Do we coddle the kids too much these days?

[GreyCat]

Following on from a thread in the Homestead forum.....

Do we coddle kids too much?

I guess it s a bit wider than that, and more about trying to pack kids (and young adults) in cotton wool so they never experience any "bad things" whether that be a hurty word, experience of nature red in tooth and claw or perhaps even any boundaries?

I am of the view that there is a big strand of that in society these days. Partly due to a fear of things, but perhaps also a fear of failure. To grow, we need to fail. To love, we will end up grieving. But society seems to want "happiness" without the rest of it. Maybe we are too interested in "stuff" and not on the wonderful world around us??? Does the parallel universe of smartphones and social media hijack our brains?

I was once asked whether my job made me "happy." And if not, why was I doing it? At the time I worked in a regulatory/law enforcement type role, so no the job didn't make me happy. But it was incredibly satisfying...... The person asking me was really surprised as they'd never thought of that as a motivation before- and was confused when I pointed out that happiness is shallow and transient, but satisfaction runs deep and is sustaining.

Do we inculcate our next generation to chase happiness- or satisfaction? Do we help them learn the resiliance to achieve satisfaction- or wrap them in cotton wool so they can be happy?

Thoughts on a postcard (well another post) please.......

GC

 

[Chris]

Not just kids. We coddle everyone too much.

I saw something posted online the other day about a WW2 documentary and they wrote ‘H*tler’, as in they felt the need to censor the word ‘Hitler’ as if that somehow makes him less offensive a concept. Apparently TikTok and the like will remove things if you say words they deem as ‘offensive’. It has lead to doublespeak such as ‘unalive’ rather than ‘die’ and other things you may see used online.

So our language is being moderated by the CCP. Brilliant.

Honestly I am completely done with it, and I feel somewhat childish about how contrarian it makes me want to be sometimes. I just can’t abide it and feel very strongly that if we let it happen, it’ll continue down a very bad path indeed.

 

[John Fenna]

Yes! The world is "reality averse" - which IMHO will lead to great trauma when reality bites!

 

[TeeDee]

Following on from a thread in the Homestead forum.....

Do we coddle kids too much?

I guess it s a bit wider than that, and more about trying to pack kids (and young adults) in cotton wool so they never experience any "bad things" whether that be a hurty word, experience of nature red in tooth and claw or perhaps even any boundaries?

I am of the view that there is a big strand of that in society these days. Partly due to a fear of things, but perhaps also a fear of failure. To grow, we need to fail. To love, we will end up grieving. But society seems to want "happiness" without the rest of it. Maybe we are too interested in "stuff" and not on the wonderful world around us??? Does the parallel universe of smartphones and social media hijack our brains?

I was once asked whether my job made me "happy." And if not, why was I doing it? At the time I worked in a regulatory/law enforcement type role, so no the job didn't make me happy. But it was incredibly satisfying...... The person asking me was really surprised as they'd never thought of that as a motivation before- and was confused when I pointed out that happiness is shallow and transient, but satisfaction runs deep and is sustaining.

Do we inculcate our next generation to chase happiness- or satisfaction? Do we help them learn the resiliance to achieve satisfaction- or wrap them in cotton wool so they can be happy?

Thoughts on a postcard (well another post) please.......

GC

Not just Kids.

But thats the society we have created for ourselves.

 

[Bhod]

I heard a female complaining about female sanitary products, condoms etc being at "eye" level, she didn't think it right that her young son should be exposed to such things at such an early age.....

 

[TeeDee]

Not just kids. We coddle everyone too much.

I saw something posted online the other day about a WW2 documentary and they wrote ‘H*tler’, as in they felt the need to censor the word ‘Hitler’ as if that somehow makes him less offensive a concept. Apparently TikTok and the like will remove things if you say words they deem as ‘offensive’. It has lead to doublespeak such as ‘unalive’ rather than ‘die’ and other things you may see used online.

So our language is being moderated by the CCP. Brilliant.

Honestly I am completely done with it, and I feel somewhat childish about how contrarian it makes me want to be sometimes. I just can’t abide it and feel very strongly that if we let it happen, it’ll continue down a very bad path indeed.

This application of IT / AI whatever it is , does concern me greatly - The person asking the question will get a skewed and mixed response dictated by the morality and political leanings or interpretations of another.

There was a certain high profile open forum platform that had a very obvious bias to it.
" Fact checking" seems to be somewhat interpretative - but it didn't seem to allow for what should be free speech.

 

[Toddy]

I don't think we 'coddle' them so much as that we have to accept that they're growing up in a very different world to the one we did.

Physical punishment was common in schools....physical punishment of children and animals was common.

It's neither common, acceptable, or legal, nowadays. Indeed every single teacher I had would have been in jail for child abuse. Yet these were upstanding, educated and 'decent' people.

I grew up in an area where the attitude was, 'Hit me and I'll hit you back harder', in a country who's national motto is Nemo me impune lacessit......no one provokes me with impunity... that can really be translated as, "Try it!".
It wasn't really conducive to pacifism

As for the social opprobriums, the disconnect from the natural world, from the reality of food production...yep, there are generations who are utterly divorced from reality.

We used to teach our children to look for the agenda behind the propaganda. Nowadays they're taught to believe whatever mince comes up on their phones

Thing is though; humanity is the ultimate (well, at present) predator on the planet. There's nothing we haven't been able to kill.....even rats, just look at Woody Girls's photos
One way or t'other our adaptability seems infinite, and relearning old skills is well within our means.

It's just a different world to the one we remember.

 

[HorseGuy]

Do we coddle the kids too much these days?

In a word. Yes.
But it is just one of several side-effects which stem from us living through the fourth stage of the multi-generation long empire cycle which we are in.

