A small dose of terror...........

[saxonaxe]

A couple of months ago I became a Great Grandfather, and for the first time last weekend my Granddaughter asked if I would baby sit, just for 4 hours one Sunday evening. Ha! easy, no problem thinks I...
Arriving at my Granddaughter's address I am given a list of instructions and shown where the 'Ready for action' baby kit is...Milk in bottle, Nappies, baby wipes, jug to put hot water in to sink bottle, to warm it up..Yeah Yeah, at nearly 75 I still remember the drill...at least I think I do..

He's fast asleep..ah! Little Angel...'Bye Granddad...
Five minutes at most and he wakes up, and starts to yell. My instant thoughts are, this lad has a future in the world of Opera or possibly as a Drill Sergeant or once he can stand up I'll buy him a Hand Bell and he will wipe out the opposition in a contest as Town Crier
Consult instructions..yelling = Hungry or wind or Nappy change..I'll go with the hungry bit first. Warm bottle in jug of hot water and plug him in..silence, except for a muted glug glug sound.

How does he guzzle so much milk so quickly?..Starts yelling again, quick consult instructions! Right, baby on shoulder, walk round living room patting his back...
Luckily the milk was still warm when he emptied it inside the collar of my shirt, at least it didn't go on the carpet.
Yelling again, resembles Act 2 of La Traviata ..Of course he's empty, his last lot is inside my shirt. ...more milk required. Resume walkies and back patting but with a towel on my shoulder this time...

The dreaded Nappy change. They are not as I remembered, all fluffy and secured with a big pin. Now they are sealed like a combat wound dressing and there are no instructions..which is the front and what are these little tabs on the sides?
Pull tabs thinking they are like plasters with a pull off cover over the adhesive..whoops! pulled the tabs completely off..Can't secure Nappy properly, so on with his baby suit quick...Hope it keeps things together.

Walking round and round living room bouncing baby, after some time baby weight has multiplied by at least 2 stone I feel and I'm running out of half remembered Nursery Rhymes.
" Look, who's that in the mirror?" Instant yelling..won't try that trick again.

Finally after a thousand bounces and several hundred miles of carpet trekking he goes to sleep and I gently lay him down on the settee...and finally I can sit down..knackered.
Within seconds door opens, in comes Granddaughter..." Ah! Look he's a sleep...Granddad you look really tired...

 

[Toddy]

We need a 'mishaps' thread

 

[oldtimer]

I think I'm going to renegotiate my relationship with my two granddaughters once they're past puberty. By the time the three year old is likely to put me in your position I'll be nearly a hundred!

 

[Paul_B]

Late fatherhood at 40 means I was halfway to your situation but completely tired out like it sounds you were. Only I couldn't hand him back. Well I did to his mother if I could get away with it.

Can I just ask, when do they stop becoming tiring to look after?

BTW the winding without a sick cloth over your shoulder is a rookie mistake. Fortunately I saw it happen to my partner before I had to wind junior so learnt the lesson the easy way.

So when is your next baby sitting gig? 12th of never or did you secretly enjoy it?

 

[Janne]

Paul, my son is almost 24 and I still get tired of looking after him.....


It is a different type of 'looking after'.

 

[saxonaxe]

" BTW the winding without a sick cloth over your shoulder is a rookie mistake "
Ah! have mercy, the last time I had burping duty was over half a Century ago...and time dims memories..
Rest assured they do get less tiring eventually but just to keep you on your toes they then start to get expensive..very...

Next gig is unscheduled at the moment but really looking forward to my next deployment...
The only cloud on the horizon is, I've been told by my Daughter, his Granny, that I may not buy him a Mora for his first Christmas present. .........

" nearly a hundred! " ...You do know Oldtimer that many people are living beyond 100 years these days? You are not safe yet..so stop grinning..

 

[dwardo]

Sounds all too familiar. My two year old is already twice the work of her 8 yr old brother. Demanding, tantrums, sulks, jealousy, manipulative and that's just today!!

 

[Paul_B]

From when he could talk or son was navigating for his grandparents. Well the visiting grandparents from another area at least. Excellent memory for where he's been. By the age of about 3 he was using his mother's threats against her, almost forensically using her words against us. All giving us the run around. Basically from toddler age he ran everywhere instead of walking.

Basically in every way he can be hard work. Of course he's not always like that. The good times far outweigh the times when you fall into bed cream crackered at the end of the day.

BTW my little blighter told me the oldest man lived to 140. No idea if true (he remembers all sorts of things so could be) but Old timer you could have a lot of time left for child minding duties with the youngest generation.

 

[Woody girl]

Have to giggle at you poor old chaps. I started motherhood again at 40 after I had just got a blissful empty nest. (Not planned ) then daddy walks away. Had to do it all, 24/7 solo. No granny or Grandpa to help out. THAT is tired!!!! Never had a night off for six years. Now I'm a grandma. (2,8&13yrs). It is exhausting now as then.. but at least I can give them back to mom and dad for a rest!

 

[Duggie Bravo]

"
The only cloud on the horizon is, I've been told by my Daughter, his Granny, that I may not buy him a Mora for his first Christmas present. .........

That’s extremely sensible. Their hand is too small to hold a Mora, could I suggest a small SAK


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[Paul_B]

Or a kids opinel with the rounded end? Iirc they do smaller ones that would fit small hands.

I read that it used to be said that there's an opinel in every French man's pocket.

 

[Sundowner]

Read this thread just now, first thing in the morning and I've never laughed as much in a long time. Even gave it SWMBO to read and she had to laugh too. My grandchild is 10 now and, being female, is a bossy sort of thing. Only time she actually listens to me, is in the woods. I've no made a decision to look after her more often as I secretly enjoy getting bossed around

 

[oldtimer]

Or a kids opinel with the rounded end? Iirc they do smaller ones that would fit small hands.

I read that it used to be said that there's an opinel in every French man's pocket.[/QUIET]
It's traditional in France for grandfathers to give their grandchildren their first knife. I gave my grandson a blunt pointed Opinel: his other grandfather have him a multi-year SAK. Grandson bought himself a Mora Companion!

As for an Opinel in every Frenchman 's pocket, I've never been at an outdoor gathering with French friends where Frenchmen and frenchwomen were not able to produce a pocket knife. In my experience, Frenchwomen seem to prefer a Laguiole. My wife always carries one.