Eco-friendly Clog-Popping

[Chris]

My dad died yesterday morning as I sat holding his hand, after a few years suffering from dementia. As such I’ve been a bit more aware than usual about how I might like to spend my eternity after this life, in a manner which fits my beliefs and doesn’t involve polluting chemicals or big chunks of metal/plastic in the ground. I think a a lot of thought goes into the bit just before we die, and hoping that’s as comfortable as can be, but otherwise in my experience it’s just a choice of cremation or a coffin burial in a standard sort of graveyard.

The idea of one of those eco pods where you basically have a tree grown out of you sounds quite cool, but also seen that you can get woodland burials where you are just buried naturally in some nice woodland and become part of the ecosystem.

The eco-pod thing doesn’t appear to be legal in the UK yet, unfortunately. But I really do like the idea of my physical remains becoming a tree and helping create clean air for people to breathe, and a home for wildlife.

Are there any interesting but less conventional burial methods that people are aware of? All I know so far is I don’t want a big coffin and lots of chemicals buried in the earth.

 

[Toddy]

I'm sorry to hear of this, Chris. My brother died in June and even knowing it was inevitable, it's not easy.
Heartfelt condolences.

Embalming is toxic. The claims about it being safe are mince. It's toxic.
Do as little as possible to the body before either burial or destruction and it's a much healthier process for the environment, etc.,
Same with the coffin; keep it simple, wood, basketwork or cardboard.

Cremation is quick and simple and then all the bits left can just go back into the cycle of life to live again and again.
A clean burial rots down over time, bone loses collagen to the environment and then crumbles back into mineral dust.
Too deep can take a while though.
Religious practices can add issues too.

Honestly ? I like the idea of a woodland funeral, where new woods are grown over the graves, but I reckon I'll be cremated and they can scatter the ashes in the river.

Keep it simple.

M

 

[Broch]

My condolences Chris; I still miss my parents after several years.

I've given this some thought recently. We saved my Mum's ashes so we could scatter them with my Dad's. We took them down to the beautiful beach in South Wales where they used to go walking as a young couple. Poured the ashes into one of the rock pools and watched the tide come in and wash them away - it was a very pleasant experience in its way.

For me, cremation and ashes scattered into this woodland that I am putting my heart into. My only concern with that would be if it put the grandchildren off going into the wood

 

[TeeDee]

Firstly sincere condolences , dementia is a horrible insidious ailment for everyone in the circle. So maybe the passing is a release in terms of loss..

I've also thought about this and concluded I don't really want the religious ceremony side of things at huge cost - I'm just a ghost spirit driving a skeletal mech suit covered in flesh. When the off switch is down - There is no more of me present to be worried about , just respectfully and hygienically disposed of.

Sea Burial I'm hoping has got to be cheap? Although I'd prefer a wood land burial just so something can grow from me.

 

[Pattree]

I’ve asked for a “direct cremation” Undertaker takes me straight to the crem. No service no gathering. My children think this is odd as I do celebrate funerals for others. My eldest daughter made it very clear: You won’t be there Dad. We will decide what to do with you. That’s OK by me. There’s nothing sacred about inconvenient last wishes.

Right now I am camped a few meters from a friend’s grave. He’s buried up on the hillside near his cottage. This was a home made funeral and the undertaker was very helpful. I had the honour of speaking the committal. His widow did everything else including getting the hole dug and approved and organising the quad to pull the trailer up the mountain.

 

[Falstaff]

The good news Chris, is the answer is yes, we did this for my father. He had a fully organic burial. The choices are a cardboard coffin or a one of natural woven materials. Both of which rot down over time without metal residue etc.
The undertakers are not keen on the cardboard, for fear it might fold under the weight in it, but I doubt this would really happen. It was also quite economical vs a fancy "hardwood"/mdf etc coffin.
Various cemeteries now have re-wilding areas, where after a time they plant over the plots such things as hawthorn etc to grow into a wildlife habitat and divider between convential plot areas. Some folk hang a chain and label on the tree, we decided not to.
You might have to do a bit of research and asking to find such places in your area.

