Kids out of comfort zones
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I always told my boys that there wasn't much out in the dark that you won't find in the daylight.
Both of them would rather be in the woods than anywhere else.
But then again both boys carry small LED torches and a knife. Maybe they are the "scariest" thing in the woods.
Jon R.
Both of them would rather be in the woods than anywhere else.
But then again both boys carry small LED torches and a knife. Maybe they are the "scariest" thing in the woods.
Jon R.
It was not until Sunday evening that I discovered my daughter has never been anywhere, where it is truly dark. She’s been camping out in the wilds, done two moots, camped right at the edge of a large pine woodland. But when ever and where ever she has been there has always been a light, be it from a camp fire or a head torch/torch.
The short walk from my brother in law house to the car in total darkness was quite frightening for her, mainly because it was a new experience.
Next time she’ll be prepared and maybe be less frightened. New experiences even with both of her parents with in calling distance are frightening, because they are new
I'm sure she will get used to it as we visit more
The short walk from my brother in law house to the car in total darkness was quite frightening for her, mainly because it was a new experience.
Next time she’ll be prepared and maybe be less frightened. New experiences even with both of her parents with in calling distance are frightening, because they are new
I'm sure she will get used to it as we visit more
I know a few people (my girlfriend included) that feel safer in town/city where there are lights and people other than in the woods wher it is dark and creepy when i came back from my solo trip the other day a few people thought i was insane? Or was i not scared? Of what i said, im more scared in towns/cities than the woods.
when i came back from my solo trip the other day a few people thought i was insane? Or was i not scared? Of what i said, im more scared in towns/cities than the woods.
Scots_Charles_River
Bushcrafter (boy, I've got a lot to say!)
Just to clarify.
What I found sad was both the ignorance and the fact that the kids were obviously missing out on what myself and my other mates kids enjoy on a regular basis.
I teach Forest School and work in inner city areas so all the things Toddy has said I see first hand.
The kids reaction certainly does not put them in the position of being ridiculed. It was a learning experience for them which was supported through adult participation. I would no more ridicule a person through lack of knowledge than I would expect to be riducled for the gaps in mine.
Perhaps its just the fact that I see the benefit that the likes of Forest School and Scouting can bring to the development of a young person in all facets of their upbringing regardless of their background.
"Our" woodland area is probably about a mile from our house and we, the kids and I, use it often. These other two kids live within the confines of a huge expanse of wild country in England and yet despite having it on their doorstep they are missing so much.
It just frustrates me but then I know that "our" ethos on life and living, the things we enjoy and take for granted, are not everyones cup of tea.
What I found sad was both the ignorance and the fact that the kids were obviously missing out on what myself and my other mates kids enjoy on a regular basis.
I teach Forest School and work in inner city areas so all the things Toddy has said I see first hand.
The kids reaction certainly does not put them in the position of being ridiculed. It was a learning experience for them which was supported through adult participation. I would no more ridicule a person through lack of knowledge than I would expect to be riducled for the gaps in mine.
Perhaps its just the fact that I see the benefit that the likes of Forest School and Scouting can bring to the development of a young person in all facets of their upbringing regardless of their background.
"Our" woodland area is probably about a mile from our house and we, the kids and I, use it often. These other two kids live within the confines of a huge expanse of wild country in England and yet despite having it on their doorstep they are missing so much.
It just frustrates me but then I know that "our" ethos on life and living, the things we enjoy and take for granted, are not everyones cup of tea.
xylaria
Bushcrafter (boy, I've got a lot to say!)
A year or so ago, I went to a organised halloween walk at night around a local country park, with my children and a freind with her children. My son was all up for taking himself for walk alone in woods at night. He is 8 and likes finding his way in the dark in woods. My friends' two were scared to the point of where I was acctually finding them quite annoying, they also had fitness issues walking more than a mile or up hill. Everyone has differant opinions on what is important for a child to learn, but I feel a realistic idea of genuine risk is pretty basic. My friend closets her kids to the point where they get no risk, and so they never learn to find the mettle to over come fear, they certainly have issues with assessing risk.
Irrational fears are normal in very young children(under 5s), but then it is the parents job to safely educate a child to deal with the world. My children are 8 and 11 and very rarely will be frightened, but my freinds two can have really daft phobias, and then be stupidly over confedant.
Irrational fears are normal in very young children(under 5s), but then it is the parents job to safely educate a child to deal with the world. My children are 8 and 11 and very rarely will be frightened, but my freinds two can have really daft phobias, and then be stupidly over confedant.
I am still a teenager (18), and I was brought up out of doors (very grateful I am too!) I feel safer outdoors than in the city, but I believe everyone has moments when their imagination plays on them a bit. After all that is what makes us human - an irrational fear of the dark, we wouldn't have discovered how to make fire if we were comfortable living in the dark. I think it is important to talk to children about their logical and illogical responses to new situations, to help them work through it themselves.
What better achievement can there be to a young person than spending their first night out in the woods and feeling secure and confident in that environment?
