Parents and Knives

[unused[nl]]

Because I am just a starter in Bushcraft I only have a very small folding knife, which is very old, hard to sharpen and hard to clean. Because of this I would like to buy a new knife and I am thinking of a Frosts Craftsmen / Bushcraft Knife - Stainless Steel from the shop here.

But what of my parents? Because I am only 18 years old, still live at home and have parents who like to control everything I do, I don't think they will allow me to buy a knife with a fixed blade. How am I going to ask it? I can't do it sneaky, they will find out and I would like to be honest with them.

How did you asked your parents when you were younger?

Hope you can help me.

 

[michiel]

Maybe Leon could chime in. He asked his parents about half a yer ago if I'm not mistaken.
I never had the problem. I got my first knife from my dad.

Michiel

 

[Tengu]

I had a kind uncle get it for me behind my mothers back. (that was when I was 8)

I bought my first fixed blade from a second hand shop when I was 14. (but things were different then)

but theres no reason why you couldnt try it if you looked mature and responsible (as I have always done)

or get from a car boot

or make your own

 

[Andy]

18 is old enough to buy a knife (I was dealing knives just after my 18th)
If they have concerns and you want to keep them happy though suggest that it stay in their possension and you ask them to getit for you when you want to use it

 

[mace242]

Be honest. I am a parent of a teenager so I understand a bit, and if your parents are a decent sort they will really appreciate the honesty. Sit them down and explain it all as a grown up. Be calm and sensible. Explain to them that in many circumstances a folding knife can be dangerous. Read up on UK knife law and show that you know what you are talking about. Perhaps showing them some pages from, say Ray Mears, where it details the type of knife used for bushcraft and why.

Most importantly if they say no then don't make a fuss. You live a home and they are the home owners and make the rules. Not making a fuss will go a huge way to showing your maturity and help your cause in the long run.

When I was younger I was a scout and my dad bought me a knife from Millets - I still remember the day so it wasn't an issue. But my thoughts are with you. Good luck.

 

[mjk123]

I guess your folks are going to be concerned about either of two things:

A) You're going to cut your finger off
B) You're going to cut someone else's finger off

To counter A, tell them that you can only afford a cheap knife because you want to buy a quality first aid kit to carry with you always when out and about in the woods. (Ans a sharpening stone, but don't emphasise this)

To counter B, show them the Spikelkniv page from Brusletto. This knife is a small bladed knife with a picture of a goblin etched into it. Goblins are not seen to be intimidatory, despite being well-known for biting the heads off squirrels after too much nettle beer. Anyway, if you can show them a legitimate use for a knife and don't choose a combat style model then this might pave the way.

 

[shaunmcdonald]

As a parent i really hope my children when they reach 18 still have such a level of respect that you do for your parents. And as such i think the best approach is what mace242 has said. If you can approach them in a mature manner and put your case forward with good sensible reasons i really dont think they will object.

 

[British Red]

Do you have a copy of a quality book showing knife skills? Theres some great things in Mors' book for example. Why not ask your dad to help you learn those skills? Dads love being asked for advice - my youngest is about your age and I love it when she comes to me (and Mors describes needing the right kind of knife).

Ask him to show you / guide you / supervise you. He may even get interested - and Dad's have deep pockets.When I was chatting to Leon in his early days, I encouraged him to get his Mum and Dad involved and they have been very supportive (including taking him to meet some of the great guys like Fenlander who have given up their time to teach him)

Parents on side is the way to go. If you explain it in terms of healthy outdoor fun, self reliance and traditional skills, I hope they will understand. Also look at Jon Rs spoons, canoe etc. Show your mum and dad the pictures of proper tool use - Jon is around your age

Red

 

[leon-b]

yes you are right i got my first knife a little while ago
i was on the computer and i said to my mum can i get a knife at first she just said no but then i shew it to her and said what i was going to use it for (fishing and bushcraft) and after a bit of explaining she came round
leon

 

[Matt Weir]

My advice is to get some bushcraft books and leave them strategically placed so your parents find them then announce your new found love for bushcraft and the great outdoors. Once that has sunk in, broach the subject of tools you need and explain why you need them and make your Mum something nice

Basically rather than blurt out 'I want a knife' just drip feed them and plant the seed subtly.

Failing that force them to log onto the forum until they become so hopelessly addicted that they insist on all the family having knifes (and all the rest of the usual kit)

Good luck.

 

[Porcupine]

if im not mistaken he isnt english but dutch, if not the small NL part behind his name has given me a totaly wrong impression


im not sure how much your parents know of your (new?) hobby but it would be best to explain what bushcraft is, and why you need a non folder.

my personal aproach would be to show my old man how to make fire with some natural stuff and a swedish firesteel. (typha down/lisdodde pluis with some of the papery scraps of birchbark/berkebast)

this would serve as a great reason to tell why folders are bad, tell about how the hinge of a folder is a weak point that gives a chance to cut of fingers when used in this way.

dont forget to show how you would split wood with a knife and explain how this would ruin a folder.

not sure if you should tell that the teaching is to pick up your personal first aid kit (FAK) before you start working with a knife


good luck and hope it works out for you

 

[unused[nl]]

Thanks guys! Great replies.

