Should I be worried... or excited?

[John Fenna]

This morning the postie brought me a parcel from D Budd esq. hammersmith and knifologist extrordinaire ... I opened it to find a gift - wrapped in the most tasteful of pink and girly paper possible .. and instructions that it is not to be opened until Xmas day.
Now, knowing that DB is a wonderful human being and a gentleman, a scholar, aerchyopterix and all round "good guy", should I be excited to receive a totally unexpected prezzie...
OR
knowing of his other website, the fact that he never exacted revenge for my activities of the 2011 Moot and that he is a fellow with a "robust" humerous streak should I be worried...
OR
is he messing with my head, sending a luverly prezzie and wanting me to get all paranoid about opening the prezzie in front of my 89 year old, straight laced Auntie
OR
is he messing with my head and sending me something outragous and hoping I do open it in rarified company......
OR
but this way madness lies AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!

 

[roger-uk]

This morning the postie brought me a parcel from D Budd esq. hammersmith and knifologist extrordinaire ... I opened it to find a gift - wrapped in the most tasteful of pink and girly paper possible .. and instructions that it is not to be opened until Xmas day.
Now, knowing that DB is a wonderful human being and a gentleman, a scholar, aerchyopterix and all round "good guy", should I be excited to receive a totally unexpected prezzie...
OR
knowing of his other website, the fact that he never exacted revenge for my activities of the 2011 Moot and that he is a fellow with a "robust" humerous streak should I be worried...
OR
is he messing with my head, sending a luverly prezzie and wanting me to get all paranoid about opening the prezzie in front of my 89 year old, straight laced Auntie
OR
is he messing with my head and sending me something outragous and hoping I do open it in rarified company......
OR
but this way madness lies AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!

Its a pink spork - It can be nothing else.

 

[Elen Sentier]

Can't wait for the next episode, John ... better than Twin Peaks

My bag full of prezzies arrived yesterday too, loads of things all wrapped in green-holly-berry paper and all different shapes and sizes, with "safe to open juffy bag" on outside ... :11doh: Does this mean I might blow up, get a party popper in the face, all sorts of crazy gnomes escape, or a big genie materialise, or what ??? The temptation to open is very strong ... I'm resisting well, so far

And I'm not sure who they're from ... and so who to thank

 

[decorum]

Its a pink spork - It can be nothing else.

Excellent fellow that he is, being from Dave Budd it could be a great many things . John knows that Dave has bided his time and is waiting for the opportunity to wreak fun revenge and, quite understandably, John's being very cautious and sage* like in his ponderings .



* Sage, part and parcel of a good stuffing .

 

[Toddy]

I've seen Drew's brooch.......I'd open it in front of the Missus Fenna but not the Auntie Fenna


M

 

[decorum]

I've seen Drew's brooch.......I'd open it in front of the Missus Fenna but not the Auntie Fenna


M

Ah, but Mr. B know's that Mr. F is likely to have guests and as the instruction is to wait 'til Christmas Day but not 'And when you're alone!' it's more likely to aim for a face red from laughter than embarrassment .

This thought is based on knowing that, when opened in company, John will have no recourse but to explain exactly what he did to 'necessitate' the gift .

 

[Toddy]

Yeah, maybe......but Dave has what can be called a robust sense of humour

M

 

[John Fenna]

Its a pink spork - It can be nothing else.

The size of a shoebox?
And I have already had two pink sporks - in pink spork-cases yet! - arrive from the identical twins (though they deny it - but the packing detail implicate them!)
This is a conspiricy to render me insane I tell you!

 

[RonW]

This is a conspiricy to render me insane I tell you!

Seems to work quit well, then....
Only 16 days left, John..... 16 looong days to think, wonder, fantasize and/or worry....

 

[decorum]

...This is a conspiricy to render me insane I tell you!

If it were a conspiracy to render you insane, the trip would be wasted .


I don't think you have anything to fear from opening Dave's present on Christmas Day ~ but are you certain that he hasn't sent a second parcel that you aren't aware of?

 

[John Fenna]

If it were a conspiracy to render you insane, the trip would be wasted .


I don't think you have anything to fear from opening Dave's present on Christmas Day ~ but are you certain that he hasn't sent a second parcel that you aren't aware of?

Wot? eh? Aaaaaaargh!

