Some people should not......

[TarHeelBrit]

Have access to technology. Let me explain. My Brother in Law lives 5 thousand miles from us and he called wanting some help with his computer to transfer files from the desktop to an SD card.

He said he took the card from his camera and was going to use that. BUT (here's where the fun/frustration starts) he said his SD card wouldn't fit in the slot no matter how he tried. My wifes frustration was mounting like a volcano about to explode. They have the same laptop so she knows the card will fit.

After about 30mins of back and fourth she asked him to describe the SD card to her. He said

It's about 1"x3/4"x1.5" and says Lithium Ion 3.8v

He had taken the battery out of the camera thinking it was the SD card.

Like I said some people shouldn't have access to technology.

 

[santaman2000]

You'd be surprised at some of the problems pilots complain of during an after-mission debrief. Bear in mind that these are educated people (often with engineering degrees) who had to pass technical aptitude tests before extensive training.

-It doesn't work in O.F.F. mode
-Should I do an ops check of the egress system?
-I heard a noise from the external fuel tank that sounded like a little man running around inside with a hammer

Ok. One of those I made up but the other two are real. I'll let y'all guess which ones are which.

 

[TarHeelBrit]

You'd be surprised at some of the problems pilots complain of during an after-mission debrief. Bear in mind that these are educated people (often with engineering degrees) who had to pass technical aptitude tests before extensive training.

-It doesn't work in O.F.F. mode
-Should I do an ops check of the egress system?
-I heard a noise from the external fuel tank that sounded like a little man running around inside with a hammer

Ok. One of those I made up but the other two are real. I'll let y'all guess which ones are which.

Oh I can well beleive that. My wife worked in the airline industry for 14 years and said pilots were the whiniest bunch of jerks you could ever meet. One maintainence report spoke of a whitsling noise and 30,000 feet and the mechs needed to fix it. They wrote it off by writing "unable to replicate sound at 0.00 feet, please advise for further action". Another pilot put in a request for more stuffing in the seat backrest as he found it made his back ache. He was told in no uncertain terms to buy a pillow or put up with it.

 

[santaman2000]

...... They wrote it off by writing "unable to replicate sound at 0.00 feet, please advise for further action".....

LOL. I was in maintenance in the military. An awful lot of write-ups were signed off that way. We abbreviated it (in the maintenance forms) as "CND" (Can Not Duplicate) Sadly some of them were real but we really couldn't duplicate on the ground. It was like chasing the proverbial gremlins.

 

[GGTBod]

Quality stuff i agree with every fiber of my being, about 10 years back i tried to teach my mother to use a pc (i was a cisco tech back then lol), we had her using my desktop pc on a monitor we could both see and i was using a laptop hooked to my tv so she could follow my actions, so we get switched on and i start to bang my head against the wall instantly, i ask her to move the pointer up the screen like mine is on the tv, i look at her monitor as she says 'Mine is not moving' as i look over i see her lifting the mouse up in the air to move the cursor up the screen, it was a long long day and we got nowhere fast.

 

[Toddy]

"Back up my hard drive.....how do I put it in reverse ?"
Or the lady who asked for a replacement coffee mug holder for her computer since the last one had just broken off....she was using the cd sliding out thingie to hold her mug and was indignant that the saleman said that no computer came with a built in coffee mug shelf.

I openly admit I'm the computer clutz among the Mods, and I refer to my husband and sons as my Technical Reference Manuals, 1, 2, and 3 but if I can manage to be effective with the computer, then anyone can.

It's a very different world that children are growing up in nowadays

http://www.funny-joke-pictures.com/2013/04/child-grandma-internet-explorer.html#.U8Mxuijab3U

M

 

[GGTBod]

Saved that pic me mother will love it, sad but so true

My three year old niece is multiracial and is learning both languages as her first tongue and is just getting to be gobby in both, she has also of her own doing started translating between what her dad says to her in his language to her mother who does not speak it and maddest of all is all of her English is very broad Geordie dialect and old speak due to her hanging out wi my mother and regularly visiting the old peoples home, it is very funny to watch her working all us slow old gits out in nano seconds, anyway waffling on here, my point lol they got the full sky broadband malarky in last week and yesterday she said in as geordie as you can imagine "Ahhh luv broadband me like" before they had broadband they used a dongle in a laptop from a mobile phone company to get internet, she loves broadband, gonna be like cyborgs by the time they are 20 these bairns

 

[Blaidd]

When I worked in a learndirect centre (for non UK, that's a shop/office which offers government funded computer/English/maths courses, delivered via the internet), one of our Admins was talking a student through a problem by phone and was confused by the long delays between suggestions and response, then when asked what the customer could see "on windows" was told "trees". Turns out the phone was downstairs, the computer upstairs, and when the customer looked out of her window she could see trees. Magic!