There is also a slightly little problem, I am a huge fan of martial arts and I practice at least twice a week. I am a Tae Soo Do Student and in about 1 year or 2 I will be a Hwa Rang Do student ( I first need to get the Tae Soo Do black belt before I am allowed to become a Hwa Rang Do student), in both TSD and HRD we have weapons and also the knife. I love this as a weapon and I also have a training knife, some kind of rubber I think it is. But when I will say I want to buy a knife I think they are afraid that I will do other things with it than just Bushcraft for example training with it and maybe take it in to town when I am going out. This is absolutely not my intentions, of all weapons I respect the knife the most even more than a gun! It's quick, small and in the right/wrong hands it's deadly with one cut. Therefore I would never use it in a real fight and don't want to have it with me, you never know how you react in a fight.
I hope that when I tell this to my parents also they will understand.

@mace242
Thanks for the great advice, I sometimes make a fuzz when my parents don't want what I want.

@mjk123
I think a folding knife is even more dangerous to cut yourself, I kind of sharpened it up and I can't lock it, I actually cut my self 2 weeks ago when I was trying to make a spoon but the knife folded back.

@shaunmcdonald
The respect for my parents is how I was raised but for the last 2 years also a lot because of my martial arts, without respect for others and especially your teachers and parents you can't be a good martial art student. Without rules and values you are a street fighter.

@British Red
Yeah I know Dad's like to help! When I bought my firesteel he was looking every time I was
trying to get it right. He also thought me how to skin and clean a rabbit last week. He is a farmers son and they did it a lot them self. He also stays a lot longer in my room if he sees I am watching some Ray Mears episodes

@Leon
How did your dad thought about it? Or did you already discus this with him? I think my Father is more like "You will damage yourself and others!" and my mom just don't like knifes.

@Matt Weir
They already kind of know that I seriously like being out, we live near the edge of a forest and I go and walk there almost every week.

Thanks again

 

[unused[nl]]

@Pourcupine
Yeah I already did! My dad liked it but you know you get those kind of scrapers with those firesteels you can use those also he would say I think..

 

[Bushcraft4life]

unused[nl] as a fellow martial artist and bushcrafter, i completely understand where you are coming from, i am only 17 myself, got my first knife ( a mora) bout a year and a half ago. Its all down to trust, if your parents trust you they shouldn't have a problem. Just don't give them a reason to doubt you. Martial arts teaches you to respect the things and others around you as you rightly put. Are your parents interested in bushcraft or/and martial arts ? Luckily for me my mum is a martial artist and i am able to train with weapons and collect them also (some people just got it lucky ).

 

[British Red]

unused,

As a farmering bloke (me too), your dad will know the value of a knife. Get him to show you some techniques for carving and cutting. Talk about a fixed blade knife but ask him to keep it for you (as said before) until you use it together. Tell him you don't want to have until HE thinks you are ready and can use it properly.

That would impress me as a father

Red

 

[dommyracer]

You're 18 right? I'd go out and buy the knife. You're an adult after all, and I'm assuming its your own money.

Then go practice your carving and make your ma and pa something nice.

Just my O, obviously.

 

[bushtank]

You're 18 right? I'd go out and buy the knife. You're an adult after all, and I'm assuming its your own money.

Then go practice your carving and make your ma and pa something nice.

Just my O, obviously.

I cannot agree more .I am a father myself if my son felt he could not even buy a knife at 18 then something is wrong you are old enough to smoke, drink alcohol and vote. A knife is just a tool we all use them every day.Go buy the knife and carve something nice like dommyracer said

 

[Goose]

I think it is refreshing to hear that some out there still respect their parents wishes to this extent at 18. While I lived(or stayed) at my parents I had to keep to their rules,rightfully so, even to any curfew imposed, although during the times I was away my life could be pretty extreme . I didn't think it was always right or fair at the time though, and I have it to go through with my kids in the future:aargh4: .
Be honest and upfront, it will count for a lot and your parents will be aware that you could, if you chose to, just go and buy one without their permission. Say what you want and why, ask for advice about using it, sounds like your dad will have a working knowledge of knives, ask for their opinion about storage and when and where is suitable to use it, and most of all point out that for the jobs you want to do are a lot safer with a fixed blade than a folder. I wouldn't bring any martial arts into it, in my mind bushcraft tools and martial arts are completely at odds with each other!

 

[BOD]

Lots of first class advice here. Just work on them slowly especially Dad. He may be concerned about Mum and in any case you need him to work on her.

Red's strategy sounds good.

I got my first puokko at 5 from my grand dad (promptly confiscated by my mother) but when I asked my Dad at 12 for a knife he sprung for 6 inch fixed blade Bowie

Boy was I surprised! Just keep trying

 

[Northern Giant UK]

I'd go for the softer approach and remember that respect is a two way thing, if you show respect by not running off and just getting the knife without their approval they should respect your maturity.
By showing your parents that you want them to understand WHY the knife is needed before getting one your parents will have a better understanding of your intentions with the knife.
Definitely point out the safety aspects of a fixed blade knife compared to a folding knife and even the survival aspects (you live next to a forest and even a short trip can become a survival situation) of having a knife with you.
Prove to them that you understand the legalities/responsibilities involved and that you have the knowledge and equipment to handle/avoid injuries.

All the best.

Kev

PS. Patience is also a virtue!