Fight, flight or fawn ?
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Probably ‘fight’ as my instinct, but I’ve learned that the priority is to actually think and assess the threat so that if running or hiding are more likely to result in survival, do that.
I think having more people than just myself to think about these days has helped that shift in perspective.
I think having more people than just myself to think about these days has helped that shift in perspective.
As a former rugby player, forward, to county level, and infanteer with the finest Regiment the British Army ever had……..Old habits die hard!
Maybe I ought to rephrase the question ?
Do you run towards trouble, run away or sit and hope it passes you by ?
Do you run towards trouble, run away or sit and hope it passes you by ?
None. I take the following steps.
1. Assess the situation/threat.
2. Make a decision.
3. Take appropriate action (which may or may not include fight, flight or fawn as just one of the options amongst other possibilities).
Fight. Even if you know you can't win. Just the way I was brought up.
I've found that my reaction can be any of the three, and not necessarily the one you would expect for any given situation.
I genuinely have no idea what I'll do until I'm in the thick of it.
I always liked to think of myself as a bit of a 'Dude' character from The Big Lebowski, but in reality I'm more of a 'Walter'. I have come to accept this but still can't predict my reaction every time.
I genuinely have no idea what I'll do until I'm in the thick of it.
I always liked to think of myself as a bit of a 'Dude' character from The Big Lebowski, but in reality I'm more of a 'Walter'. I have come to accept this but still can't predict my reaction every time.
Depends.
If its 'my' problem - Try to tackle it with a degree of self moderated coolness. Not that always works. If you let yourself get drawn into the red mist I've found it far harder to escape from and I'm a ticking timebomb.
If I can remain - somewhat emotionally detached and work the problem , even if that means going for a 5min bimble and then coming back to it - that can be a greater and quicker solution.
If its someone elses problem - I now actually pause , reflect and ask if they want help. Which helps as A) I'm gaining permission as opposed to assuming it and B) Slows down the pace of anxiety in them.
CAVEAT - If its at work , wisdom and experience has taught me its often best to not involve oneself. Call that sceptical but its come from being aware of peoples behaviours and responses.
If this is a particular situation or scenario the only thing that needs to be considered are the potential consequences of Acting , or Not Acting or Ignore ( which I guess is not acting but covertly ) - There never tends to be a Single solution , just Trade Offs of varying nature.
( Paraphrasing Thomas Sowell )
It's rather been on my mind since Hogmanay.....I drove into Hamilton, and our village does this daft Scarecrow festival thing, with weird and wonderful creations popping up in most unexpected places.Hanging over walls, popping up in hedges, etc., I admit I am no fan, but, well, it is what it is.
Anyway, quick nip into Sainsbury's and I didn't even have my phone with me, just my purse in my jacket pocket, and at the high point of the village the road curves around an old high sandstone wall (primary school's on top, now it's been turned into flats) and as I turned there was a green puffa coat clad something lying on the pavement....the other side of the road has a garden area in front of another high sandstone wall and that's where the main display goes though now it's still Christmas stuff. Lots of scarecrows earlier, and I was past the green coat thinking it was one of the scarecrows when I realised with appalled horror that it was most likely actually someone collapsed. No way to turn easily, and I didn't have my phone, but in my rear view mirror I saw another car stop and the hazards come on. So at least I knew someone was going to deal, to help, I hoped.
I was out of sorts the whole journey and shopping afterwards, and it was about forty minutes later that I passed that bit of the road going home and there was nothing to be seen.
I feel guilty, but rationally I know that by the time I did manage to get turned around and back, help was clearly happening and I really don't think that there was anything I could do to help anyway.
Spoke with a neighbour about it, and she had heard nothing, but understood why my first thought was a scarecrow not a body. Then she said that she would have just kept out of the way anyhow, unless it had happened right in front of her, and she wouldn't have had a clue what to do then anyway.
I get angry quickly, but it dies just as fast. I don't run away from a disagreement/conflict but try to be rational about dispute. I don't think it's my nature to do nothing but keep out of the way.
It was just a kind of mental rambling when I tripped across a comment elsewhere about fight, flight or fawn.
I sort of wondered how the rest of us react to things. I think the recent news stories too have influenced my mind on this. Not just the Bondi beach news, but the Scottish news has an article about Gwen Mayor, the Dunblane teacher who was killed defending her pupils in 1996, and how a trust set up in her name has been awarding funds to children's groups, as well as her being given one of the first Elizabeth medals.
It's that time of year isn't it ?
Retrospection seems to prevail.