I am starting to hope that the Mayans were right and the World will end before Xmas day!
Oh - Merry Xmas to everyone ... just in case I do not get to say it again before TEOTWAWKI!

 

[Pandabean]

The size of a shoebox?
And I have already had two pink sporks - in pink spork-cases yet! - arrive from the identical twins (though they deny it - but the packing detail implicate them!)
This is a conspiricy to render me insane I tell you!

Still it could be a giant pink spork?

 

[udamiano]

OOoooo whatever could it be...

 

[Perrari]

If it's from Dave Budd you should be excited !

 

[decorum]

The size of a shoebox?

Still it could be a giant pink spork?

A spork sabre, possibly?

 

[Mesquite]

I'd be worried... very worried indeed

 

[Shambling Shaman]

Only 16 days left

For a running count down goto

http://www.noradsanta.org/en/

but it could be a shoe box full of sporks!!!

 

[abominable_scouse_monster]

[h=1]How to Recognize and Handle a Suspicious Package or Envelope[/h] Between September and October 2001, several letters containing Bacillus anthracis were sent through the mail in several areas of the United States. As a result, CDC developed the following guidelines for recognizing and handling suspicious packages as a result. Although there have been no recent mail-related anthrax exposures, all persons should take appropriate steps to protect themselves and others from exposure to Bacillus anthracis by following these guidelines for recognizing and handling suspicious packages.
[h=2]Identifying Suspicious Packages and Envelopes[/h] Some characteristics of suspicious packages and envelopes include the following:

• Inappropriate or unusual labeling
  • Excessive postage
  • Handwritten or poorly typed addresses
  • Misspellings of common words
  • Strange return address or no return address
  • Incorrect titles or title without a name
  • Not addressed to a specific person
  • Marked with restrictions, such as “Personal,” “Confidential,” or “Do not x-ray”
  • Marked with any threatening language
  • Postmarked from a city or state that does not match the return address
• Appearance
  • Powdery substance felt through or appearing on the package or envelope
  • Oily stains, discolorations, or odor
  • Lopsided or uneven envelope
  • Excessive packaging material such as masking tape, string, etc.
• Other suspicious signs
  • Excessive weight
  • Ticking sound
  • Protruding wires or aluminum foil

If a package or envelope appears suspicious, DO NOT OPEN IT.
[h=2]Handling of Suspicious Packages or Envelopes[/h]

• Do not shake or empty the contents of any suspicious package or envelope.
• Do not carry the package or envelope, show it to others or allow others to examine it.
• Put the package or envelope down on a stable surface; do not sniff, touch, taste, or look closely at it or at any contents which may have spilled.
• Alert others in the area about the suspicious package or envelope. Leave the area, close any doors, and take actions to prevent others from entering the area. If possible, shut off the ventilation system.
• WASH hands with soap and water to prevent spreading potentially infectious material to face or skin. Seek additional instructions for exposed or potentially exposed persons.
• If at work, notify a supervisor, a security officer, or a law enforcement official. If at home, contact the local law enforcement agency.
• If possible, create a list of persons who were in the room or area when this suspicious letter or package was recognized and a list of persons who also may have handled this package or letter. Give this list to both the local public health authorities and law enforcement officials

Nothing about dealing with blade smiths... I don't suppose you have considerd having it x-rayed?

 

[Man of Tanith]

hmmm i'd not worry personally he is a nice guy
who would want to mess with your head john?

 

[John Fenna]

Who would want tomess with my head?!
Men of Evil intent - that is who!
Today the postie brought me yet another pink plastic Sork and pink plasticspork cover
This one had writen on the back of the envelope - as sender - "BushcraftBetty"!
Now I KNOW in my heart of hearts that Betty is a sweet and lovely girl .. shewould never stoop to such lowness as joining in a conspiracy to drive me loopywith the pink plastic perversions known as "Sporks" - so some eviltypes have hijacked her name and reputation to try and put me of their trail!
Just in case it was Betty (not realising she was joining an evil cabal of Sporksending ner-do-wells) who sent the latest PPS I had a glance at the post mark... and found that the stamp had not been franked!
A conspiracy involving the PO now!
Evil men, evil aims and obviously with evil friends!
I dispair!
Soon I will be able to open a shop selling nowt but PPSes
Wibble, wibble, wibble, wibb... but no! Be strong John and stand up to theseevil men! Do not show any weakness!






Mummy!