Yes we need to educate them about their surroundings because it makes them more confident in unfamiliar situations.
I have a young cousin who is virtually smothered by his mother (she went with him to scout camp in case he got scared - he's 9!!). So next year I have offered to take him to the scout camp, and to teach him outdoor skills. At first his mother was worried but when she saw the excitement in his face that he could spend some time in the 'real outdoors' she relented.
Wild
What better achievement can there be to a young person than spending their first night out in the woods and feeling secure and confident in that environment?
Yes we need to educate them about their surroundings because it makes them more confident in unfamiliar situations.
I have a young cousin who is virtually smothered by his mother (she went with him to scout camp in case he got scared - he's 9!!). So next year I have offered to take him to the scout camp, and to teach him outdoor skills. At first his mother was worried but when she saw the excitement in his face that he could spend some time in the 'real outdoors' she relented.
Wild
I've two young girls, 2 and 4 years old. My two year has no fear except from being away from either myself or my wife. My 4 yr old however, has a great fear of the dark - indoors. The shadows, light from the hall etc all give her the eebie jeebies.
However, put her in the woods with a torch and a real fire and she has no fears whatsoever. All those strange noises just interest her, if anything i'm more scared of whats in the dark.
I've taught her as well as i can and will continue to do so that there is nothing to be afraid of - within reason. Up until a couple of weeks before xmas she was afraid of a big fat red bloke coming down her chimney. I carefully explained that no such person exists and she was safe in her warm cosy bedroom.
Then we were broken into, at night while we slept and the burglars scared the s**t out of her because she heard them saying Ssssh and quiet.
Now i've had to explain to her that she is safe once again, that no one will hurt her or scare her any more. All my years of teaching her to understand her fears and cope with them have been undone in one night by a pair of crack heads.
Fear in children is a good thing, it teaches them a valuable lesson in being a child and how to grow up and cope with any fears.
Last week i took her to Delamere Forest with her grandad, she refused to let go of our hands everytime someone came along. Then she did something i thought i wouldn't see - she approached a horse and carefully let it snifff her and then she patted it. She used to be afraid of horses.
So all this fear can be turned around into something good. People who smother their kids, are, in my opinion, not exactly wrong, but being over protective.
However, put her in the woods with a torch and a real fire and she has no fears whatsoever. All those strange noises just interest her, if anything i'm more scared of whats in the dark.
I've taught her as well as i can and will continue to do so that there is nothing to be afraid of - within reason. Up until a couple of weeks before xmas she was afraid of a big fat red bloke coming down her chimney. I carefully explained that no such person exists and she was safe in her warm cosy bedroom.
Then we were broken into, at night while we slept and the burglars scared the s**t out of her because she heard them saying Ssssh and quiet.
Now i've had to explain to her that she is safe once again, that no one will hurt her or scare her any more. All my years of teaching her to understand her fears and cope with them have been undone in one night by a pair of crack heads.
Fear in children is a good thing, it teaches them a valuable lesson in being a child and how to grow up and cope with any fears.
Last week i took her to Delamere Forest with her grandad, she refused to let go of our hands everytime someone came along. Then she did something i thought i wouldn't see - she approached a horse and carefully let it snifff her and then she patted it. She used to be afraid of horses.
So all this fear can be turned around into something good. People who smother their kids, are, in my opinion, not exactly wrong, but being over protective.
It's not just kids that are afraid of the dark and outdoors....
A couple years ago I set up a project for offenders on unpaid work to work for an allotment society helping to reclaim old disused plots, helping out elderly or disabled plot holders with the heavy work on their plots and improving the general infrastructure of the whole site.
I had to laugh at their shock and horror when they discovered toads, frogs, large slugs and various large beetles. But the best bit was when the first slow worm was found I actually had to go down there with reference material to reassure the whole group that they weren't going to get bitten or die from these 'horrible' creatures. Whilst it wasn't the dark.... these guys were in their 20's and early 30's and were genuinely scared of what they were finding simply because they'd never seen it in real life and were outside of their 'comfort zone'.
The other sad thing was they'd never actually seen vegetables growing..... the good old food comes from the supermarket ready shrink wrapped syndrome.....
Still at least any offender who does work on the site goes away with a better understanding of where food actually comes from now and an extra bonus a couple of them actually took up their own plots to grow their own vegetables.
A couple years ago I set up a project for offenders on unpaid work to work for an allotment society helping to reclaim old disused plots, helping out elderly or disabled plot holders with the heavy work on their plots and improving the general infrastructure of the whole site.
I had to laugh at their shock and horror when they discovered toads, frogs, large slugs and various large beetles. But the best bit was when the first slow worm was found I actually had to go down there with reference material to reassure the whole group that they weren't going to get bitten or die from these 'horrible' creatures. Whilst it wasn't the dark.... these guys were in their 20's and early 30's and were genuinely scared of what they were finding simply because they'd never seen it in real life and were outside of their 'comfort zone'.
The other sad thing was they'd never actually seen vegetables growing..... the good old food comes from the supermarket ready shrink wrapped syndrome.....
