This is how I get The wife to make lunch

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Tomcoles

Settler
Jul 21, 2013
537
0
Buckinghamshire
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mrcharly

Bushcrafter (boy, I've got a lot to say!)
Jan 25, 2011
3,257
44
North Yorkshire, UK
That's good, but there is a typoe in the text. The correct text should read:
"If ever a girl pulls out a knife on you during an arguement, pull out some bread and mayo.Her woman instincts will kick in and she'll make you into a sandwich."
 

Baelfore

Life Member
Jan 22, 2013
585
21
Ireland
Brilliant :lmao:..........

although I feel It should be pointed out that this is a great way to get yourself stabbed. :togo::slap:

Ste
 
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atlatlman

Settler
Dec 21, 2006
750
0
ipswich
What the hell. You can only die once.

[video=youtube;LS37SNYjg8w]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LS37SNYjg8w[/video]
 

John Fenna

Lifetime Member & Maker
Oct 7, 2006
23,106
2,833
66
Pembrokeshire
A very nice man was walking down a beach when he happened to accidentally kick and old discarded bottle.
The bottle spun away down the beach and the cork flew out.
Writhing smoke poured from the bottle and solidified into the form of a Genie who spoke in shuddering tones...
"Master - you have freed me from my eternal prison of the bottle - I will grant you your heart's desire. Command me Master and I will grant you one wish!"
Our nice friend felt a bit miffed that he had not been offered the traditional three wishes but rather than seem churlish he said nothing and set to pondering what he wanted most.
At last he spoke - "Genie of the bottle, I have always wanted to visit America but I am too scared of flying to board an airoplane and suffer too much from Sea-sickness to take a boat ... build me a bridge over the Atlantic so that I may drive to America!"
The Genie sagged aat hearing this and said "Master - give me a break! Do you not realise how big a job that is even for a Genie? What with planning permission, logistics, materials, stresses, tollerances, not to mention dealing with the construction unions and Homeland Security ... No Master - please chose another command for me to obey!"
Again our friend felt a little miffed but did not want to seem churlish so set once more to ponder...
"Genie!" he said at last" I am a man of simple needs but have had one big stumbling block placed in front of me in life: I cannot fathom the female mind. I command you Genie of the bottle to explain how the Female Mind works"
To which the Ginie replied "Master - do you want this bridge to America to be two lane or four lane, left hand or right hand drive ...? "
 

British Red

M.A.B (Mad About Bushcraft)
Dec 30, 2005
26,709
1,947
Mercia
Why is it so hard to get a sandwich? My lass doesn't mind - she just times it to coincide with fetching my beer :)
 

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