Let me tell you the tale of a group of devil worshippers we encountered, late one night, many years back.
There was this favourite stretch of woodland we had on the Downs. It's now a nature reserve, though it wasn't at the time. It's on a steep slope and half-way up is a clear plateau that juts out.
We were camped a few hundred yards from the plateau, and a bit above it. On this particular night there were six of us. We had our spot and everyone had their sleeping bags out (those dreadful German army ones that had sleeves and could by folded up to make a kind of jacket. I'm sure we've all had one of those at some stage). Two of our number (let's call them Bob and Brian - not their real names) said they were going to go and get pizza! They didn't want to cook. As I recall, I said that if you are going for that then get me some special fried rice (I don't like pizza, though I do like the look and idea of it).
Off they trudged down hill to go and get everyone's order. In the meantime we got a fire going and everyone got settled. About an hour later they are back.
'You'll never guess what we've just seen,' they say, all serious and hushed.
We looked at them expectantly.
'On the plateau we saw a large fire and a group of people, dancing around it. Not just dancing but they were all holding hands and chanting. It looked more like a ceremony. Like DEVIL WORSHIPPERS!'
We all laughed. Just a wind up, surely. But inside, I know I was personally spooked more than a little.
We all joked amongst ourselves, but it was obviously nervous laughter and you could tell everyone was edgy.
'Let's go and take a look,' says Colin (again, not his real name).
You could see hands surreptitiously going in bags, to take out penknives or what have you. Just in case. I know I did!
Then we filed off into the dark, down the narrow paths and tracks through the trees. Up ahead, Colin was leading, with Bob and Brian behind him. Behind them was Dan (Colin's brother), then Bert, and finally myself (don't read anything in to that!).
We knew these woods like the back of our hands and we wound down the hill and then back up to the plateau so we could approach it from a hidden path.
As we neared the plateau I saw a sudden flash of flame ahead. It was true! There were people on the plateau and they had a large fire. We got nearer. I could hear voices. Bob and Brian had been correct - there were devil worshippers ahead of us!
I made sure I had that knife firmly in my hand.
'Someone go out and have a better look,' said someone - I couldn't work out who spoke.
'You're up front,' said Bob or Brian. 'Go on Colin - see what they're up to.'
'No way!' whispered Colin, but firm and hard.
And then, all of a sudden, I saw Colin lurch forward, out on to the plateau! I saw him stand, silhouetted against the flames, he paused and looked back at us and then he walked toward the fire.
'If they do anything to him,' declared Dan, 'I will kill everyone one of them! I swear it - they better leave my brother alone.'
Of course, we would all be honour-bound to jump in to defend Colin (even though, to be quite frank with you, he could be a right bell-end on occasion).
And then, after a minute or two, we could see him walking back toward us!
What had happened?
'Cheers, you two,' said Colin to Bob and Brian. 'Thanks for pushing me out there, you pair of cocks.'
Bob and Brian started giggling.
'What happened?' asked a desperate voice.
Colin held out a box of matches.
'They're just like us,' he said. 'They're not devil worshippers. I told them we were also camping out as well and asked if they had any matches so we could light a fire.'
And that was the Devil Worshippers of the Downs. Bob and Brian knew all along they weren't devil worshippers but decided to wind us up.