Austism spectrum

[Silverclaws2]

I have recently been diagnosed by my GP, after seeing typical symptoms on the NHS website, as being on the Autism spectrum. I have, according to my research what I believe to be what used to been known as Asperger's. I have to wait around 18 months for any sort of assessment due to long waiting lists.
The diagnosis makes so much sense about how I have been and felt all of my life. Unfortunately it has cost me two marriages and it's looking like a third is also going to end.
Has anyone else been diagnosed? It would be interesting to hear your experiences?

Yep, professionally diagnosed, not with Aspergers but was termed HFA (high functioning autism) by a specialist back in 2010 as the result of a higher education programme, for that is another route to diagnosis for universities are keen to discover and aid. To say yes there are some distinct positives in being diagnosed in that it can aid one's self forgiveness for a self perceived life's failure, but there are some dangers to the diagnosis I've found ;

a) In a new found interest in the subject of autism, one might take to learning more about it, to perhaps seek to connect with others out on the web, to in discussion of experiences through a need to fit in, potentially take on things that aren't really yours to take, to if you can recognise them erode coping mechanism you have through your life developed.

b) Be very careful who you tell for there are a lot of bullies out there, intentional and not, for any can take to the web, to find the popular picture, the stereotype to there apply their understanding of that popular picture to you , to even when they can't see what they have read seek to deny your experience and difficulty and in some cases even use the knowledge as a tool of oppression through telling you, you do not know what you're thinking because you have a ' cognitive disorder '

c) It's true, there is no help for late diagnosed adult autism on the NHS, for one to just be expected to suck it up and cope with what could be ailing through the understanding, to be diagnosed as an adult one has clearly coped to get that far to not be in need of aid and besides to offer treatment to adults would erode the belief that adulthood cures childhood autism for invariably diagnosed children lose their support at the age of eighteen, to in my mind be in a worse position than the late diagnosed that may have been forced to develop coping strategies to navigate living and working.

Though in my case a diagnosis of autism enabled a lot of understanding and self forgiveness, it wasn't the end of it, for what came two years later was a diagnosis of an intersex condition of which just happens to feature a well known comorbidity with high functioning autism. For that condition to at least have a medical treatment paradigm of which I do have to say from experience does knock the edges off the autism. The only problem with the direction I took in that paradigm is that it has rendered me more or less a public enemy for my appearance. An experience I find autism actually aids with in that I am already well schooled in the art of societal camouflage and the avoidance of situations likely to cause difficulty.

 

[MikeeMiracle]

Self-diagnosed with milder Aspergers here, i'm sure I have it but don't want an official diagnosis as I don't want to have to declare it when applying for work and I have learned to live around the issues, Took me until I was in my 30's to do so convincingly though.

I don't view it as a negative, just a difference in the way the brain works. We have too many labels with stigmatized meanings which can get people down if they are labelled with them.

I ignore the negative aspects and focus on the positives ones and try and take advantage of them. For example being obsessive over a narrow range of subjects allows you to focus yourself and specialize knowledge of those subjects. If like me one of those is in the area you work in then happy days. Some tech companies deliberately look for Autistic people for this very reason, their knowledge and attention to details is unparalelled.

I don't think I will ever be comfortable looking at someones eyes for more than 5 seconds when talking to them and accept that I will never be able to feel empathy for others in the way that's accepted. I just try and think of what reactions people expect from me when they tell me things and "play the game" of producing the appropriate reaction. That allows me to "get on" with life and leave people none the wiser about my condition.

 

[Silverclaws2]

Self-diagnosed with milder Aspergers here, i'm sure I have it but don't want an official diagnosis as I don't want to have to declare it when applying for work and I have learned to live around the issues, Took me until I was in my 30's to do so convincingly though.

I don't view it as a negative, just a difference in the way the brain works. We have too many labels with stigmatized meanings which can get people down if they are labelled with them.

I ignore the negative aspects and focus on the positives ones and try and take advantage of them. For example being obsessive over a narrow range of subjects allows you to focus yourself and specialize knowledge of those subjects. If like me one of those is in the area you work in then happy days. Some tech companies deliberately look for Autistic people for this very reason, their knowledge and attention to details is unparalelled.

I don't think I will ever be comfortable looking at someones eyes for more than 5 seconds when talking to them and accept that I will never be able to feel empathy for others in the way that's accepted. I just try and think of what reactions people expect from me when they tell me things and "play the game" of producing the appropriate reaction. That allows me to "get on" with life and leave people none the wiser about my condition.

In the UK you don't have to declare you have autism to a potential employer.

 

[swotty]

Silverclaws2 and MikeeMiracle this is all fascinating stuff. I believe that I also have HFA which I believe is what used to be referred to as Asperger's. As far as bullying goes I went through that in my school years (quite probably connected in retrospect) so it's now water off a ducks back!
It is really reassuring to hear your experiences and the way that AS affects you.
Thank you chaps....it is really good to hear it's not just me!

How has this affected you and your partners relationship?