In one place I worked, the Problem Resolution result was often UFP (user finger problem). I've also heard problems described as BCAK (between chair and keyboard.)

 

[Blaidd]

"Back up my hard drive.....how do I put it in reverse ?"
Or the lady who asked for a replacement coffee mug holder for her computer since the last one had just broken off....she was using the cd sliding out thingie to hold her mug and was indignant that the saleman said that no computer came with a built in coffee mug shelf.

I openly admit I'm the computer clutz among the Mods, and I refer to my husband and sons as my Technical Reference Manuals, 1, 2, and 3 but if I can manage to be effective with the computer, then anyone can.

It's a very different world that children are growing up in nowadays

http://www.funny-joke-pictures.com/2013/04/child-grandma-internet-explorer.html#.U8Mxuijab3U

M

Using Internet Explorer? There's your problem right there! Heehee.

 

[dwardo]

Once had a customer who`s computer could not find or see his printer, he couldn't understand it as his monitor was pointed right at the printer sitting on the other side of the room.

 

[santaman2000]

.....I've also heard problems described as BCAK (between chair and keyboard.)

On aircraft it's similarly described as "short between headsets."

 

[cranmere]

Excuse me while I get my breath back from laughing. I worked on hell desk for a while and you learn never to be surprised by the weird and wonderful things that people do to their machines. On the other hand I wouldn't have a clue where to start in many other people's professions so I try not to laugh too hard.

 

[cranmere]

as i look over i see her lifting the mouse up in the air to move the cursor up the screen, it was a long long day and we got nowhere fast.

Been there, seen that. I worked for a company that built and installed networks for dental surgeries. Many of the receptionists were completely tech-illiterate and one of my jobs was to teach them how to use the booking systems. 'Nuff said.

 

[Toddy]

Using Internet Explorer? There's your problem right there! Heehee.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.... I know
When I first asked for IE to be installed on my computer (nearly 20 years ago, since it was compatable with what the University ones were running) Son1 said, "Pretty pictures for idiots, Mum."
These days I use an Mac Mini, with the magic trackpad....I mind using the mouse thing that kind of worked like brail, and I had both one of the first psions and the even smaller stylus touch screen ones too.
To be honest, you get used to what you have, but changing is a total melt down for many of us

cheers,
Mary

 

[BillyBlade]

Speaking as both a pilot and someone with an engineering degree, but British, I can only conclude the above to be contained to the United States.

In the interests of harmony between nations, I'll say nothing further.

 

[dave89]

I used to work with electricals, i once rang a man to see if his new tele was okay. He said he didn't know as he was waiting for the switch over from analog to digital.

 

[Man of Tanith]

my mum is threatening to get a smart phone and tablet....

I'm dreading it as i am her first call point for tech support. problem being I know more than mum but not by much.
so often I can't help her.
especially as the latest laptop she has runs windows8 which i have no experience with. brother in law recommended the laptop

Now I just refer her to my brother in law

 

[santaman2000]

Speaking as both a pilot and someone with an engineering degree, but British, I can only conclude the above to be contained to the United States.

In the interests of harmony between nations, I'll say nothing further.

Which bit? The "short between headsets" bit? Or the first three debrief comments? In any case, as far as I know they're confined entirely to military (specifically Air Force) But no, it wasn't just US pilots. We had a fair few British and Aussie exchange pilots and maintenance officers as well.

 

[mousey]

This has reminded me of an e-mail someone sent me a very long time ago, I've copied and pasted it for others amusement:-


Qantas Airlines: Repair Division

In case you need a laugh:
Remember, it takes a college degree to fly a plane but only a high school diploma to fix one.

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a 'Gripe Sheet' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.
The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the Gripe Sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humour.
Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.


P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny............ (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

And the best one for last..................
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

 

[Nice65]

Speaking as both a pilot and someone with an engineering degree, but British, I can only conclude the above to be contained to the United States.

In the interests of harmony between nations, I'll say nothing further.

Not even about low altitude flying. Go on