In this day and age of skills and history being lost or dying out is there something you wish you'd learnt from a relative or even someone you worked with etc?
What do you wish you learnt from a relative?
- Thread starter Mesquite
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I sorely wish I had spent more time with my maternal grandfather - a carpenter, an outdoorsman, a sea angler, a competition rifle shooter, a hunter, a poacher and, to be honest, a bit of a dark horse. He died when I was 21 and long before I realised I didn't know everything 
The list of things I could have learnt from him is endless.
The list of things I could have learnt from him is endless.
Well a lot about who those people in the family photographs were I learned what I could off my mum and dad, who were not necessarily the best teachers, but looking at the skills of my forebears, I could have learned a lot from my grandfather who was shoemaker, (I have his last) who unfortunately died before I was born. I think I could have learned a bit more about the culinary arts from my mum. My dad taught me carpentry, ( I was considered so incompetent I was excused woodwork lessons at school)
I did enjoy practicing photography with my dad, you know the old fashioned way, darkroom and all we used to cycle out together, take pictures, enjoy a few pints in country pubs, oh those were the days. I wish though I knew as much about gardening and plant identification as he did, it is not that I never knew it, but that he is not there to ask any more.
Amongst the vices that my dad taught me though was making country wines, he would be envious of all my apple trees now
I learned what I could off my mum and dad, who were not necessarily the best teachers, but looking at the skills of my forebears, I could have learned a lot from my grandfather who was shoemaker, (I have his last) who unfortunately died before I was born. I think I could have learned a bit more about the culinary arts from my mum. My dad taught me carpentry, ( I was considered so incompetent I was excused woodwork lessons at school)I did enjoy practicing photography with my dad, you know the old fashioned way, darkroom and all we used to cycle out together, take pictures, enjoy a few pints in country pubs, oh those were the days. I wish though I knew as much about gardening and plant identification as he did, it is not that I never knew it, but that he is not there to ask any more.
Amongst the vices that my dad taught me though was making country wines, he would be envious of all my apple trees now
I wish i had met my paternal grandfather and learnt anything from him.
From my maternal grandfather despite having learnt so much i wish i had learnt more wood working
From my maternal grandmother her assorted recipes for pickles,jams,cakes,pastries etc. How to sew clothing and how to knit
From my paternal frandmother again anything before the dementia got ahold of her when i was too young to learn from her
From my maternal grandfather despite having learnt so much i wish i had learnt more wood working
From my maternal grandmother her assorted recipes for pickles,jams,cakes,pastries etc. How to sew clothing and how to knit
From my paternal frandmother again anything before the dementia got ahold of her when i was too young to learn from her
I would like to have learned more of my Mother's knowledge of natural remedies and treatments for many ailments. She died when I had just turned 9 years of age. She had many skills connected with nature, we were still travelling then and she would make flowers from Elder wood and dye them yellow with onion skins or red with Elderberries. I remember because I used to have the job of stirring the boiling pot..
When I was about 8, my older brother made bows and arrows for my younger brother and me. We were shooting at a corn stook one day and my little brother fired as my older brother retrieved an arrow from the corn stook. The arrow, ( with a 3 inch nail as a point) went through his wrist. We were stopped in a field in the back lanes of Essex at the time, Dad was working on a nearby farm and we were a long way from town, but Mum wouldn't go to a Doctors anyway, so she treated my older brother herself with her own remedies. He healed up in a week or so, or at least he could use his hand helping Dad lay some hedging on a farm.
About 3 years later, Mum was dead, I had been captured and made to start school and my older brother had been 'called up' (conscription) for the Army. At his medical the Army Doctor mentioned a gun shot wound and asked when he had been shot through the wrist ( my brother had a round white scar where a watch strap would normally be) When my brother told the Doctor about the scar being an arrow wound he was told " Nonsense, you must have had surgery for that injury, which hospital did you attend? " And to the day he was demobbed they never believed him...
When I was about 8, my older brother made bows and arrows for my younger brother and me. We were shooting at a corn stook one day and my little brother fired as my older brother retrieved an arrow from the corn stook. The arrow, ( with a 3 inch nail as a point) went through his wrist. We were stopped in a field in the back lanes of Essex at the time, Dad was working on a nearby farm and we were a long way from town, but Mum wouldn't go to a Doctors anyway, so she treated my older brother herself with her own remedies. He healed up in a week or so, or at least he could use his hand helping Dad lay some hedging on a farm.
About 3 years later, Mum was dead, I had been captured and made to start school and my older brother had been 'called up' (conscription) for the Army. At his medical the Army Doctor mentioned a gun shot wound and asked when he had been shot through the wrist ( my brother had a round white scar where a watch strap would normally be) When my brother told the Doctor about the scar being an arrow wound he was told " Nonsense, you must have had surgery for that injury, which hospital did you attend? " And to the day he was demobbed they never believed him...
