Hi. As a ex youth worker that has worked on the streets of Portsmouth, Glasgow and Cardiff (to name a few) I applaude not only your restraint but the fact that you put yourself out there and challenged them. All credit to you. I can say that although this seems to be a growing problem and there is an "idiot" in every town or village, for every one prat there are 40 young people working hard at there GCSEs, at home or out and about Not getting into trouble. Im a firm believer in challenging the yobs and reclaiming the streets back for the honest law abbiding, hard working people of our communitie, (but be sensible when and where). I also believe in the second chance as Ive worked alot with these youngsters and on the whole thier behaviour either changes or they do experience the "what goes around comes around". Anyway, Its not nice being spat on, I know so hats off to you matey.
When they spit on You
- Thread starter Corfe
- Start date
Sneering, disrespectful, vindictive yobbos are on the rise. Its the way it is today and I saw it coming years ago. Most on here of my age knew what the boundaries were and we knew the consequences of crossing them.
For many years now there has been no physical deterrent. No belt in schools, no quick slap or thumping from a Policeman. Uncivilised as this sounds, what have they to fear? They know the system works in their favour and know how to play it. having said that...
Years and years ago in my youth I was a bit feral and always getting into fights. Generally this was amongst my own peer group and above, but one thing none of us did was abuse or disrespect the infirm, the disadvantaged or OAP's. I was wild, I was jack the lad but knew I'd cop it when authority stepped in. I accepted that, it was part of the "game" and luckily for me only just stayed out of jail.
I grew out of this nonsense when sport/martial arts channelled my aggression (I abused it at first I admit), then when in the army I was scared, really scared, for the first time in my life, when civvy life and a young family meant I worked like a Trojan to feed and house them.
In other words I grew up - but I still had a short fuse for many years which I managed to keep under control most of the time. This earlier misbehaviour and running with the wrong crowd however did pay dividends when I moonlighted on the doors for extra money, as I could spot the chancers and fitted into that "culture" quite easily.
Thirty odd years of being slammed up and down a mat, injury and illness also took its toll and made me wake up to the fact I had to take it easy and wasn't the young thruster I thought I'd been. This took a while to get used to mentally as it was hard to admit I'd aged. Still I had my confidence and no longer had anything to prove as it were.
These days I bimble around quite happily enjoying life, volunteering with the wayward, keeping chickens and not looking for trouble. Unfortunately, trouble has found me on occasion and its been brought by yobbos like Corfe describes.
Had I been able to walk away I would have, but I must admit I've enjoyed allowing my nasty side out on these occasions. It may not seem very civilised, but talking sense to these types is only possible when they respect (fear) you, sometimes violence is the only language that'll get through. I was only ready to listen to advice when I was younger after I'd had a hiding and was licking my wounds wondering what went wrong. It still holds true with younger yobbos.
Did I warn the yobbos I have black belts in Jujutsu, Karate, Judo and Aikido and still run a club locally when they started? Oops, I must have forgotten to mention it in the heat of the moment and they never asked. Did I deliberately "adopt" a persona of just being an easy going middle aged bloke on his way to the allotment? Definitely.
I'm no Bruce Lee but experience made sure I got in there quick and I was nasty with it - I had to be, pre emptive is a lot easier than breathing out of my arrse trying to compete with youthful unboundless energy.
I've had a couple of cautions for having been a bit heavy handed, but on the whole the Police have taken the view I was outnumbered and they picked on the wrong guy.
Luck has played its part though and it might run out one day. In that case I'll just have to wheeze and cough and phlegm them into submission.
Liam
This lengthy post is also available in sarcastic.
If anyone's been adversely affected by the views I've expressed here, I've a box of sympathy in the freezer I can send you, but its probably years out of date.
For many years now there has been no physical deterrent. No belt in schools, no quick slap or thumping from a Policeman. Uncivilised as this sounds, what have they to fear? They know the system works in their favour and know how to play it. having said that...
Years and years ago in my youth I was a bit feral and always getting into fights. Generally this was amongst my own peer group and above, but one thing none of us did was abuse or disrespect the infirm, the disadvantaged or OAP's. I was wild, I was jack the lad but knew I'd cop it when authority stepped in. I accepted that, it was part of the "game" and luckily for me only just stayed out of jail.
I grew out of this nonsense when sport/martial arts channelled my aggression (I abused it at first I admit), then when in the army I was scared, really scared, for the first time in my life, when civvy life and a young family meant I worked like a Trojan to feed and house them.
In other words I grew up - but I still had a short fuse for many years which I managed to keep under control most of the time. This earlier misbehaviour and running with the wrong crowd however did pay dividends when I moonlighted on the doors for extra money, as I could spot the chancers and fitted into that "culture" quite easily.
Thirty odd years of being slammed up and down a mat, injury and illness also took its toll and made me wake up to the fact I had to take it easy and wasn't the young thruster I thought I'd been. This took a while to get used to mentally as it was hard to admit I'd aged. Still I had my confidence and no longer had anything to prove as it were.
