Are Good Manners Dying?

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TeeDee

Full Member
Nov 6, 2008
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Exeter
The other day, I was working in a prison (signed in and escorted, not staying as guest! ) and when I was served my lunch by a prisoner, I said 'thank you sir'. He smiled and said that was the first time anyone had called him sir. Manners cost nothing, it was the way I was bought up and its the reason why my children use manners as well. If they're rude to anyone at all, they're rebuked immediately, wherever they are, as I was when I was young.

Not being a Parent myself but having had to receive or fear the rebuking as a child I tend to believe you are correct.
 
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TLM

Bushcrafter (boy, I've got a lot to say!)
Nov 16, 2019
3,092
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Vantaa, Finland
But to be fair , I'm not Intolerant of his Intolerance, I'm just identifying. Obviously.
That is what all the intolerants say, though I used to be very indecisive but I am not so sure anymore ...

Like the guy who was raving that all intolerants should be punished severely ...

There are actually some people whom any kind of politeness or well mannered behaviour is totally wasted, they seem to take it as weakness of some kind. So far my experience is that playing a rock has some chances of working into their limited awareness. Immovable and unbreakable.

But generally people react positively which is usually not a bad thing.
 
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TeeDee

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There are actually some people whom any kind of politeness or well mannered behaviour is totally wasted, they seem to take it as weakness of some kind.

I've also heard that theory. Mainly by men whom believe in the Idea of Alpha Male Syndrome but tend to try to self identify as the same.
 
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TLM

Bushcrafter (boy, I've got a lot to say!)
Nov 16, 2019
3,092
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Vantaa, Finland
believe in the Idea of Alpha Male Syndrome but tend to try to self identify as the same.

I am definitely a Beta so no chance of that. Just happened to remember it because I met one today, this one backed off when you stood your ground firmly enough, no need to even get aggressive but just state some facts of life ..
 
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TeeDee

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I am definitely a Beta so no chance of that. Just happened to remember it because I met one today, this one backed off when you stood your ground firmly enough, no need to even get aggressive but just state some facts of life ..




Why do you feel you are Beta? What is the criteria one needs to be to fit into a Beta format?
 
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oldtimer

Full Member
Sep 27, 2005
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Are you referring to conventional manners, which are an artificial construct or to overt expressions of mutual respect?

Although the means of expression may have changed, I find that the great majority of people of all ages treat me with as much respect as they always have by reflecting the way I treat them.

This does sometimes mean keeping quiet about things that I find irritating. An example would be people complaining about poor spelling and grammar while demonstrating in their posts how weak their own grasp of English is.
 
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TeeDee

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Nov 6, 2008
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Are you referring to conventional manners, which are an artificial construct or to overt expressions of mutual respect?

I'm referring to Conventional Manners - not sure how they are an Artificial Construct however unless this is a Class based question.

What else could be considered an Artificial Construct? Grammar?

If I remember correctly Oldtimer , your previous Occupation was that of a teacher - Headmaster?

How did you deal with ( or maybe you didn't if they are indeed Artificial Constructs) the use of Manners in the schooling system?



Although the means of expression may have changed, I find that the great majority of people of all ages treat me with as much respect as they always have by reflecting the way I treat them.

All power to you and I hope that continues.




This does sometimes mean keeping quiet about things that I find irritating. An example would be people complaining about poor spelling and grammar while demonstrating in their posts how weak their own grasp of English is.
 
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Wander

Native
Jan 6, 2017
1,418
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Here There & Everywhere
I'm not so convinced that good manners are dying, so much as it's a less deferential society.
Which I'm in full agreement with.

What do we mean by 'good manners'? Those artificial language constructs?
Maybe they are lessening, but that doesn't mean good manners are any less.

In my experience, if you treat and speak to someone politely, they will react likewise.
Oh, they may not speak and use the words I do, but politeness and manners are still there nonetheless.
 

Wander

Native
Jan 6, 2017
1,418
1,983
Here There & Everywhere
The expression I hate lately is "can I get"

Yeah, I'm with you on that one.
My other bete noirs are British people who refer to films as 'movies' and the phrase, 'No worries' when I go into a shop and ask for something (I feel the need to reply, 'It's really not causing me any worries.' But I don't because I know it won't achieve anything except making me look like a git).

But these things are my problem and there's no reason why anyone could or should stop saying these things.
Language changes all the time and so do its verbal tics. And I love the fact that it does so.
 

The Frightful

Full Member
Apr 21, 2020
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Essex
Its true, language is ever evolving but i really dislike Americanism's. (No offence intended ) Its inevitable i guess with the amount of exposure we have to it. Occasionally on the box i hear old school Jamaican which i find so easy on the ears. Scots, Welsh, Irish both North and south all seem to have a proud cultural identity. I guess even those dialects are diluted in some areas within their borders. Thinking about it, i am probably more irritated due to being a generic white home counties mongrel who would love some undiluted national heritage :(
 
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Duggie Bravo

Settler
Jul 27, 2013
532
124
Dewsbury
For those bashing the youth, I find it is the old that are worst, they push past you expect you to give way and at the moment when we are trying to be Covid secure get far too close.
They also seem to think that they don’t need to use manners or a polite to e when they speak.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
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