Despite the best efforts of the Canadian government to crush it, native kids with any talent still get parceled off to relatives for traditional learning.
Everything from cooking to healing to the arts and carving.
Interesting to note that it's almost never some straight-back relative. Normally an aunt or an uncle.
I got lucky and learned a lot from my family. Cooking fish in clay jackets in campfires must be an acquired taste.
Everything from cooking to healing to the arts and carving.
Interesting to note that it's almost never some straight-back relative. Normally an aunt or an uncle.
I got lucky and learned a lot from my family. Cooking fish in clay jackets in campfires must be an acquired taste.
Daddy's engineering knowledge and skills; his bird hunting skill; and his patience. Mama's and my aunts' cooking secrets. My Uncles A.W.''s and Aubrey's truck driving skills with a big rig (and Uncle Aubrey's skill as an aircraft mechanic) Uncle Mac's radio skills (he was a communication officer in the Merchant Marine for decades,including WWII) Daddy's and his generation's ability to farm.
An interesting topic.
As an aside I would say it's not only 'in this day and age' that we are forgetting skills.
That's been going on since humans first learnt to make fire and as new skills and technologies were developed that made old skills unnecessary and redundant.
It is NOT a product of 'this day and age'. I've never got my head around the idea of some past Golden Age or a mythologising of the past.
Anyway.
My grandfather flew a Spitfire in WW2, and it would have been great to have taken flying lessons off him.
I know sweet chaff all about car mechanics and I wish I'd learnt something, from anybody.
I have a very dear friend whose greatest skill is his ability to fit in with whatever situation he is in, to put himself second, and to adapt to the people around him. I dearly wish I could be a bit more like that.
As an aside I would say it's not only 'in this day and age' that we are forgetting skills.
That's been going on since humans first learnt to make fire and as new skills and technologies were developed that made old skills unnecessary and redundant.
It is NOT a product of 'this day and age'. I've never got my head around the idea of some past Golden Age or a mythologising of the past.
Anyway.
My grandfather flew a Spitfire in WW2, and it would have been great to have taken flying lessons off him.
I know sweet chaff all about car mechanics and I wish I'd learnt something, from anybody.
I have a very dear friend whose greatest skill is his ability to fit in with whatever situation he is in, to put himself second, and to adapt to the people around him. I dearly wish I could be a bit more like that.
My nana made the best mushy peas I've ever tasted, I would love to know how she did them. I do know that letting them boil over so that my grandad had to clean the hob was a crucial part of the process. Every Sunday:
"Do you want mushy peas this week?"
"Will I have to clean the cooker?"
"Probably"
"........."
"Well?"
"I do like mushy peas"
"Good, because they just boiled over"
(Sotto voce) "every bloody week"
"I beg your pardon?!"
"Nothing duc, just watching the cricket, you carry on"
I miss them both terribly.
"Do you want mushy peas this week?"
"Will I have to clean the cooker?"
"Probably"
"........."
"Well?"
"I do like mushy peas"
"Good, because they just boiled over"
(Sotto voce) "every bloody week"
"I beg your pardon?!"
"Nothing duc, just watching the cricket, you carry on"
I miss them both terribly.
On another thread we've been discussing good basic skills for domestic life; reading all the above it would appear that one of the things we would all advise younger people to do is learn from your elders! I know, I know, few of us thought it was important when we were young so why should this generation of youngsters think any differently?
I don't know.
I rather want the young to be arrogant and obnoxious and know-all.
Admittedly, I don't want to be on the end of it. But I would be more than just a little disappointed if young people did acquiesce, didn't think they knew better, did as they were told.
I don't have any children. But if I did I would do the responsible parent thing and tell them to study hard, not to cross the road, listen to their elders, do as they are told, etc.
All I know is that I'd be hoping to God they didn't do all those things.
I don't like the archetype/stereotype of the wise elder sagely imparting advice and all the young people sitting at their feet paying attention and taking in the wisdom of the years.
I want them out there, learning for themselves, gaining their own experiences, living life.
The world moves on and becomes a better place because people don't listen and don't do as they're told.
I rather want the young to be arrogant and obnoxious and know-all.
Admittedly, I don't want to be on the end of it. But I would be more than just a little disappointed if young people did acquiesce, didn't think they knew better, did as they were told.
I don't have any children. But if I did I would do the responsible parent thing and tell them to study hard, not to cross the road, listen to their elders, do as they are told, etc.
All I know is that I'd be hoping to God they didn't do all those things.
I don't like the archetype/stereotype of the wise elder sagely imparting advice and all the young people sitting at their feet paying attention and taking in the wisdom of the years.
I want them out there, learning for themselves, gaining their own experiences, living life.