These days I bimble around quite happily enjoying life, volunteering with the wayward, keeping chickens and not looking for trouble. Unfortunately, trouble has found me on occasion and its been brought by yobbos like Corfe describes.
Had I been able to walk away I would have, but I must admit I've enjoyed allowing my nasty side out on these occasions. It may not seem very civilised, but talking sense to these types is only possible when they respect (fear) you, sometimes violence is the only language that'll get through. I was only ready to listen to advice when I was younger after I'd had a hiding and was licking my wounds wondering what went wrong. It still holds true with younger yobbos.
Did I warn the yobbos I have black belts in Jujutsu, Karate, Judo and Aikido and still run a club locally when they started? Oops, I must have forgotten to mention it in the heat of the moment and they never asked. Did I deliberately "adopt" a persona of just being an easy going middle aged bloke on his way to the allotment? Definitely.
I'm no Bruce Lee but experience made sure I got in there quick and I was nasty with it - I had to be, pre emptive is a lot easier than breathing out of my arrse trying to compete with youthful unboundless energy.
I've had a couple of cautions for having been a bit heavy handed, but on the whole the Police have taken the view I was outnumbered and they picked on the wrong guy.
Luck has played its part though and it might run out one day. In that case I'll just have to wheeze and cough and phlegm them into submission.
Liam
This lengthy post is also available in sarcastic.
If anyone's been adversely affected by the views I've expressed here, I've a box of sympathy in the freezer I can send you, but its probably years out of date.
Interesting reply and Im not surprised by the comments or the emotion you have put into the post. I had a similar upbringing as you. Went to the hardest school in the area, was constantly in trouble and fights, managed to narrowly miss jail, etc etc. but once I learnt that this wasnt the way I decided to try and help the kids not go down the same road that you and I had been down. Most of the youngsters are showing learnt behaviour from parents first, peers and then us. You are correct that there is little if any disciplin at the school or Bobbies on the beat. If it doesnt come from the parents then where does it come from? If our reaction is violence then it re enforces the violence they have grown up with. (there is a big difference between disciplin and violence). There are other ways and control of emotion and using it in a possitive way is one way or part of the way to tackle this problem. As you are a Martial artist I would have thought this was something you would be in a great possition to share. If you think I feel any different to you, in many ways you would be wrong. I choose to try and break the cycle of behaviour rather than ultimately encourage the behaviour to continue.
This clip has done the rounds but is still one of the best examples I've seen.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2pjYGqPPMmA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2pjYGqPPMmA
Oh just as an additional. The situation is bound to get worse. The Governments cuts are closing down most of the council run youth clubs, Stopping the detached youthwork projects on the streets, and the funding of preventetive work with young people and parents.
The Government are expecting charities and the voluntary sector to take on this work but the funding provided by councils has also been stopped as it isnt a manditory service. So either way it is going to get alot worse before it gets better.
The Government are expecting charities and the voluntary sector to take on this work but the funding provided by councils has also been stopped as it isnt a manditory service. So either way it is going to get alot worse before it gets better.
Whilst I admire the guy's restraint in that vid, technically he was letting him get much too close in the earlier "exchanges". He was wide open for a head-butt....
Castle law baby! its what I want, Its what you need! ME FOR PRESIDENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!of uni gate dairy's co operative(non political branch of the haribo pantechnicon institute)
No. With freedom comes responsibility. We all are responsible for our actions whether by law or morally. Im no soft touch and I believe in the event of being attacked using reasonable and appropriate force to defend yourself. (martial arts/physical restraint etc) but it must be legally justifyable in the court of law. I also believe that in the tough areas where teachers are not supported by the schools they work in that they have the right to defend themselves too. But how many of you would be straight down the school to complain if YOUR kid had been punched by a teacher? Disciplin or violence? Appropriate or not?)
The OP told us of a situation he put himself in because he felt it was the right thing to do. He supported the guy that was getting hassle, he challenged the behaviour of the one main instigator (leader) and walked away without adding something negative to the situation. The only damage being the spit that can be cleaned off and a bit of pride hurt may be because he felt he should have reacted. Well in my oppinion, for what its worth he did exactly the right thing.. He showed the young people that he was man enough to stand upto them dispite being out numbered and man enough not to react in a violent way under high provocation. Thats a man. Thats guts. Thats courage under fire. Hes got nothing to prove. Thats top notch. If the bus employees had come out instead of hiding behind the cameras and stood by him the yobs would have gone. Always good to be brave after the fact.
The OP told us of a situation he put himself in because he felt it was the right thing to do. He supported the guy that was getting hassle, he challenged the behaviour of the one main instigator (leader) and walked away without adding something negative to the situation. The only damage being the spit that can be cleaned off and a bit of pride hurt may be because he felt he should have reacted. Well in my oppinion, for what its worth he did exactly the right thing.. He showed the young people that he was man enough to stand upto them dispite being out numbered and man enough not to react in a violent way under high provocation. Thats a man. Thats guts. Thats courage under fire. Hes got nothing to prove. Thats top notch. If the bus employees had come out instead of hiding behind the cameras and stood by him the yobs would have gone. Always good to be brave after the fact.
