Night terrors - daughter recently turned 4 and started with them

[Melonfish]

both my lads have had nightmares, more recently my youngest who's also 4 was seeing Rudy from Ice age 3 chasing him, he now has an avengers bed cover to help keep the nasty dreams away and that works for him.
tbh when i read the fellowship when i was a kid it scared the life out of me so i can imagine what a visual interpretation does to a 4 year old!

I can relate however, seeing Aliens when i was 7 really unhinged my night times, i'd find any excuse to stay up with my parents and i'd barricade myself into my bed using teddies and whatever i could find, i had to mentally make myself not think of anything just let my mind go blank to get to sleep. odd couple of weeks that i'm sure it left a permanent mark somewhere, still one of my fave films mind.

 

[EmmaD]

Night terrors are not like nightmares where fears and books/film images can cause bad dreams. Night terrors occur during deep sleep and it makes no difference how secure or content/safe you feel as you dose off. They are not scary dreams, but intense terrifying experiences that have the same effect on the mind and body that I cannot even begin to convey the amount of fear they generate to those that have never experienced them. You can't control the fear as it escalates, and it takes over completely. Luckily very few people remember them a few minutes after waking.

 

[stonyman]

I feel for you and your daughter, I too used to suffer from those when I was a child, my mum told me that the only way she could calm me down was to walk round the garden cuddling me and talking to me, it didn't matter what time it was she just picked me up and went straight outdoors, it turns out I was suffering from a form of claustraphobia, the only problem was my mum at the time was suffering from agoraphobia. I know this wont help much but my thoughts are with you both.

 

[Ronnie]

That approach worked for me too, Stonyman - although I wouldn't say I was or am claustrophobic. I used to get weird sensations of being an astronomically long way away from where I wanted to be and having no way to get back - my mother once told me that when I was three years old, I told her repeatedly that "I'm dead". Must have been kind of disturbing to hear that from your child in the middle of the night to put it mildly.

Found a huge resource here:

http://www.nightterrors.org/SMF/

You might well get more useful answers from these discussions than from your GP.

 

[JohnC]

My youngest son had these at around the same age, he's 11 now, and they were very scary for us at the start, and there was the loss of recognition of people around etc as described. I would hold onto him, or talk till he woke up or at least started focussing on the surroundings, then we'd get him back to bed. We talked about dreams and we did look out for what he was watching or reading, but pretty much anything could set them off I guess. He grew out of them eventually, but you two have my sympathies as they are no fun at the time...

 

[Biker]

Thanks Ronnie I was going to suggest the same thing it might be able to help more than we could offer here. I mean the only thing we can show is sympathy and support, what that support that might actually be on an internet forum, but you get my drift. However official tried and tested forums and websites dedicated to this subject might be the route to go to to ask advice.

God it's breaking my heart just reading what you're going through Xunil. Know that we're here for you mate. Get her to a quack before it breaks you down too.

I can so see the paradox you're in though, your hugs and cuddles for her mid-terror must be reinforcing what she's experiencing in her mind, and that's capture. But what can you do? You can't just stand and watch her scream and not step in to try and help.

Can't believe your ex allowed a 4 year old to watch Lord of the Rings. A child that age simply cannot mentally process such things as orcs and such as make believe. Sheesh!

 

[Xunil]

Thanks again everyone, for your comments and support, which is very much appreciated.

I don't want to be too hasty (to quote Treebeard ) in blaming Lord of the Rings or my other half here - I think that would be too easy and convenient for me.

Any child's cartoon these days has all kinds of scary stuff going on, so while there is a possibility that LOTR had something to do with this it remains only that; a possibility.

If things don't settle over the next couple of days I am taking Charlotte to our GP for further discussion, but I expect in that event to be told "it's just a phase and she'll grow out of it" which it very probably is.

It's upsetting for all concerned but looking for a single direct cause is going to be almost impossible to pinpoint and I suspect a quick and easy solution may be just as difficult to find.

Thanks again everyone

To be continued...

 

[morch]

If things don't settle over the next couple of days I am taking Charlotte to our GP for further discussion, but I expect in that event to be told "it's just a phase and she'll grow out of it" which it very probably is.

It's upsetting for all concerned but looking for a single direct cause is going to be almost impossible to pinpoint and I suspect a quick and easy solution may be just as difficult to find.

Thanks again everyone

To be continued...

My heart bleeds for you my friend. I can only hope they stop soon.

atb

Dave

 

[Zingmo]

Xunil, you have my sympathy. My little one had these at around that age. My wife couldn't deal with it so it was always my job. We learned that the only thing you could do for her was to make sure she didn't hurt herself. Those who have suggested picking her up and cuddling her have not seen a child in this state. I used to try all kinds of things to interupt the dream, some of which worked sometimes. (Flashing the light on and off, loud cheerful singing, and when possible, holding her from behind so she couldn't see my face (she would react as if I was wearing some scary mask), and always talking reassuringly to her. Try to remain calm yourself (tough I know).

One thing that we noticed that really made a difference was that the night terrors were far more likely if she was tired. I figure she spent her days trying to keep up mentally and physically with her older sister and needed more sleep than most.

She is six now and hasn't had one for a year or more. She is still a restless sleeper, often losing the duvet, calling out nonsense or falling out of bed, but there is no sign of damage. She has turned out to be a fascinating character; left-handed, very intelligent and fiercely independent ("a right handfull") and I wonder now if the night-terrors were just a part of all that.

My advice in a nutshell: get her down for a nap when you can and next time it all kicks off turn the light on and sing out "The wheels on the bus go round and round..."

Z