I dunno what is wrong with me today, I'm feeling a bit weird, it started last night, I don't normally speak my mind around friends but my next-door neighbour came down asking for a cup of coffee. I didn't want to make it for him, he never makes coffee/tea when he comes to visit which is once or twice a day, I don't know what happened but I found myself saying to him, "If you want a cup of coffee you can make it yourself, I'm fed up of doing it" I've mentioned (jokingly) in the past about me making the drinks all the time and he always replies that he won't make drinks at other people's houses.
I started to feel as if he was treating me as a traditional woman, all submissive and acceding to direction and orders which is not me at all and this behaviour was starting to really p*ss me off. The trouble is, I don't verbally stand up for myself most of the time so last night was a revelation, especially when he actually did make the coffee.
Today thinking back to last night I feel better about standing up for myself, but on the otherhand a little scared about it as well, it seems as if it's a huge change from my normal behaviour. I feel freer and more in control but at the same time, very off balance and confused.
I tend to be what people expect of me, I don't know but I think it's part of my aspie nature, the problem comes when after the initial small talk and social pleasantries I start to slip back into who I actually am and I don't think that person is particularly nice, I base this on a few long term friendships I have had, where after a year or so, the 'real me' starts coming through and it starts to make them not like me.
I have no reason in writing this, I guess I just needed to think that someone knows how I'm feeling at the moment.
Thank you
I started to feel as if he was treating me as a traditional woman, all submissive and acceding to direction and orders which is not me at all and this behaviour was starting to really p*ss me off. The trouble is, I don't verbally stand up for myself most of the time so last night was a revelation, especially when he actually did make the coffee.
Today thinking back to last night I feel better about standing up for myself, but on the otherhand a little scared about it as well, it seems as if it's a huge change from my normal behaviour. I feel freer and more in control but at the same time, very off balance and confused.
I tend to be what people expect of me, I don't know but I think it's part of my aspie nature, the problem comes when after the initial small talk and social pleasantries I start to slip back into who I actually am and I don't think that person is particularly nice, I base this on a few long term friendships I have had, where after a year or so, the 'real me' starts coming through and it starts to make them not like me.
I have no reason in writing this, I guess I just needed to think that someone knows how I'm feeling at the moment.
Thank you