The world moves on and becomes a better place because people don't listen and don't do as they're told.
I agree; if I hadn't been as arrogant, optimistic, and self assured as I was I probably wouldn't have achieved anything. It's just that we've all expressed regret of not spending more time with our elders! A bit of a paradox really
Do you think that it takes being arrogant and cocky to in the end truly value your elders? Sort of like a homecoming when you realise that no matter how hard you tried you couldn't actually reinvent the wheel and that it has all been done before ?
You mean you have to have had the confidence to try in the first place to value how others could have eased the path? I think you're right; I think youngsters should be given opportunity and encouraged to try, not necessarily shown how to do everything or have it done for them. I also believe, within reason, that we all have the same fundamental capability to do things and it's all down to opportunity and encouragement.
I wish I'd listened to my grandparents when they were offering advice and help.
I also wish that I'd learned the carpentry and fishing skills that my Mum's father had, and was keen to pass on to me (I have his fishing gear but need to learn how to use it properly). I wish I'd learned my Dad's father's skills an a precision engineer.
However, it's not all bad - I have learned some excellent knowledge and skills from my parents and grandparents. I learned that you shut up, work hard and keep on getting up when life knocks you down. I learned that life owes you nothing so it's up to you to work hard and try to be a good person that others will value and respect. I learned that you get out what you put in, that having a dog is important, that doing half a job is unpardonable, that you face your responsibilities, that you look after others for their sake rather than your own, that throwing things away rather than repairing them is foolhardy, that we have it so much easier than others, that being outside under the sky is best, that you support your family come hell or high water, that you can learn something from every person you ever meet.
Yes, I missed out on a lot because I was young and knew it all already, but I think that, even if I didn't realise it at the time, I learned far more than I missed.
I also wish that I'd learned the carpentry and fishing skills that my Mum's father had, and was keen to pass on to me (I have his fishing gear but need to learn how to use it properly). I wish I'd learned my Dad's father's skills an a precision engineer.
However, it's not all bad - I have learned some excellent knowledge and skills from my parents and grandparents. I learned that you shut up, work hard and keep on getting up when life knocks you down. I learned that life owes you nothing so it's up to you to work hard and try to be a good person that others will value and respect. I learned that you get out what you put in, that having a dog is important, that doing half a job is unpardonable, that you face your responsibilities, that you look after others for their sake rather than your own, that throwing things away rather than repairing them is foolhardy, that we have it so much easier than others, that being outside under the sky is best, that you support your family come hell or high water, that you can learn something from every person you ever meet.
Yes, I missed out on a lot because I was young and knew it all already, but I think that, even if I didn't realise it at the time, I learned far more than I missed.
Something like that yes. What I experienced when I was young was that I thought I was so cocky, doing things I thought my parents had never done or had no concept of, when actually they had done the same things in their own era, in their own way, and now my children think that they are reinventing the wheel, when I often say to them, "if only you knew what I got up to!" But they cannot be told, they have to get on with it and realise that there's actually nothing new under the sun, and I think once they reach that point, they get to 'value' their elders a whole lot more. They have to make their own mistakes, even though it is (and always will be) the same mistakes that their parents and grandparents made (more or less)!
Thinking back on it, maybe one of the reasons I was extra cocky was because all 4 of my grandparents had died before I was born, so I never had that older generational influence, I never saw or understood what they had 'got up to' in their lives and I never learned any of their wisdom directly, so maybe I had to forge my own way so to speak. I don't know.
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There's a few of my relatives that I wish I could have learned from.
My maternal grandfather was a keen gardener and was pretty much self sufficient during WWII. He was incredibly thrifty and practical, and would never throw anything away (perhaps that's where my wombling tendencies came from). I wish I had even a tiny bit of his plant knowledge.
My paternal grandfather was a bricklayer, but he died before I was born. I would have liked to have learned some of his trade too.
My paternal grandmother, born in 1895, was also incredibly thrifty, and could make a decent meal out of not very much. She wasn't shy of butchery and really did use every part of the pig except the oink.
My dad has a garage full of tools belonging to his dad, his grandad and his great grandad. Mum wants to chuck them out but is under strict orders from me to leave them alone!
My maternal grandfather was a keen gardener and was pretty much self sufficient during WWII. He was incredibly thrifty and practical, and would never throw anything away (perhaps that's where my wombling tendencies came from). I wish I had even a tiny bit of his plant knowledge.
My paternal grandfather was a bricklayer, but he died before I was born. I would have liked to have learned some of his trade too.
My paternal grandmother, born in 1895, was also incredibly thrifty, and could make a decent meal out of not very much. She wasn't shy of butchery and really did use every part of the pig except the oink.
My dad has a garage full of tools belonging to his dad, his grandad and his great grandad. Mum wants to chuck them out but is under strict orders from me to leave them alone!
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