Dealing with loneliness on a solo trip?

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GGTBod

Bushcrafter (boy, I've got a lot to say!)
Mar 28, 2014
3,209
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I used to love eating the special fungi and spending a few hours in a sensory deprivation float tank, talk about know thyself
 

Joonsy

Native
Jul 24, 2008
1,483
3
UK
I'm really enjoying this thread. A group of self confessed loners.emoting on why we are so. Like Joonsy said I found on the horrible management course that there is a loudmouth. Found that during the course of those though.quiet myself that I ended up leading them ... Though often from behind. Like on company management I found that though I wasn't the.bombastic one it was me that ended up in front. A bit like thw tortoise I suppose. Slow but sure. My credo is honest and sure and it does often win out in the end.

Yes loudmouths usually get found out in the end Goatboy, the story of the tortoise and the hare is an apt description. Your case in point is a good example. ATB :)
 

Robson Valley

Full Member
Nov 24, 2014
9,959
2,664
McBride, BC
Keep busy, even with the smallest things. I rarely travel without a sketch book & pencil (NO eraser). Knocked the dust off a smallish
watercolor paint kit, just paper & paints. Making simple brushes from green twigs is a challenge!
 

oldtimer

Full Member
Sep 27, 2005
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Oxfordshire and Pyrenees-Orientales, France
The mystics and hermits sought solitude for a good reason: it enables one to think away from the distractions that other people bring. Many cultures sent their young men into the wild to learn about themselves- to get to know themselves rather than their relationships with others.

In my professional life I suffered from too much intrusion into my inner self by other people making demands on my attention all the time- what a colleague describe as the opposite of loneliness- we should have a word for it. I quiet moment became a much appreciated treat. I'm gregarious and enjoy the company of my family and many friends and am active in two communities, so I'm not a mysoginistic loner, but being alone can make a valuable counterpoint that helps one to appreciate society.

Leave the radio behind- it weighs too much anyway. Enjoy the solitude, listen to your thoughts, get to know the inside of your headf: you may find a great new individual in there.
 
Apr 25, 2012
161
0
Wolverhampton
One thing I do wonder about is the "need for noise". People who must have music or TV or radio on all the time.

A totally quiet house, a log fire and a good book is a lovely thing, preferably for several hours.

I'm one of these people lol! My mr's always says that I have a problem of not being able to switch off, I'm always on the go, always listening to something, always taking on information. I've recently started to try meditated to try just listen to my own thoughts, it's difficult!
 

Jack Bounder

Nomad
Dec 7, 2014
479
1
Dorset
I've spent relatively long periods on my own (in the past) and undertaken many long solo trips in the wilds, especially in Scotland. I've also taken trips with a companion. Personally, I like sharing the experience with someone else. It's nice to discuss the highlights of the day while sitting round a fire. However, the choice has often been, go on your own or not at all....so I've gone on my own. The best thing about solo trips (for me) is the lack of compromise....you do what you want, when you want. I guess worst thing is the need to be that little bit more careful...no-one will be there to help you out (although I guess mobile phones have done to much to help in this regards).

A small radio is a nice idea. I like Radio 4. That said, I like the feeling of not knowing what's going on in the world.
 

John Fenna

Lifetime Member & Maker
Oct 7, 2006
23,106
2,833
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Pembrokeshire
Solo trips are the best!
A time to get your head together with no one else to interfere.:)
When my Mother died I had the opportunity to disappear for a couple of weeks and went on a solo trip in North Wales. I got myself into a better place easily.
When my Father died I could not get away and fell into a deep Clinical Depression....
Solo is good - even for a bloke like me who enjoys company :)
I used to do lots of solo long distance hiking and found it the best way to travel.
I learned of "The Cinema of the Mind" which is better entertainment than any electronic gizmo :D
 

Harvestman

Bushcrafter through and through
May 11, 2007
8,656
26
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Pontypool, Wales, Uk
I haven't read all of the above threads.

I go out seeking solitude, so I do a lot on my own. I actively avoid groups if I can. I know that as a loner If someone said to me "Just go, and embrace the group experience" I would find it next to impossible (I've tried) and such advixce would be useless to me. Therefgore I imagine that telling a sociable person to "embrance the loneliness" is equally useless.

One thing I do find though is that after my trip I am always keen to tell others all about my adventures and experiences. Perhaps something you could do on a solo trip would be to take a notepad and record your activities, and prepare the stories that you will tell your friends on your return. Even better would be a voice recorder so you can speak aloud whilst you do stuff, which would offset some of the isolation that you might feel, or even to video yourself with camera or phone, so that you feel that you have an audience. I know if I am preparing for giving a talk or presentation I will rehearse it aloud whilst I am alone, as if I had an audience in front of me. That, plus your music, might help. Imagination can be your friend here. instead of thinking about your isolation, pretend you have people with you. There's no-one there to see you so who cares if you look a little mad or feel a little silly? If it helps, go for it.

Finally, if you have mobile phone signal, you can text or even phone, so you are no longer as cut off as people used to be.
 