My mother on the other hand was clear - cremation, no marker/stone or place. "They can spread my ashes in the ditch for all I care" unquote. She did not believe in taking up valuable land for even cremation vases etc. and felt cremation was a cleaner and more responsible way of disposing of bodies. We didn't even have a service, she was cremated by the undertakers as and when they chose to.

 

[Chris]

I'm sorry to hear of this, Chris. My brother died in June and even knowing it was inevitable, it's not easy.
Heartfelt condolences.

Embalming is toxic. The claims about it being safe are mince. It's toxic.
Do as little as possible to the body before either burial or destruction and it's a much healthier process for the environment, etc.,
Same with the coffin; keep it simple, wood, basketwork or cardboard.

Cremation is quick and simple and then all the bits left can just go back into the cycle of life to live again and again.
A clean burial rots down over time, bone loses collagen to the environment and then crumbles back into mineral dust.
Too deep can take a while though.
Religious practices can add issues too.

Honestly ? I like the idea of a woodland funeral, where new woods are grown over the graves, but I reckon I'll be cremated and they can scatter the ashes in the river.

Keep it simple.

M

Thanks Toddy, and really sorry to hear about your brother too.

I think cremation seems nice in some ways, but then I wonder if I’m robbing the ecosystem of nutrients by burning and turning some of it into smoke. It was always my preferred option previously, but hearing about woodland burials has made me start to rethink it.

 

[Danceswithhelicopters]

I broached the subject with my sharp as a tack 85 year old mum. A bottle of Ledaig was opened and the discussion degenerated into her demanding a Viking boat funeral complete with flaming arrows.

 

[Chris]

My condolences Chris; I still miss my parents after several years.

I've given this some thought recently. We saved my Mum's ashes so we could scatter them with my Dad's. We took them down to the beautiful beach in South Wales where they used to go walking as a young couple. Poured the ashes into one of the rock pools and watched the tide come in and wash them away - it was a very pleasant experience in its way.

For me, cremation and ashes scattered into this woodland that I am putting my heart into. My only concern with that would be if it put the grandchildren off going into the wood

Thanks Broch, I appreciate it.

I would really like to have some of me on/near a beach which is my favourite place in the world, in North Devon. That does kind of become dependent on cremation though as I don’t want a stray toe to spook a surfer…

Your woodland idea sounds lovely. It’s clear how important that place is to you. Perhaps grandchildren would be open to the idea of it being an opportunity to be close to you rather than anything scary?

 

[Chris]

I broached the subject with my sharp as a tack 85 year old mum. A bottle of Ledaig was opened and the discussion degenerated into her demanding a Viking boat funeral complete with flaming arrows.

Is that so much to ask?!

 

[Chris]

Firstly sincere condolences , dementia is a horrible insidious ailment for everyone in the circle. So maybe the passing is a release in terms of loss..

I've also thought about this and concluded I don't really want the religious ceremony side of things at huge cost - I'm just a ghost spirit driving a skeletal mech suit covered in flesh. When the off switch is down - There is no more of me present to be worried about , just respectfully and hygienically disposed of.

Sea Burial I'm hoping has got to be cheap? Although I'd prefer a wood land burial just so something can grow from me.

Thanks mate. It is indeed a dreadful disease and the sadness is also paired with a relief of not having to see him going through that anymore, and also a weight off my shoulders in terms of his care.

I am similarly uninterested in a religious style ceremony. I feel like a creature of this Earth though and do feel a deep connection to it which creates an immortality of sorts. Not conscious, probably, but the bits that make up this meat bag being recycled into more life throughout time does have a romantic appeal to me.

 

[Chris]

The good news Chris, is the answer is yes, we did this for my father. He had a fully organic burial. The choices are a cardboard coffin or a one of natural woven materials. Both of which rot down over time without metal residue etc.
The undertakers are not keen on the cardboard, for fear it might fold under the weight in it, but I doubt this would really happen. It was also quite economical vs a fancy "hardwood"/mdf etc coffin.
Various cemeteries now have re-wilding areas, where after a time they plant over the plots such things as hawthorn etc to grow into a wildlife habitat and divider between convential plot areas. Some folk hang a chain and label on the tree, we decided not to.
You might have to do a bit of research and asking to find such places in your area.