 

[MikeeMiracle]

I didn't get into relationships until my 30's as I just didnt get women. Never had issues just talking as friends but was clueless relationship wise and how to approach everything. I had to fall back to the old "pretend they are just gonna be friends" routine which worked for me. In fact my current partner just assumed I wasn't into her that much initially. We've been together 7 years and have two sons now.

I have told her I believe I have Aspergers but she doesn't get it. My feelings may not be what they should be but I am fully committed and doing the "right thing" by everyone in the relationship so I do not see why it will not last forever.

Just be true to yourself and make sure you are comfortable and happy with what you are doing I would say.

 

[Paul_B]

At the risk of giving offence I've got to say that imho you can't say you're self diagnosed. You've simply got a suspicion you’ve got an autistic spectrum disorder. There are many things that can give symptoms like autism so it's very premature to say you're self diagnosed with it.

If you want the status of a diagnosis, then fight to get it. If not then simply face up to the fact you have issues that are unresolved and undiagnosed but appear to be on the spectrum of autism.

BTW as an aside, the arbitrary cut off in help with childhood autism is a real problem. I know siblings with autism. One is severely so the other less so and deemed to be able to cope with mainstream education. One got a lot of help the other got very little.

Now? The one that's struggling to cope in society the most is the least autistic sibling. No friends, cut off from everyone, barely able to talk to people. The more autistic one has a lot of friends, socialise a lot and fits in to society more. He even initialises conversations with me better than I can with him!!!!

 

[swotty]

At the risk of giving offence I've got to say that imho you can't say you're self diagnosed. You've simply got a suspicion you’ve got an autistic spectrum disorder. There are many things that can give symptoms like autism so it's very premature to say you're self diagnosed with it.

If you want the that of a diagnosis fight to get it. If not then simply face up to the fact you have issues that are unresolved and undiagnosed but appear to be on eye spectrum of autism.

BTW as an aside, the arbitrary cut off in help with childhood autism is a real problem. I know siblings with autism. One is severely so the other less so and deemed to be able to cope with mainstream education. One got a lot of help the other got very little.

Now? The one that's struggling to cope in society the most is the least autistic sibling. No friends, cut off from everyone, barely able to talk to people. The more autistic one has a lot of friends, socialise a lot and fits in to society more. He even initialises conversations with me better than I can with him!!!!

Like I say this is the opinion of a GP and a counsellor with experience in the field. I have an 18month wait for an assessment so due to the above and my research I'm going to assume it's the case in the meantime.

Sent from Somerset using magic

 

[MikeeMiracle]

No offence taken, I am content with my self diagnosis. Reading about Aspergers was definitely an "AHA" moment for me. It's was more than just 1 or 2 symptoms and it all suddenly made sense.

Not interesting in a "diagnosis fight" as you put it. I may have limited feelings but my self-confidence is sky high, I got nothing to proove

 

[C_Claycomb]

Re the 18 month waiting list, is that NHS or private?

Places like this appear to offer assessments privately

Expert adult autism diagnosis & assessment | Clinical Partners

We provide accurate and professional autism assessments for adults. Get the help and support you need today with our specialised services.

www.clinical-partners.co.uk

Private usually has much shorter waits. I have been assessed privately with BUPA for a couple things and paid for private tooth extractions on two occasions. The speed and efficiency with which appointments were booked and test results were available was incredible.

 

[Paul_B]

Like I say this is the opinion of a GP and a counsellor with experience in the field. I have an 18month wait for an assessment so due to the above and my research I'm going to assume it's the case in the meantime.

Sent from Somerset using magic

Not you I meant MM. At least a GP has medical training perhaps psychological training too. Whilst it's not definitive it's partway there. Self diagnosis isn't anywhere. It's like self diagnosis of food allergies and intolerance. People read about it then bandy it around like they've got food allergy. Not saying MM is doing any bandying about with anything

It does sound like I'm gatekeeping here but I'm trying to explain it because it's not like that. A diagnosis can lead to so much more than a self or Internet diagnosis. It doesn't always but can. It's also an acknowledgement from others which may or may not benefit you. My view isn't gatekeeping but about encouragement for people to take the plunge and prove their suspicion through external and professional diagnosis.

 

[MikeeMiracle]

I appreciate what your saying and thank you. Life's good at the moment and I have no complaints so I see no need / benefit in getting a professional opinion / diagnosis. I rarely even think about it so it doesn't really affect me. If the time came when I felt there would be value in diagnosis then I have no issues seeking further assistance. The example from the OP being a prime candidate, if I felt my relationship would benefit from it then I would seek a medical diagnosis.

 

[Paul_B]

No offence taken, I am content with my self diagnosis. Reading about Aspergers was definitely an "AHA" moment for me. It's was more than just 1 or 2 symptoms and it all suddenly made sense.

Not interesting in a "diagnosis fight" as you put it. I may have limited feelings but my self-confidence is sky high, I got nothing to proove

Auto correct broke the link between what I was thinking and what you were reading. I have edited the post to clarify. It's not a fight with you over diagnosis, it's about clarity in what you know to be true vs what you suspect. If you have value in a diagnosis then that's what you should fight for not a very inconclusive self diagnosis.

