my advice, rent out bungalow, dont sell, put a padlock on attic and store stuff in there. it sounds as if it wont be a permanent move.
have a look at st louis on google earth, and take virtual walk out from it to find some wilderness areas, after all, US is know for its wildernesses.
Even if I could store my gear there's no way I could go that long without "checking" my gear hell it's only been a couple of weeks and i'm already getting withdrawal symptoms. My gear is in a container in port waiting for a ship.
Any idea if your wife has thought beyond the life span of her brother? I'd be inclined, once there, to explain my feelings.
Your days of impromptu walk-abouts might be over in the short term but that could depend on where you lay your head.
She said the other day that in the long term she'd like to stay in the US and buy a piece of land and build a cabin out there. True there's no more bimbles to the cricket ground but there's Debbi's old stomping ground of Babler State Park.
Sorry for your BIL's troubles. Likewise for the pains of moving.
On the good side, I'd not settle in St Louis proper (nor do I expect it's your preference0 Rather I'd look for land nearby and either build/buy a small farmhouse or a mobile home. There's loads, and loads, and loads of farmland in the area as well as public recreational land. Renting is never a good idea here (as you probably already know) Just buy a small piece of property and if you decide to leave you can easily sell it at a profit.
No mate... I agree renting is a BAD idea, money down the drain and no equity. As I said she would (in the long term) like to buy and build a second home out in the sticks, nothing grand just cabin type setup.
One more bit of advise. He's your wife's brother and she loves him. That said, alcoholics can be (and usually are) quite adept at laying blame elsewhere. They're also very good at guilting family and friends into sympathy to the point where you loan money you don't have, miss work, lose time with other family members/friends, apologize for things not your fault, etc. and totally ruin your own life. In most cases it ends up enabling the addict to continue rather than helping him. Please-----don't let him make his problems yours.
Oh boy you got that right, it's never his problem it's always someone/something else's fault. Deb has already said he's only going to get so much help and no more with 3 rehabs behind him she recons if the pros can't help then there's not much she/we can do.
I agree. Alcoholism is a terrible disease, it's incredibly manipulative and destructive both to the user, and the people around them.
I'll be blunt. Anyone that rehabs 3 times and takes to drinking again believing the alcohol isn't the cause of their problems is probably doomed. Rehab treatments are pretty intense, the denial is dealt with comprehensively, it's key to recovery.
I wish you the very best, don't let his disease affect your marriage, be well aware that it could. And I hope you find some places out there where you can ground yourself.
Sad to say but we agree...he could be too far gone. That's okay no chance of that happening.
Yes of course I was. It's important, and possibly essential for this guy. He's being taken from his home environment to a city, and a possibly challenging period of his life. The man will be needing time with nature.
it's going to be a challenge no doubt but as for grounding I like the look of Babler park.
Absolutely. I've been following TarHeelBrit since back when he lived in North Carolina. Missouri's going to be a bit different from the east Coast he knew then as well.
Ah so it was you on the patio knocking over the plant pots, did you steal my tomatoes off the vine as well? I was blaming the Raccoons!
Mate that's the most insensitive comment i've read on this forum.
The lad still needs profession help and his family around him to beat his demons.
I've been there myself........... But i'd rather not go in to detail on a public forum.
TarHeelBrit... Good luck to you and your good wife.. and i hope he sees the light and takes the help that he so desperately needs.
But talking from experience... you need to have hit rock bottom and be willing and ready to take the first steps to live a clean life.
B.G
Well to be honest she considered shipping his [bleep] over here until I reminded her there are 3 pubs in the village.
Alcohol isnt just an addiction...its a lifestyle choice.
It's a lifestyle choice when it's cost you jobs, life long friends and a nice home (twice).
My apologies for not sounding like a cottonball of no use.
Having had a drug addict in the family, the cheesy sobbing factor is low in the system.
The pampering does rarely any good.
No worries mate, see above.
Just to sound a more hopeful note. I have been privileged to know a few "recovered" alcoholics (they all would have said they were still alcoholics). Men (that's what they were) who had found in themselves the strength to wrestle their demons every day and still enjoy life without complaining.
All the best with the move.
Z
Us too when in Anchorage one of our tenants was recovering and took a job as a bartender to constantly test himself. Matt had that jobfor 6 years when we left and the last we heard he was still dry and bumped up to bar manager. So yes recovery is possible
IF you want it.