He could have called the police, had the genetic evidence on him and as you suspect the video evidence of the offence, shappow!
Tristar, I understand where your coming from, I do.
But in that example on YouTube what else could he have done?
He did many things wrong, as others have said, the youth got too close too often and he was lucky not to be butted.
But one it escalated he was still controlled and didn't boot the guy while he was down etc.
I feel for you Corfe, those feelings and emotions playing it back can be our worst enemy sometimes. You handled it well, you didn't retaliate (you can strike first and be within the law if you feel threatened etc) and maybe if not the ring leader his companions may learn something.
It's always the ring leader that will push a little harder, one day he will either grow up, or end up inside.
Well done for the restraint shown.
But in that example on YouTube what else could he have done?
He did many things wrong, as others have said, the youth got too close too often and he was lucky not to be butted.
But one it escalated he was still controlled and didn't boot the guy while he was down etc.
I feel for you Corfe, those feelings and emotions playing it back can be our worst enemy sometimes. You handled it well, you didn't retaliate (you can strike first and be within the law if you feel threatened etc) and maybe if not the ring leader his companions may learn something.
It's always the ring leader that will push a little harder, one day he will either grow up, or end up inside.
Well done for the restraint shown.
The cameras record whether hes there or not. 2mins to call the Police. He recognised the "yobs" from previous incidents so knows the OP could do with support.
PS Thanks for the photo!
Agree. And its always easier in hind sight. What would I have done...Not opened the door!
yep...
thats a key part, it gives a value to all we do,..and teaches respect.
it doesnt happen now, why would you work like a Trojan now?
all you have to do is spit out a few babies and boom, you have a 3 bed semi and spending money for fags and booze,...
ok maybe i,m being slightly political,...but this is fairly close to the root of why the next generation is largley disrespectful.
The martial arts are my hobby but I've never used them as an instrument for turning folk around. I threw my weight about when learning them at first - it's natural for a wild laddie to want to see if they really work - so don't want that happening, because believe me it would.
The worn and tatty "get them into a boxing club - that'll turn them around" scenario is in many respects a fairy tale. There are more failures than successes. I've seen too many good people pour their heart into helping wayward teens and get it thrown back in their face. Why? Because they didn't come from the same background and the teens didn't rate them. They also couldn't stamp their authority with a good kicking now and again, as its not allowed by social work etc, but it gets the pack in line. Its not civilised and not PC but it works on a primal level. I've volunteered for two years with a charity that deals with the socially excluded and those that other charities have washed their hands of. The goody goody approach isn't working in a lot of cases unfortunately as it's all carrot and no stick. Some of the laddies need the stick approach as that is what'll make them sit up and notice unfortunately.
I actually respected authority as a teenager, as in; my Parents, Grandparents, Teachers, the Doctor and the Police. My family was loving, strict but fair and not one of them lifted a hand to me. It wasn't their fault I was rebellious and the black sheep of the family. I did well at school funnily enough and soaked up lessons like a sponge but eventually it bored me and I felt held back there. Later on I discovered I had a flair for languages and learned French, Spanish, Arabic and Japanese but that was in the future.
It was my own peer group that were the problem. It was quite vicious in fact and to get by meant you had to be able to hold your own. I enjoyed the fact that scrapping earned me respect and got me a bit of peace and quiet. Unfortunately my wild streak meant that I thrived on it and took it too far.
I was unaware of the fact that I was a big fish in a wee pond. That all changed when I joined up. In those days there was no ADHD, bi-polar, or such "issue" labels. I thought I'd walked into a lunatic asylum; the recruiters had lied!!!
Early days in basic was like herding cats and had it been up to me, my oppos wouldn't have been issued with a banana, never mind an SLR and ammo! But, they were exactly the blokes you needed in a tight spot. Discipline was harsh but it had to be, it was the only way to control a motley crew of arsonists, muggers, robbers etc - and that was just the bandsmen. It was exactly what I needed at the time to be honest.
Would I change anything? No, as its made me the easy going fella I am now. I've two grown up kids that I've never had to whack and who have a very switched on view of life and a wicked sense of humour.
I'm very fortunate and can count my blessings.
Liam
Sadly true and I agree with you Raikey.
I've been unemployed now off and on for over two years and its tough mentally, not just financially. How the career unemployed do it I don't know.
I've always been a workaholic and get very little help from the DWP etc as I don't qualify for help not having a drug problem, special needs or an incapacity, but then I don't milk the system like some I know.
Political? Quite right, it angers me when I see the Govt use adjudicators to re-assess those in real need to save money on DLA payouts etc.
Liam
Similar threads