My mother on the other hand was clear - cremation, no marker/stone or place. "They can spread my ashes in the ditch for all I care" unquote. She did not believe in taking up valuable land for even cremation vases etc. and felt cremation was a cleaner and more responsible way of disposing of bodies. We didn't even have a service, she was cremated by the undertakers as and when they chose to.

I love the sound of that sort of organic affair. Rewilded and being absorbed by nature sounds rather lovely indeed.

 

[TeeDee]

I should also add I have access to a wood chipper. Completely unrelated.

Thanks mate. It is indeed a dreadful disease and the sadness is also paired with a relief of not having to see him going through that anymore, and also a weight off my shoulders in terms of his care.

I am similarly uninterested in a religious style ceremony. I feel like a creature of this Earth though and do feel a deep connection to it which creates an immortality of sorts. Not conscious, probably, but the bits that make up this meat bag being recycled into more life throughout time does have a romantic appeal to me.

I think in the following way - if it helps.

Requirement for Spirituality is akin to the human requirement for nutritional sustenance.
Branded Religious division and dogma is akin to competing Fast Food franchises...

One can be spiritual and not need to choose a favourite fast food joint.

 

[Van-Wild]

I broached the subject with my sharp as a tack 85 year old mum. A bottle of Ledaig was opened and the discussion degenerated into her demanding a Viking boat funeral complete with flaming arrows.

This is how I genuinely want to go. Pushed out to sea on a long boat, a flaming arrow shot into the fuel soaked straw. Unfortunately, I think the law in England wouldn't allow it. So failing that, I'll probably be cremated with my ashes thrown into the air.

My condolences to Chris, I'll tip my hat.

 

[TeeDee]

This is how I genuinely want to go. Pushed out to sea on a long boat, a flaming arrow shot into the fuel soaked straw. Unfortunately, I think the law in England wouldn't allow it. So failing that, I'll probably be cremated with my ashes thrown into the air.

My condolences to Chris, I'll tip my hat.

Best I can do is a boating pond in a municipal park , ratchet strapped to the fibreglass Swan facsimile Pedlo and a liberal dousing of accelerant.

 

[Toddy]

You could join your local Viking reenactment group.

I know that the ashes of individuals are sometimes put on the longships they set alight.
My friends born to soon baby was given this. Now when the longship is burnt at the end of their year's big show, Mum and sisters put a posy of white flowers on the boat.

It's not a big public spectacle bit of things, just a quiet private few moments given in peace and everyone of the group knows, kind of thing.

 

[oldtimer]

Sorry to hear of your loss, but bear in mind that funerals are not for the benefit of the deceased but for those who survive them. We've been through the viking/jazz/cremation/burial fantasies but currently fancy cremation and ashes mixed after the last one goes. Having been together for 63 years so far, the idea of finishing up in the same place appeals but realistically we know we won't care what happens to us when we're dead. We would quite like to feel that we'd live on in the memories of those who've known us, however.

 

[sandsnakes]

Having hit my 70's I have thought about this a lot! The co-op do a prepaid plan . Die, take you away, burn you (card board coffin) and return your ashes to family or nominated individual. Having lost both parents in the last two years the cost of funerals and the associated events can cost a small fortune. Your ashes can then be placed where you want or they want. The anxiety and desire not to be seen to be a cheapskate on the family is very strong. Many people do not make good desicions in grief. So sort it out now and they have no responsibilites other than deciding where to hold the party!

 

[Chris]

We ended up having my Dad’s remains cremated without a service, a small group of close friends and family went to bury the majority of his ashes and say a few words, and then we got everyone together at his old local cricket club where he used to spend every weekend (including coaching me and my friends when I was at school), and had a few drinks courtesy of him. Also left a donation behind the bar there for the regulars come the weekend.

He was cremated in a tshirt, shorts and his trainers which are what he lived in for 363 days of the year as a Yorkshireman.

I don’t think anyone missed a classic church/crematorium service and am sure he wouldn’t have wanted spending thousands of pounds doing that (again, Yorkshireman) so it was all in all a positive affair rather than a big and somber performatory one.

 

[Toddy]

Sounds like a good send off. Kind on his friends and family, and the sort of funeral he'd have said was a decent one too