Dealing with loneliness on a solo trip?

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Apr 25, 2012
161
0
Wolverhampton
Ok so I've done a few solo overnighters, I love the idea of total solitude and being completely self reliant and one with nature. So I've been wanted to do a several day solo trip for a while now and have finally got round to setting a date.

My only issue being, I am a incredible social person, I don't do particularly well in my own thoughts, so much so I have music playing through majority of my day to day life, even on single overnighters I get a bit lonely, so I'm a bit worried I'm going to go bat **** crazy aha!

So my question is does anyone else have this issue? Any tips to get used to solitude? As i really do love the idea of it I would really like to be able to do several week trips solo!

Lets see what you got :D

Brian.
 

TeeDee

Full Member
Nov 6, 2008
10,447
3,652
50
Exeter
I'd suggest embracing the solitude , you may find it a useful experience. And I'm pretty sure you will meet a few people on the way anyway.
 

GGTBod

Bushcrafter (boy, I've got a lot to say!)
Mar 28, 2014
3,209
26
1
I don't have the same problem as you except the odd moments of fleeting loneliness when out there alone, it's usually when doing something like foraging or sitting around the fire or cooking, i always put this down to i've associated these times for our ancestors as genuine moments of heavy social interaction in their groups, so i kinda remind myself of this in comparison to the modern day version of socialising especially the digital side of it and this makes me embrace my solitude and appreciate it as a golden moment to be enjoyed which chases the fleeting loneliness away. I prefer solo trips but i've often thought it would be cool to have a dog at these times.
 

Twodogs

Bushcrafter through and through
Nov 16, 2008
5,302
67
West Midland
www.facebook.com
As as been said embrace it and learn from it ...

keep your self busy with tasks and forward planning , relax and enjoy ..

An planning is yours and yours alone ,,,,fantastic

I always enjoyed solo trips

 

Goatboy

Full Member
Jan 31, 2005
14,956
17
Scotland
I'm maybe not the best to ask on this subject. I kind've revel in solitude. When doing reasearch I spent a lot of time alone in the middle of nowhere. Didn't see folk for extended periods. Did make me a bit at odds when I went to town for supplies. I just imerssed myself in work and books, like I did as a kid. Folk as if I get lonely but I dont. My partner lives in another time zone on the other side of the world. We see each other once a year when we're lucky. Also living in a rural settimg if I don't want to see folk I don't have too. Don't get me wrong I like folk. In my last job I was in retail so I had to enjoy and be good with people.
I did find it odd on my last visit to hospital as folk touched me. Even though I have friends I can go for a year at a time with no physical contact. In the hospital I found it ... Odd the unasked for casual contact that happens there. A couple of the nurses talked about it and how jumpy I was.
I'm not awkward around folk, fairly good at reading them and enjoy the interaction. But give me a good book and these days Radio 4 and I'm pretty happy between the times I see my girlfriend.
As to how others deal with being alone? A good book, a project, I dont know. I just get lost in my senses and enjoy what surounds me. If you immerse yourself you can get lost in the sensual pleasure of it all.

Sent via smoke-signal from a woodland in Scotland.
 
Apr 25, 2012
161
0
Wolverhampton
I don't have the same problem as you except the odd moments of fleeting loneliness when out there alone, it's usually when doing something like foraging or sitting around the fire or cooking, i always put this down to i've associated these times for our ancestors as genuine moments of heavy social interaction in their groups, so i kinda remind myself of this in comparison to the modern day version of socialising especially the digital side of it and this makes me embrace my solitude and appreciate it as a golden moment to be enjoyed which chases the fleeting loneliness away. I prefer solo trips but i've often thought it would be cool to have a dog at these times.

I particularly enjoy this reply bro, I think its a good point, of when you get lonely just think its a rare occasion you actually get the time to spend truly alone, so just embrace it as in not long at all you'll be back in society!
 

Goatboy

Full Member
Jan 31, 2005
14,956
17
Scotland
I particularly enjoy this reply bro, I think its a good point, of when you get lonely just think its a rare occasion you actually get the time to spend truly alone, so just embrace it as in not long at all you'll be back in society!