Or in other words if you are so confident in your self diagnosis read that American journal of psychological disorders that is used globally as the gold standard reference book on disorders, diagnosis and treatment. You'll soon see there are so many conditions and disorders more like autism than autism is! I think you'll question your view on it.

 

[swotty]

Re the 18 month waiting list, is that NHS or private?

Places like this appear to offer assessments privately

Expert adult autism diagnosis & assessment | Clinical Partners

We provide accurate and professional autism assessments for adults. Get the help and support you need today with our specialised services.

www.clinical-partners.co.uk

Private usually has much shorter waits. I have been assessed privately with BUPA for a couple things and paid for private tooth extractions on two occasions. The speed and efficiency with which appointments were booked and test results were available was incredible.

Thank you...I meaning NHS. I will enquire but think private is going to be out of my price range sadly.

Sent from Somerset using magic

 

[Silverclaws2]

Silverclaws2 and MikeeMiracle this is all fascinating stuff. I believe that I also have HFA which I believe is what used to be referred to as Asperger's. As far as bullying goes I went through that in my school years (quite probably connected in retrospect) so it's now water off a ducks back!
It is really reassuring to hear your experiences and the way that AS affects you.
Thank you chaps....it is really good to hear it's not just me!

How has this affected you and your partners relationship?

No, Aspergers and HFA were two different things, hence why I was dx'd with HFA as opposed to the more fashionable Aspergers that everyone else seemed to be being lumped with at the time, for the specialist of whom dx'd me knew the difference through also having autism themselves to also be a consultant to the NHS.

Bullying, sadly my bullying did not stop at the school gates for it also went into the workplace, even the military and beyond for it is a fact when one is constantly abused for what, one is not aware, it does sort of get to you after a while, to come to expect to be bullied to create defensive coping mechanisms of which I understand can also grate against folk - there's rarely any middle ground with autism.

Relationships; I too came late to them, in fact in my late twenties for that to turn out to be a disaster, my relationship now of which came over a decade after the demise of my first is cool, for my new partner is also ' on the spectrum', to describe an ease with communication and freedom to be oneself that is not apparent with the NT's ( NT= neuro-typical as opposed to neuro-diverse).

These days with full knowledge of what I am and how I think I am a wholly different person to what I was back in the pre diagnosis dark days, where these days I don't care what other people think of me to quite enjoy my batshit craziness, for it's never boring. But that's it isn't it, the freedom to be oneself at last.

 

[Laurentius]

You are not the only one for sure, and neither am I on this forum. I was not diagnosed until I was in my forties, and that was a long long time ago now. I have since become an expert on the subject, I was even commissioned to write an encyclopeadia article which is not bad going. It may be more than twenty years since I made my discovery, but sadly there is still a huge amount of ignorance that gets repeated about it and Hollywood certainly has not helped in that respect. I will say one thing, trying to define Autism and put it into a bottle is like trying to define Bushcraft and put that into a bottle.

 

[Tengu]

Yes.

We are all very different people. The one thing we have in common is Autism.

I had a diagnosis (not easy as an adult; I feel your pain)

Ill be back later; on holiday at the moment

 

[Silverclaws2]

Indeed for folk that profess to know about conditions, can make the fatal mistake of believing folk diagnosed with conditions must be all the same to also have all the characteristics their condition education described, to even risk rejection of the afflicted through not compliance with what is most often at least - out of date education.

And it's not just lay folk that can be guilty of this for med pro's can be as guilty in my experience, where I do wonder, are they intentionally ignorant or do they just forget to modify their back shop language when they're out front with the customer.

Oh and I do find it somewhat offensive when folk think because I have high functioning autism I just must love computer coding and doing repetitive tasks, when it's a fact I find such things drive me up the wall, with abdab screaming boredom, to potentially cause me to walk off the job.

 

[Kadushu]

This forum seems to have a large membership "on the spectrum." Is bushcraft particularly attractive to people with autism or am I suggesting a fallaceous correlation?

 

[Silverclaws2]

This forum seems to have a large membership "on the spectrum." Is bushcraft particularly attractive to people with autism or am I suggesting a fallaceous correlaItion?

A not uncommon question in other special interest groups I am involved with.

 

[Paul_B]

It's interesting to point out that a lot of disorders like ASD and ADHD have no set symptoms just a range of them that is as individual as anyone is.

I looked a lot into ADHD because I believe I fit a diagnosis of this but I could easily send up being on the autistic spectrum in the end? Or another disorder completely. One takeaway point I took from my research is that people often think they know what it is but don't. In my case ADHD is often thought about as the kid bouncing off the walls in a hyperactive way. Truth is they are probably as likely to be found just staring into space or in their own world due to hyper focus of just get branded as lazy (my trait as defined by a child psychologist when pre-school in the 70s before ADHD was accepted). Autism has similar issues with the understanding of the general public.

There's also a lot of co-morbidities between various disorders like ADHD. ASD, bi-polar, etc. Also depression and other more mainstream issues. On the ADHD forum co-morbidities were so common that there was a separate sub-forum to discuss them.

I should try for a diagnosis but I can't get see the positives and negatives for that. One big negative I do see is the battle for a diagnosis. I hope the OP and all others who suspect ASD or other all the luck in the world with getting their diagnosis.