I think much depends on how knowledge gets imparted, My second motor bike came as a bitza for £30 in a couple of orange box's, I asked my bro for help he said "sure", put down a tool box and a manual and said "there you go" and just grinned, this was very much how my step father passed skills, and would only step in when really needed, my bro only helped again to get it started, they both imparted the best thing of all, self reliance and if you don't quit you can make the unknown known and you only fail if you don't stay the course.
What do you wish you learnt from a relative?
- Thread starter Mesquite
- Start date
This thread made me think hard. The question is clearly about lost opportunities for learning from our elders. I don't think I missed much about practical skills. I was born during WW2 when most people had to make and mend and look after themselves. After the war, money was tight any many things were in short supply and I learned a lot from the examples of my parents and grandparents about self sufficiency and self reliance. I was an only child but my mother was determined that I would not be a spoiled brat and I was expected to look after myself from as long as I can remember. I was introduced to camping and outdoor living from an early age and learned a lot from my parents' friends who, like my teachers, had almost all served in the war. I trace my values and attitudes to them.
However, there is a downside to this. I grew up with too much unquestioned respect for authority. I was a "good" boy and did what I was told. As a result, some bad although well intentioned choices were made for me which I accepted uncritically. This led to failure at school and an unfulfilling job.
Then I had a stroke of luck at the age of 19 when I met my wife. She has a talent for thinking critically which she encouraged in me then and later on to her students. Although we were both drop outs, indeed she had been expelled twice, we put one another through higher education - me first - and both ended up teaching at university level and leading useful and rewarding lives. Although we have been most successful in bringing up two sons who have become successful in life, mainly through challenging mainstream conventions. I'm pleased to see the grandchildren developing the same proclivity by seeking, respectfully, explanations for decisions made on their behalf.
The moral of this tale is that learning from one's elders is not always the best way. Some attitudes, values and practices from the past should remain there. Speaking as someone with considerably more past than future, I am beginning to realise that I the young have more to teach me than I have to teach them. There remain many more questions than answers.
However, there is a downside to this. I grew up with too much unquestioned respect for authority. I was a "good" boy and did what I was told. As a result, some bad although well intentioned choices were made for me which I accepted uncritically. This led to failure at school and an unfulfilling job.
Then I had a stroke of luck at the age of 19 when I met my wife. She has a talent for thinking critically which she encouraged in me then and later on to her students. Although we were both drop outs, indeed she had been expelled twice, we put one another through higher education - me first - and both ended up teaching at university level and leading useful and rewarding lives. Although we have been most successful in bringing up two sons who have become successful in life, mainly through challenging mainstream conventions. I'm pleased to see the grandchildren developing the same proclivity by seeking, respectfully, explanations for decisions made on their behalf.
The moral of this tale is that learning from one's elders is not always the best way. Some attitudes, values and practices from the past should remain there. Speaking as someone with considerably more past than future, I am beginning to realise that I the young have more to teach me than I have to teach them. There remain many more questions than answers.
I totally agree. If I hadn't surrounded myself by young talent my last ten years of working life would have been both boring and unfulfilling! OK, I would occasionally step in if I thought things were going completely in the wrong direction (it was my company after all) but I was more than happy for people to innovate, try things out and, yes, learn by mistakes.
My original post on the subject was more about learning the skills from my Grandfather - just like how an apprentice would learn the skills from a master. That's a whole lot different to blindly 'following' his life's decisions and ways.
What about turning it around?
What skill would you like to pass on?
Actually, both.
What skill do you wish you'd learnt, and what skill would you like to pass on?
I'd like to pass on the realisation that very few things in life are really that important. Take some time to just stop, look, and listen. There really is no need to be in a rush all the time and most things are not that important (well, not unless you're an open-heart surgeon, of course). Stop, look at the clouds, at the people passing, at the ground beneath your feet, feel the wind on your face, the voices, the wind in the trees, the changing colours. And then, after a while, maybe then is the time to take that next step. It really doesn't matter.
What skill would you like to pass on?
Actually, both.
What skill do you wish you'd learnt, and what skill would you like to pass on?
I'd like to pass on the realisation that very few things in life are really that important. Take some time to just stop, look, and listen. There really is no need to be in a rush all the time and most things are not that important (well, not unless you're an open-heart surgeon, of course). Stop, look at the clouds, at the people passing, at the ground beneath your feet, feel the wind on your face, the voices, the wind in the trees, the changing colours. And then, after a while, maybe then is the time to take that next step. It really doesn't matter.
Great idea and I totally agree with your answer Wander. This is one of the (many) reasons I homeschooled my kids, so that they would get the chance to do exactly that without any pressure. We had some really wonderful days when they were younger. No plans, no timetable, just filled with nothing much in particular but mooching and experiencing all that nature had to offer.
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