Yup on you with that. A lovely, erudite reply that emotes im the right places. I especially get the dog bit at the end. My last dog was the closest thing to me. We melded. Shareing life in the woods with a good mut is very special. A well phrased piece that I'll be saving and quoting.

Sent via smoke-signal from a woodland in Scotland.
 

GGTBod

Bushcrafter (boy, I've got a lot to say!)
Mar 28, 2014
3,209
26
1
I think i have mentioned on this site beforehand that i sometimes get so immersed in the solitude i have difficulty adjusting back to city life when it is over, it all seems so loud and smelly and in your face i experience a sort of sensory overload and it usually takes me about a week to readjust, we slightly evolved apes are funny creatures that's for sure.
 

Joonsy

Native
Jul 24, 2008
1,483
3
UK
Loneliness for me is not defined by being alone (aloneness which is different to loneliness) but by whether I am content, for instance I can be very lonely in a large group of people if they have a different mind set to mine, but alone in the countryside I never feel lonely. I have lived on my own for many years now and rarely integrate with other people, I used to when I was younger but age has seen friends pass away and I have now lived a solitary life for years, this forum is about as social as I get. I am not unsociable it’s just that I am comfortable with not having people around me. This inevitably leads to accusations that there is something wrong with me from other people. After a long period of being alone going in to towns and supermarkets can be an overwhelming experience, somehow I feel lost in a fog of noise and I feel awkward in speaking like I have forget how to talk or something, it’s a suffocating claustrophobic feeling and i feel like i really stand out from the crowd but of course i don’t. And another thing that irritates me is how people always hug each other nowadays when they meet, I just find it over the top, I greet people with nothing more than a handshake and feel really uncomfortable when someone wants to hug me just to say hello. I have found in groups there is usually one person that speaks louder than anyone else, and everyone seems to end up doing what that person wants. Being alone really liberates you to do exactly what you want without compromise, occasionally you get moments that are really overwhelming in their simple contentment like everything is perfect, I am not religious at all but such fleeting moments are almost like a spiritual feeling of complete harmony, you can’t plan for them they just happen, and they always happen when you are on your own. Another thing most people can’t keep quiet for more than thirty seconds, when people are together they feel a need to constantly talk, it doesn’t matter what they are talking about just as long as they are talking, I personally find that irritating. I think it was Bill Tilman, though it may have been Wilfred Thesiger, that said the true meaning of compatible relationships is if you can sit in the same room with another person and still feel comfortable when you don't talk. These days I am so comfortable in my own company to the extent that I often avoid the company of others, however I would say to others who feel lonely and miserable when alone to not fight it and just be happy with who yuo are, if you prefer company then why make yourself unhappy, and there lies the secret. ---- What I have found is that contentment comes from the realisation of what you want from life, then sticking to it and not living life as other people expect you to, not as easy as it sounds because people will try to get you to live to their expectations not your’s. ATB :)
 

Bishop

Full Member
Jan 25, 2014
1,716
691
Pencader
It is is said that if you leave somebody on their own long enough they'll beat themselves up.

Thankfully I've found between wanderlust and the fact there's always something to be done around camp tends to focus the mind onto the more immediate needs.
Of course for some that's not enough, keeping a journal helps and the benefits of catharsis (basically spilling your guts on paper) should never be underestimated.
I've known some folk keep these personal reflections whilst others burn them before setting off for home but if nothing else it gets you out of the habit of talking to yourself.

If you just need a gentle reassurance that the world has not ended whilst you're out & about then a radio is a must,
audio books can also be a good substitute for a travelling companion. (Check out Librivox.org for free ones)
Electronics & Bushcraft mind you are a bit of an odd couple and I am sorely tempted to dig out my old soldering iron to make a crystal radio.
 

British Red

M.A.B (Mad About Bushcraft)
Dec 30, 2005
26,709
1,947
Mercia
Well said Joonsy. This last Winter I spent most days without seeing another person. Loved it.

Some people need validation from a group, others are happiest in their own space. I love to be alone with my thoughts and whatever project I am working on. Often this is in silence, sometimes with a radio play or book.