Still at least any offender who does work on the site goes away with a better understanding of where food actually comes from now and an extra bonus a couple of them actually took up their own plots to grow their own vegetables.
I suppose its harder to know if you are safer in the woods or a town at night, or even your own house. my theory has always been that you are probably more likely to be attacked in a town, but stand more chance of escaping. somebody who attacks you in a lonely wood means business.
I'm taking my eldest out again at the weekend to show her that she's safe once again. Only time will tell.
it may not always be the parents, or anybody else's fault for such an irrational fear.
I was brought up on farms and we were always encouraged to go out and play in the woods and stuff, (with a firm reminder to stay away from the slurry pit - that crust isn't as thick as it looks).
However, on one farm the daily walk to the dairy to collect the milk urn involved a walk through a wood. It was a very familiar wood and a frequent hunting ground of ours. That was all fine during the summer but in the dark of the winter, through the rookery, it gave me the scearming abdabs. On one occasion i couldn't bring myself to do it at all and ran back to the house screaming and greeting.
I sometimes use that memory to remind myself not to scoff at anybodys phobias.
I'm sure i've read threads on this forum before where folks have related their own scary stories, including the most experienced members...
I was brought up on farms and we were always encouraged to go out and play in the woods and stuff, (with a firm reminder to stay away from the slurry pit - that crust isn't as thick as it looks).
However, on one farm the daily walk to the dairy to collect the milk urn involved a walk through a wood. It was a very familiar wood and a frequent hunting ground of ours. That was all fine during the summer but in the dark of the winter, through the rookery, it gave me the scearming abdabs. On one occasion i couldn't bring myself to do it at all and ran back to the house screaming and greeting.
I sometimes use that memory to remind myself not to scoff at anybodys phobias.
I'm sure i've read threads on this forum before where folks have related their own scary stories, including the most experienced members...
I’m totally amazed that its not just kids.
I work with grown adults that would not spend a night in the woods on their own!!
I find "most" kids are more likely to adapt after a short while but "some” and I do stress "some" parents force irrational behaviour like the fear of dogs or meat or the dark or the bogyman onto their children.
The place most people think as safe is the most dangerous place on earth .. The home.
And we (the human race) are the most dangerous things out there.
So it amazes me when people I work with says things like “what!! You camp in the woods with no tent! On your own!! Are you not scared?”
This saddens me and at the same time really makes me happy because if they where not scared it would mean all these people would be in the woods with me LOL
Human nature it’s always great topic to raise a discussion because we all think we are right
I work with grown adults that would not spend a night in the woods on their own!!
I find "most" kids are more likely to adapt after a short while but "some” and I do stress "some" parents force irrational behaviour like the fear of dogs or meat or the dark or the bogyman onto their children.
The place most people think as safe is the most dangerous place on earth .. The home.
And we (the human race) are the most dangerous things out there.
So it amazes me when people I work with says things like “what!! You camp in the woods with no tent! On your own!! Are you not scared?”
This saddens me and at the same time really makes me happy because if they where not scared it would mean all these people would be in the woods with me LOL
Human nature it’s always great topic to raise a discussion because we all think we are right
xylaria
Bushcrafter (boy, I've got a lot to say!)
Sometimes experiences are supposed frighten us, finding burglars walking around my house at night would scare the willies out me for very long time. I found a stag beetle in my bed when I was seven, beetles still give me the heebee geebees. I am wary of the wind, and rookery's are just plain creepy. Fear is part of the natural condition, but then it should like anger be controlled. I just feel it is parents duty to make child's experiences as broad a possible, so they learn to control fear, and can be realistic about what they can do. It is one thing is be frightened by an experience and another to be so deprived of experiences as a child that a natural emotion is never brought under any reign.
I am scared of hights - yet I was a climbing instructor....a very safety concious climbing instructor....
I am terrified of flying - yet I have been an expedition leader for many years...
Some fears are totaly irational but can be controlled or dealt with.
I fear the very idea of working in a "normal" job - as I know I would not be able to cope with it and either take my axe to work one day OR end up with a fancy long sleeved jacket with the fastenings up the back!:aargh4:
To be serious: when I have the odd visit to the dark places in my psyche my true and real fears manifest as a terror that I have lost a loved one....
irrational but overwhelming and very scary!
The fear of being alone (not just on your own by choice) is as primal a fear as the fear of the dark and neither should be dissed as woosey. The psyche is a wierd place....
I am terrified of flying - yet I have been an expedition leader for many years...
Some fears are totaly irational but can be controlled or dealt with.
I fear the very idea of working in a "normal" job - as I know I would not be able to cope with it and either take my axe to work one day OR end up with a fancy long sleeved jacket with the fastenings up the back!:aargh4:
To be serious: when I have the odd visit to the dark places in my psyche my true and real fears manifest as a terror that I have lost a loved one....
irrational but overwhelming and very scary!
The fear of being alone (not just on your own by choice) is as primal a fear as the fear of the dark and neither should be dissed as woosey. The psyche is a wierd place....