“Hard times create strong people.
Strong people create good times.
Good times create weak people.
Weak people create hard times.”

You have probably heard this famous saying which describes the four basic stages of the multi-generation long empire cycle which has been repeating over and over throughout history for thousands of years.

 

[HorseGuy]

Do we coddle kids

CODDLE!

Hopefully you ment tp say 'mollycoddle' rather than "coddle" which has a very different meaning indeed!

I'm no parenting expert but the Iast time I checked cooking children in water just below the boiling point is generally frowned upon.

 

[Glow_worm]

It has lead to doublespeak such as ‘unalive’ rather than ‘die’ and other things you may see used online.

Probably a separate discussion, but I can't stand the Victorian hangover we have with euphemisms around death. Especially the internet era term 'passing' which sounds like a bowel movement.

What's wrong with the truth? I'm going to die. My loved ones are going to die. We're all going to die. Erm it's a fact of life, and avoiding the word doesn't bring immortality.

I heard a female complaining about female sanitary products, condoms etc being at "eye" level, she didn't think it right that her young son should be exposed to such things at such an early age.....

That would be where basic parenting skills need to kick in: "You'll learn about that when you're a bit older".

 

[C_Claycomb]

CODDLE!

Hopefully you ment tp say 'mollycoddle' rather than "coddle" which has a very different meaning indeed!

I'm no parenting expert but the Iast time I checked cooking children in water just below the boiling point is generally frowned upon.

Most dictionaries today have separate definitions for coddle vs mollycoddle and if I were to choose one for the correct one in this conversation, it would be “coddle”.
For origins, 16thC coddle was cooking gently. By early 19thC it had come to mean treat gently. Consensus is that the molly part came from 18thC slang referring to an effeminate gay man. So perhaps on that basis you would not want to say you mollycoddle children…

 

[Chris]

CODDLE!

Hopefully you ment tp say 'mollycoddle' rather than "coddle" which has a very different meaning indeed!

I'm no parenting expert but the Iast time I checked cooking children in water just below the boiling point is generally frowned upon.

coddle

1. to cook food, especially eggs, in water just below boiling temperature: 2…

dictionary.cambridge.org

coddle​

to protect someone or something too much:
The steel industry is coddled by tradeprotection and massive subsidies.

Although sometimes the definition you’ve used is tempting!

 

[C_Claycomb]

I am in mind of my former neighbours, who had three kids, and filled their garden with plastic climbing frames and more balls than I could count. The two boys (8ish yo) were football mad, and were always out there blasting balls in all directions. They treated all the toys as trash, and balls were fungible. I asked the young father since it seemed to me that the kids were spoiled, not coming to value the stuff they had because they were given so much. He said that he had had a much poorer upbringing and wanted his kids to have what he had not.
Right there, I think, is part of the answer.

 

[HorseGuy]

I asked the young father since it seemed to me that the kids were spoiled, not coming to value the stuff they had because they were given so much. He said that he had had a much poorer upbringing and wanted his kids to have what he had not.
Right there, I think, is part of the answer.

Hard times create strong people... The father
Good times create weak people... The children

The father grew up in hard times which likely made him a stronger person who learned to work hard and to respect and value the things earned through graft allowing him to create his own good times as a result.

On the other hand those children who are being handed everything on a plate now will likely grow up to be weak adults later on and create their own bad times as a result.

 

[Toddy]

or, they could grow up to be happy, productive and actively engaged members of society without the burden of poverty making them over compensate.

It's not that they don't value anything, but they're placing no value on 'stuff'.

 

[TeeDee]

or, they could grow up to be happy, productive and actively engaged members of society without the burden of poverty making them over compensate.

It's not that they don't value anything, but they're placing no value on 'stuff'.

So why is that ? can you identify it? and then how do you stop it ? ( respectfully )

 

[Pattree]

I’m a Grampa.
I had only a vague idea about the world that my children were growing up into. I am clueless about my grand children’s various and very disparate cultures.
I’m certainly not going to judge them by my 20th Century ethics.

This is no longer my world. Only if asked will I try and advise and then always state my limitations.

Edited to add:
I am very concerned about the age and ethics of the four world leaders and the values that they are prioritising. They have nothing to do with the culture of the new adult and child population.

It’s they who are over protected rather than the children!

 

[grainweevil]

I do worry about wrapping children in cotton wool. Childhood is the safest place to make mistakes, because there's lots of people looking out for you (or should be). And you need to make mistakes to improve your ability to judge what you can and can't safely do when there isn't someone around to look out for you. i.e. When you're an adult. Although there seems to be a steady drive to infantilise adults, so maybe we'll just all be cotton-wooled from cradle to grave. That should do wonders for innovation and creativity in future populations...

 

[Chris]

I’m a Grampa.
I had only a vague idea about the world that my children were growing up into. I am clueless about my grand children’s various and very disparate cultures.
I’m certainly not going to judge them by my 20th Century ethics.

This is no longer my world. Only if asked will I try and advise and then always state my limitations.

Edited to add:
I am very concerned about the age and ethics of the four world leaders and the values that they are prioritising. They have nothing to do with the culture of the new adult and child population.

It’s they who are over protected rather than the children!

I always found it interesting when I was 18 how all the newspapers/my parents and their friends were blaming me and people my age for credit card use increasing so heavily amongst my age group - as if it was the 18 year olds who were running the banks sending out letters to people who turned 18 offering ridiculous amounts of credit.

I admit I can’t recall everything about being 18, but I don’t think that I’d had the opportunity to set up the entire financial sector just to trap my peers into debt by that age.

 

[Pattree]

That should do wonders for innovation and creativity in future populations...

Have you ever watched an eight year old designing with Minecraft.

My science teacher daughter wanted to give a student 150% for designing an interactive periodic table with Minecraft.