Ok , going to have to enhance this thread and ask ( insist ) on Cocktail related stories...
It's probably one of those stories that needed you to be there but anywho...
I was about 18 or 19 when I decided to spend my Christmas somewhere else... so I booked a week in Lanzarote.
First day there I was grabbing some food at a mini market (self-catering - so I was hunting for beans) and I found a shelf with tequila at £3 a bottle. Not having tried tequila before, I decided it would be a good idea to drink a bottle a see what happened. I don't remember much of the evening, but my girlfriend of the time told me that I'd insisted on making my interpretation of a paella with beans and tea bags which sounds delicious.
Obviously tequila was not my friend, but being young and very stupid, my girlfriend and I hit the bars on Christmas Eve and we discovered a bar called Harry's. I remember seeing Tequila Sunrise chalked up on a board behind the bar and thinking 'mmmm tequila' and I also remember that I ordered more than a couple over the next hour, but waking up around 2am on Christmas Day morning in a puddle of drool and not wearing much more than a straw hat, I had to rely on my girlfriend to fill in the blanks.
So I've drunk a few too many of Harry's Tequila Sunrises and for some reason thought swimming in the sea was the thing to do. My girlfriend tried to tell me this would be a bad idea and that I didn't have a bathing costume, but I came up with the unoriginal solution of stripping naked. After a brief swim in the December temperatures of the Atlantic ocean, I wasn't in the mood to get dressed again... preferring instead to remain cold and wet running up and down the beach. Then I announced that I'd spotted a light in the distance and I would investigate. I did investigate and inside a small cave-like cabin on the edge of the beach an unsuspecting coast guard was greeted to the sight of an inebriated naked man who stood in his doorway with inane grin saying 'Hello... what's your name?'.
An embarrassed girlfriend grabs me, partially dresses me and returns me to the apartment for a good scolding. During this telling off I take offence at being told that nakedness is perhaps not widely accepted on the beaches of Lanzarote and decide that the world should be naked... and of course that meant stripping, putting on a straw hat and my girlfriend's scarf and standing on the balcony of our apartment in a superhero pose. This was followed by me crawling back into the apartment, resting my head on the settee and passing out.
Later that morning, now fully dressed and with an urge to eat large quantities of food, we went to a local pub (the Dog and Duck) and ordered a Christmas Day morning breakfast of bacon, eggs, mushrooms etc. I sat munching away oblivious to a man on the table opposite staring at me. My girlfriend pointed out that this man had been staring at me since we sat down and she thought it could be the coast guard from the night before. Not wanting to damage Anglo-Spanish relations forever by my poor behaviour being taken as representative of the average late teens male from Britain, I got up and began to walk towards this man to apologise. He didn't want any apology, nor did he want any further contact with me... he made this clear by standing up in front of the breakfast eating patrons of the Dog and Duck, screaming at me in Spanish before quickly running away.
It appears that 18 year old girlfriends can cope with their boyfriends getting drunk, cope with them skinny dipping and nakedly harassing an unsuspecting public worker... but hearing the word 'loco' being yelled by said public worker at a pub breakfast was just a step too far and I was ignored for the rest of the holiday... which was probably for the best really because the mini market still had bottles of tequila on the shelves and who could resist at £3 a bottle?
She did speak to me on the plane ride home and once we'd arrived at Manchester, all was well. We enjoyed a nice quiet New Year's Eve at her parent's house and a couple of days later both returned to work. The following weekend arrived and we arranged to meet at our local pub and upon arrival there were several familiar faces there. They all seemed very pleased to see me and even the bar staff gave me extra big smiles... this was going to be a great evening! That was until I saw my girlfriend with some freshly developed photographs in her hand... giggling as she showed my friends what a tequila-infused nudist looks like in a straw hat and a scarf!