If you like people, go with people, but if someone likes their solitude, let them enjoy it.
 

Joonsy

Native
Jul 24, 2008
1,483
3
UK
Well said Joonsy. This last Winter I spent most days without seeing another person. Loved it.

Some people need validation from a group, others are happiest in their own space. I love to be alone with my thoughts and whatever project I am working on. Often this is in silence, sometimes with a radio play or book.

If you like people, go with people, but if someone likes their solitude, let them enjoy it.


Thankyou British Red :) people should just be content with who they are, the grass is not always greener on the other side and another persons shoes never fit as well as your own, I think a lot of unhappiness comes from people trying to conform to other peoples expectations. ATB.
 

Goatboy

Full Member
Jan 31, 2005
14,956
17
Scotland
I'm really enjoying this thread. A group of self confessed loners.emoting on why we are so. Like Joonsy said I found on the horrible management course that there is a loudmouth. Found that during the course of those though.quiet myself that I ended up leading them ... Though often from behind. Like on company management I found that though I wasn't the.bombastic one it was me that ended up in front. A bit like thw tortoise I suppose. Slow but sure. My credo is honest and sure and it does often win out in the end.

Sent via smoke-signal from a woodland in Scotland.
 

British Red

M.A.B (Mad About Bushcraft)
Dec 30, 2005
26,709
1,947
Mercia
One thing I do wonder about is the "need for noise". People who must have music or TV or radio on all the time.

A totally quiet house, a log fire and a good book is a lovely thing, preferably for several hours.
 
Maybe the true meaning of life is to be content with your own company, without desperate need for other humans? That way you know you can really survive on your own - and not just for a couple of days.

Up north here many of the hunters spend weeks out alone on traplines and hunting trips. Sometimes with dogs/sleds or just a noisy skidoo.

But you are never alone. Around you is a wealth of insects, birds, animals and insects. There is plenty to watch and listen to. The wilderness is rarely if ever silent and rarely still. Something no matter how small is moving.

I feel lonely only in big cities like Toronto and like in York when I came over to the UK. Many, many people but no one stops to talk, to say hello or pass the time. Everyone walks around and you may aswell be invisible. That is being lonely and alone!
 

rik_uk3

Banned
Jun 10, 2006
13,320
24
69
south wales
One thing I do wonder about is the "need for noise". People who must have music or TV or radio on all the time.

A totally quiet house, a log fire and a good book is a lovely thing, preferably for several hours.

A log fire is noise

A good book is noise in your head as you read

We all find noise from various sources, don't knock it or those who seek other sources.
 

Goatboy

Full Member
Jan 31, 2005
14,956
17
Scotland
Maybe the true meaning of life is to be content with your own company, without desperate need for other humans? That way you know you can really survive on your own - and not just for a couple of days.

Up north here many of the hunters spend weeks out alone on traplines and hunting trips. Sometimes with dogs/sleds or just a noisy skidoo.

But you are never alone. Around you is a wealth of insects, birds, animals and insects. There is plenty to watch and listen to. The wilderness is rarely if ever silent and rarely still. Something no matter how small is moving.

I feel lonely only in big cities like Toronto and like in York when I came over to the UK. Many, many people but no one stops to talk, to say hello or pass the time. Everyone walks around and you may aswell be invisible. That is being lonely and alone!

For me being alone was a good thing. The noise.of the.animals in the northern woods.was.wonderfull. Believe it or not I've been in woods where an infestation of moths was a tangible sound. Drowning everything else out. My moment of solitude was.in the.desert. A true dark sky place. Stars like could only.be viewed through bad CGI. Shooting stars and satalites whizzing overhead. One thing that.did amaze me was the noise. Hundreds of miles from people. But.things.were.screaming, killing.and eating each other. Laying on top of a 4x4 in the primal sands wasn't a quiet thing. I was alone with the stars but life was as they say."red in tooth and claw" around me.
There are rooms that cancel out noise. But being in a sensory dep tank was a totally different thing. Not as good as the desert which gave an illusion to the universe but a mind twitch all the same.

Sent via smoke-signal from a woodland in Scotland.
 

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