strange but true.............apparently

[m.durston]

Just thought i would share this sad but amusing story my boss told me the other day about a woman his mum knows.

The lady in question was in her 60's when this happened and living in a flat in London.
She happened to live above a gay couple who she got on with very well. The couple downstairs were going on holiday abroad for two weeks and needed someone to look after their dog so they asked the old lady.
She agreed to have the dog in her flat for the two weeks that they were away to save them the cost of putting the dog in kennels.
On the second day of the couples holiday the dog unfortunately died in his sleep so the old lady phones the local vet for advice. The vet informs her that if they come to the flat to collect the dog the cost will be significantly higher than if she brought the dog to them for disposal.
She decides to save the couple some money by taking the dog to the vets herself, but as she doesnt own a car the journey will have to be done on the underground.
Ever the resourceful person the old lady packs up the dead dog in her tartan trolley and sets off for the underground station.
On arrival at the station she struggles to lift the trolley down the stairs and is noticed by a young man who offers to help her.
He helps her onto the train and casually asks her where she is going. She tells him her destination and he replies he is going to the same station so he will help her up the stairs there.
The old lady thanks him for being a good samaritan and strikes up a conversation with the kind young man.
The young man remarks how heavy the tartan trolley is and asks what she has in it. Not wanting to think she was weird the old lady tells him its stereo equipment.
On arrival at the next station the young man grabs the trolley and sprints out of the door and up the platform before she can shout "thief!"
The old lady is now in a bit of a pickle, shes just been robbed so obviously the transport police are wanting know what she had in the trolley to make the young man want to steal it.
She comes clean to the police and explains about the dog dying and that she was taking it to the vets. She also has to tell the police that she told the young man the trolley had stereo equipment in it so he wouldnt thing she was weird.
lucky for her the police saw the funny side but her relationship with the neighbours took a bit of a nosedive after they got back and needless to say she didnt get asked round for a cuppa that often.
The thing that made me laugh about this calamity of errors was the look on the thiefs face when he opened the trolley expecting to see a nice set of sub woofers and instead being greeted with the sight of a dead woofer.......

anyone else got a strange but true story that needs to be shared?

 

[stooboy]

my parenst used to own a newsagent my mum is a bit of a cat person (understament) anyway one of the cats handnt been seen for all of 5 minutes and a lorry driver comes to the shop and says a cats been hit on the road, matching the description of our cat, my mum jumped to the conclusion that it was our cat that she was looking for and i was sent to retrieve the cat, anyway this thing had some bits of ginger and white bits of fluff but for all intents was pancake flat on the tarmac, shoveling up what i could i took it home, when i carried the stinking thing home my mum told me our cat had been shut in the bloody store room all moring and wasnt lost,...

 

[Walks with dogs]

Another transport police one...

Magician on his way to a gig puts his case of tricks down, checks his train time and notices his case gone. So he rings up the BTP. Phone conversation goes like this..

Magician " I'm a magician on my way to a gig and my case has disappeared."
Reply "Is that part of the act?"
Magician " Fxxxx Bxxxking no it pixxxxxg well isnt, and stop laughing!"

My favourite bit, picturing some scallywag pulling all these handkerchiefs , pigeons and flowers out of the case for hours.

 

[firecrest]

Following the `dead animal` theme here, I once read a story in a magazine (and I do hope it's true!) where a man thought he saw a hedgehog in the middle of the road in the dark. He waved a car to stop while he went to move it, and when he got over to it, it was actually a half inflated football. Not wanting to look a prat, he scooped it up in arms, and hiding it from view pretended to place it gently on the grass, then waved the car on by. As the car drove off he gave the football a hefty kick over a wall, and suddenly the car screeched to a halt. A man and a woman got out and shouted expletives at the man calling him a total a****** and a freak. he said he just ran off without explaining!
Id just love to have heard the story repeated by the couple to friends as they would have described how some nutter lovingly rescued a hedgehog , placed at the side of the road and then given it a god almighty kick over a wall, and what is the world coming to, young`uns got no sense of humanity anymore ect ect....

 

[stuart f]

My mothers friend works in an old folks home,and at the end of every week an old gentleman kept giving her a bag of mixed nuts as a thank you for being so good at looking after him,this went on for a couple of months and in the end she said to the old boy that there was no need for his generosity,he said it was no trouble because it was his sister who kept bring them in every time she came to visit him,so they would just be going to waste,plus he said that having no teeth he could'nt eat them anyway,so he just sucked the chocolate first

Apparently her family had been tucking into them for weeks,but when she found out she did'nt have the heart to tell them about it.

Cheers Stuart.