M
Anyway, quick nip into Sainsbury's and I didn't even have my phone with me, just my purse in my jacket pocket, and at the high point of the village the road curves around an old high sandstone wall (primary school's on top, now it's been turned into flats) and as I turned there was a green puffa coat clad something lying on the pavement....the other side of the road has a garden area in front of another high sandstone wall and that's where the main display goes though now it's still Christmas stuff. Lots of scarecrows earlier, and I was past the green coat thinking it was one of the scarecrows when I realised with appalled horror that it was most likely actually someone collapsed. No way to turn easily, and I didn't have my phone, but in my rear view mirror I saw another car stop and the hazards come on. So at least I knew someone was going to deal, to help, I hoped.
I was out of sorts the whole journey and shopping afterwards, and it was about forty minutes later that I passed that bit of the road going home and there was nothing to be seen.
I feel guilty, but rationally I know that by the time I did manage to get turned around and back, help was clearly happening and I really don't think that there was anything I could do to help anyway.
Spoke with a neighbour about it, and she had heard nothing, but understood why my first thought was a scarecrow not a body. Then she said that she would have just kept out of the way anyhow, unless it had happened right in front of her, and she wouldn't have had a clue what to do then anyway.
I get angry quickly, but it dies just as fast. I don't run away from a disagreement/conflict but try to be rational about dispute. I don't think it's my nature to do nothing but keep out of the way.
It was just a kind of mental rambling when I tripped across a comment elsewhere about fight, flight or fawn.
I sort of wondered how the rest of us react to things. I think the recent news stories too have influenced my mind on this. Not just the Bondi beach news, but the Scottish news has an article about Gwen Mayor, the Dunblane teacher who was killed defending her pupils in 1996, and how a trust set up in her name has been awarding funds to children's groups, as well as her being given one of the first Elizabeth medals.
It's that time of year isn't it ?
Retrospection seems to prevail.
M
Having thought on it, I think I would probably do any of them. My instinct is to fight, but like many have said, it all depends on the scenario.
Are you alone? Who is with you?
Where are you? Can you escape? Can those with you escape as well?
Too many variables for a definitive answer.
Are you alone? Who is with you?
Where are you? Can you escape? Can those with you escape as well?
Too many variables for a definitive answer.
I that situation I would have turned around and gone back to help the person who had collapsed. Or at least checked that there were other people there who knew what to do who were helping.
Little point overthinking. Circumstances didn’t allow for a safe stop and someone else assisted who was more accepting of the risk or had a different set of circumstances.
No point feeling bad or dwelling on it
Despite what we might think of ourselves and what we might do in hypothetical situations, we can surprise ourselves when reality strikes for there is one thing most discount in the consideration of the hypothetical and that is; the effect of shock. And yes, been there to know it, that after the event wonder or self admonishment over what we later when all variables have been discovered, would liked to have done, but we did something and that can be enough.
Busy Main Street, I'd already seen the car behind stop and it's flashers on, and I could see other cars behind it.
Our roads are old and narrow, one line of traffic and an ambulance wouldn't get past anyway.
Not trying to justify my actions, just explain that it's not as straightforward a scenario as one might think.
Mmmm - if you have the training and the wherewithal to help, then I would say "go back and help":
if you do not have the wherewithal to help and may endanger your own health/safety and see that someone (hopefully both able and equipped as well as willing) has already stopped then I would say "leave it to them"!
During my training it became clear that having too many by-standers trying to help can be distracting to the incident manager and often embarrassing for the casualty, while a "negative outcome" can be upsetting for everyone who tried, and failed, to help...
I have only dealt with two fatal incidents but both come back to haunt me even decades later - even though, despite my training, there was nothing I could have done to change the outcomes.
if you do not have the wherewithal to help and may endanger your own health/safety and see that someone (hopefully both able and equipped as well as willing) has already stopped then I would say "leave it to them"!
During my training it became clear that having too many by-standers trying to help can be distracting to the incident manager and often embarrassing for the casualty, while a "negative outcome" can be upsetting for everyone who tried, and failed, to help...
I have only dealt with two fatal incidents but both come back to haunt me even decades later - even though, despite my training, there was nothing I could have done to change the outcomes.
To get back I would have had to do two U turns on a busy road, and the road is a really awkward curved corner at that spot. One car stopping, folks will work past. Three or four and we can easily block the road right down to the Cross one way and the Bridge the other.
I saw that someone in a big black rangerover type car had stopped, and was getting out. That the hazard lights were on, and honestly thought, "Well, they're dealing with it, whether it's a scarecrow or someone in need".....but it was on my mind thereafter.
By nature I'm one to go forward and help, but trying to do that there I think I'd just have ended up cluttering up things and not actually being able to help. Doesn't mean it sits well though.
I saw that someone in a big black rangerover type car had stopped, and was getting out. That the hazard lights were on, and honestly thought, "Well, they're dealing with it, whether it's a scarecrow or someone in need".....but it was on my mind thereafter.
By nature I'm one to go forward and help, but trying to do that there I think I'd just have ended up cluttering up things and not actually being able to help. Doesn't mean it sits well though.
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