Gray

Full Member
Sep 18, 2008
2,091
10
Scouser living in Salford South UK
You got to get into it, detach yourself and remind yourself why your there. Keep busy, shelter building, watching wildlife, fire prep or a good book. Enjoy the peace and quiet, the birds singing, the fire crackling, the different sounds and smells, become part of it as one.
 
Apr 12, 2014
476
2
middle earth
interesting thread this. here's my tuppence.....

These days people are so often in contact with others, via technology. mobile phones, forums, facebook and the like have set our minds to constant chatting and updating. this has focussed our minds on mandatory communication. we now feel obliged to communicate, frequently.

i like to get away on solo trips. it clears my mind. i travel from place to place, stopping if i want to, having a brew, watching the wild life. i have no need to 'get somewhere'. the pace is slow. i take my phone for picture taking and emergencies only.

i am at peace when going solo. im a social person, i like a chat and that but being inside my own head without distraction is very theraputic. if anyone were worried about being alone, rather than going out solo, try this:

leave yr phone at home. do not watch tv or listen to the radio. do not use the internet. for one 24hr period. if you cant get past that, without itching for yr phone, facebook or the tv, have a serious think about it!
 

bivouac

Forager
Jan 30, 2010
234
2
Three Counties
Fascinating thread.

I've recently started to try meditated to try just listen to my own thoughts, it's difficult!

As i understand it, there are two differing approaches to meditation. One is to focus the mind (listen to your thoughts) and one is to empty your mind (to have no thought) and whereas to listen to your thoughts may prove to be difficult, to empty your mind of thought is impossible - or so it seems. :)

People have pointed out that there is no such thing as silence in nature - there is always something going on, even at a microscopic level, and nature is always busy. An interesting question is whether one's mind can find silence. Mrs Bivouac is one who has to have input at a regular rate - radio 4 is always on in the house - whereas i am the one who will sit in the garden listening to the wind rustling the spring leaves. She will often accuse me of being lazy - but that's just because she meditates in a different way from myself! :) But i find i need to get away from the noise of living in the world by taking myself off and getting a little quiet time on my own. It doesn't always take much - just an hour in a country church helps - but a weekend's solitude somewhere on my own is priceless.
 

Quixoticgeek

Full Member
Aug 4, 2013
2,483
23
Europe
I can relate to what you're saying. I have music or the radio or iplayer on most of the time (I'm listening to the News Quiz Extra as I write this...).

On some trips I've found that listening to podcasts is really good to help my sanity. BBC produce some good podcasts (Friday Night Comedy, Costing the Earth, Inside Science, Women's Hour etc...). I also am a big fan of No Such Thing as a Fish, and the The Outdoors Station.

Alternatively I keep myself company by swearing/talking to myself... such as as I pushed my bike up a hill in Luxembourg there was a lot of "Julia, you're a bloody moron, pay attention to the contours damnit..." and words to that effect... Kept me going for hours...

J
 

Quixoticgeek

Full Member
Aug 4, 2013
2,483
23
Europe
Oh, just to add, Audio books are great too. If you can get hold of the audio book version of "Last Chance to see" by Douglas Adams and Mark Cawardine, I can highly recommend it...

J
 

Bluffer

Nomad
Apr 12, 2013
464
0
North Yorkshire
Using a radio/audiobook, you are filling the gap.

So, in effect, your overnight solo trips haven't exposed you to solitude.

Try a solo overnighter (24 hours) totally offline - no mobile phone, no radio, no kindle, no MP3.

I use a radio and single earpiece to isolate myself in shared accommodation, or to fill the gap on solo overnight trips (mainly work).

But I've recently been doing up to 18-24 hours almost totally isolated and it requires 'emotional management' which is a hard skill to pick up without totally isolating yourself.
 

Bluffer

Nomad
Apr 12, 2013
464
0
North Yorkshire
When you isolate yourself totally, time takes on a different meaning as well.

You will probably find yourself less occupied with what your watch is telling you, and more appreciation of the subtle daily changes in the environment - patterns of life in animals and birds, daylight and darkness transition, etc.
 
Nov 29, 2004
7,808
22
Scotland
"...You will probably find yourself less occupied with what your watch is telling you, and more appreciation of the subtle daily changes in the environment - patterns of life in animals and birds, daylight and darkness transition, etc..."

+1 to this. :)
 

mrcharly

Bushcrafter (boy, I've got a lot to say!)
Jan 25, 2011
3,257
44
North Yorkshire, UK
I admire the fortitude of adventurers like Sara Outen (http://www.sarahouten.com/blog/). Months at a time alone. Being out on the ocean, that's really alone. The solo racing yacht sailors ditto.

Like people here have said, it is rare to be alone in the wild. I prefer walking by myself. Then I get a chance to sit in quiet with the wildlife. Sit quiet and it is amazing how quickly you are accepted, then there is a whole story happening in front of you, a live movie.
 

ateallthepies

Native
Aug 11, 2011
1,558
0
hertfordshire
I am with you on the alone vs lonely thing, two separate things for me as well. I'm very comfortable in my own company but also love my circle of friends when together.

I take my iPad most places which is full of films and music and books I like so I'm never without something to do. I do like a constant noise to drown out my Tinitus and I often fall asleep with my ear phones in while listening to something plus I can't hear the bigfoots throwing stuff at my tent!!
 

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