This is how I get The wife to make lunch
- Thread starter Tomcoles
- Start date
That's good, but there is a typoe in the text. The correct text should read:
"If ever a girl pulls out a knife on you during an arguement, pull out some bread and mayo.Her woman instincts will kick in and she'll make you into a sandwich."
"If ever a girl pulls out a knife on you during an arguement, pull out some bread and mayo.Her woman instincts will kick in and she'll make you into a sandwich."
A very nice man was walking down a beach when he happened to accidentally kick and old discarded bottle.
The bottle spun away down the beach and the cork flew out.
Writhing smoke poured from the bottle and solidified into the form of a Genie who spoke in shuddering tones...
"Master - you have freed me from my eternal prison of the bottle - I will grant you your heart's desire. Command me Master and I will grant you one wish!"
Our nice friend felt a bit miffed that he had not been offered the traditional three wishes but rather than seem churlish he said nothing and set to pondering what he wanted most.
At last he spoke - "Genie of the bottle, I have always wanted to visit America but I am too scared of flying to board an airoplane and suffer too much from Sea-sickness to take a boat ... build me a bridge over the Atlantic so that I may drive to America!"
The Genie sagged aat hearing this and said "Master - give me a break! Do you not realise how big a job that is even for a Genie? What with planning permission, logistics, materials, stresses, tollerances, not to mention dealing with the construction unions and Homeland Security ... No Master - please chose another command for me to obey!"
Again our friend felt a little miffed but did not want to seem churlish so set once more to ponder...
"Genie!" he said at last" I am a man of simple needs but have had one big stumbling block placed in front of me in life: I cannot fathom the female mind. I command you Genie of the bottle to explain how the Female Mind works"
To which the Ginie replied "Master - do you want this bridge to America to be two lane or four lane, left hand or right hand drive ...? "
The bottle spun away down the beach and the cork flew out.
Writhing smoke poured from the bottle and solidified into the form of a Genie who spoke in shuddering tones...
"Master - you have freed me from my eternal prison of the bottle - I will grant you your heart's desire. Command me Master and I will grant you one wish!"
Our nice friend felt a bit miffed that he had not been offered the traditional three wishes but rather than seem churlish he said nothing and set to pondering what he wanted most.
At last he spoke - "Genie of the bottle, I have always wanted to visit America but I am too scared of flying to board an airoplane and suffer too much from Sea-sickness to take a boat ... build me a bridge over the Atlantic so that I may drive to America!"
The Genie sagged aat hearing this and said "Master - give me a break! Do you not realise how big a job that is even for a Genie? What with planning permission, logistics, materials, stresses, tollerances, not to mention dealing with the construction unions and Homeland Security ... No Master - please chose another command for me to obey!"
Again our friend felt a little miffed but did not want to seem churlish so set once more to ponder...
"Genie!" he said at last" I am a man of simple needs but have had one big stumbling block placed in front of me in life: I cannot fathom the female mind. I command you Genie of the bottle to explain how the Female Mind works"
To which the Ginie replied "Master - do you want this bridge to America to be two lane or four lane, left hand or right hand drive ...? "
I married a butchers daughter, she knows her way round a knife better than I do
That's scary. I bet you walk around the house all day with your hands covering your giblets.
Last time I asked herself to make me a sandwich I was told I had 2 choices:
1. have her make me a sandwich
OR
2. Keep my certain parts of my anatomy intact!
speaking of body armour, i assume your using this:http://www.wwtactical.com/Worlwide-Tactical-Protective-Riot-Suit_p_4.html
anything less would be inadequate.
P.s. we're all going to hell.
Ste
1. have her make me a sandwich
OR
2. Keep my certain parts of my anatomy intact!
speaking of body armour, i assume your using this:http://www.wwtactical.com/Worlwide-Tactical-Protective-Riot-Suit_p_4.html
anything less would be inadequate.
P.s. we're all going to hell.
Ste
Why is it so hard to get a sandwich? My lass doesn't mind - she just times it to coincide with fetching my beer
Why is it so hard to get a sandwich? My lass doesn't mind - she just times it to coincide with fetching my beer
:BlueTeamE
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