1000 post competition. Make me laugh...

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Andy BB

Full Member
Apr 19, 2010
3,290
3
Hampshire
OK. One requirement for the grand prize (and if you believe the prize is grand, you'll believe anything!) My decision will be final...

Either
- good joke, or
- amusing picture.


Simples......
 
Angela Merkel had to go to Greece. As she arrived at Athens airport she had to go through passport control.
Customs man said "name?"
she replied "Merkel"
"Occupation?"
"No, I am here on business"
 
The FBI are looking for an assassin. There are three candidates, two men and one woman.
They are taken to a place with three containers. Each container contains one of the candidates partners tied to a chair.
The first man is given a gun and is told to go in and shoot his partner.
He says he cant do it and he's out.
The second guy is told to do the same and says
"I can't do it"
He's out!
So the woman goes in and you hear a lot of scuffling and bangs from the gun and wood on metal.
She comes out and says
"The gun was filled with blanks i had to beat him to death with the chair"
 
56b91678-2e02-46c7.jpg


Sent from my Galaxy Nexus using Tapatalk 2
 
A penguin walks into a pub and asks the landlord,
"Has my dad been in"
The landlord replies,
"What does he look like"....

My better jokes only work "in person" so this is the calibre I'm afraid.

Sent from my Galaxy Nexus using Tapatalk 2
 
The teacher asks wee Jonny if he could name a vegetable that could make you eyes water
Wee jonny thinks for a bit ,and says turnip
Turnip says the teacher how does that make you eyes water
Wee jonny says if you got hit in the balls with one am sure it would make your eyes water


Jason
 
Uncle chiseller in his cycling attire, having a brew in a tahn centre watering ole
2011-06-14205548.jpg
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Sent from my HTC Explorer using Tapatalk 2
 
little red indian girl walks into her grandfathers tipi,

'what puzzles you child'?
'grandfather, how are we named so'?

'when a squaw gives birth, the childs father opens the tipi door and names the child after the first thing he sees.
running deer,... thunder cloud on white pony, ...whispering trees, etc'

'ah i see grandfather'
'is there anything else, brown dog having a sh&t'?...
 
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