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Tweenies (8-12 year olds) Behaviourist Book Recommendation

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HeltorChasca

HeltorChasca

Nomad
Jan 1, 1970
273
3
Near the Mendips & Bath, Somerset
www.big-leaf.co.uk
Wonder if anyone has read any decent books on tweenies. I'm after a reference book for me to refer to in order to get an insight/assist with some interesting behavioural changes in our 8 year old daughter's patterns.

Some of the shifts are challenging, some interesting and some out of left field. Almost role playing teen behavior. Interested in a book that offers advice to keep us close rather than building resentment and rifts.

Many thanks all...............hc
 
Sorry to disappoint mate but kids don't come with instruction books,it's a steep learning curve for them and us.
 
I know very little about such animals...

...my hunch is shes simply got to the age in which shes becomming completley self aware
 
Heyho ,
Mine aren't old enough for me to offer any advice , I think I'll just wing it anyway when the time comes . But ( for unconnected reasons ) my partner and I get bombarded with information and recommendations . This authors name crops up a lot "Elizabeth Hartley-Brewer" . Not read any of her books myself though .
Cheers , Trev ,
 
8's the kind of age where they stop thinking of themselves as kids and start asserting themselves as individuals in their own right - laying the foundations for teen rebellion and independance.

Best advice I can offer is pick your battles wisely. Some things you need to stand your ground, some things need you to lay down the law and be the allmightly - other things need to to shut the hell up and let it go.

Knowing when to do what is instinct / luck / guesswork / all of the above. Trick is, there is no wrong or right.

If all else fails, phone mum.
 
I know where you're coming from, At the minute i have a Grumpy 12 nearly 13 year old Kevin the , " I hate you" Teenager. A 10 year old Lad that is on a mission to wind up said grumpy 12 year old 24/7, And a daughter Who is 5 going on 15.

The Eldest, we think, judging by the fact, He has more mood swings than a Pre menstrual woman, Is going through puberty early.

The only advice i can give is Listen to what they have to say, Take it on board, Sit down and talk to them, All kid's come with default settings. They come out with the weirdest things at the strangest of times.
 
Anyone of any each is a result of their total environment and their interpretation of it, sort of Gestalt theory. Also we learn from what we see and experience from our environment and we pay more regard to those we identify with, sort of Boulby's theory of vicarious learning.
We used two books with ours four children: 1, 2, 3 Magic whose author I cannot recall and 'Parenting the Strong Willed Child'. Whilst neither provided all the answers they did provide a thinking framework upon which to hang our own experience of parenting and provided structure to the interpritation of our and our childrens behaviour.
PM if you wish to share further thoughts, having an ear for yourself is often as valuable as listening to others.
 
I’m sorry to say, but I’ve nothing helpful that can be said, without seeming mean, but if you’ve* ever though “I’m sick and tired of telling (insert child’s name) to (pick up sort our tidy up do something relatively minor) and then not told them to (pick up sort our tidy up do something relatively minor) you’ve only yourself to blame if they fail to do as you ask/tell/advise them now.
If’n you* have to tell them a hundred times to do what they need to do, and keep on telling them until they do it, or if you have to remind them “to be polite”, or not to take on “an attitude”, or “tone of voice” but you* keep on plugging away until around about the time hell freezes.
You’ll be ok.
Kids need to know where the boundaries are, and they find them by pushing against them until they give, or you push them back into line.

* Generic you, not you you
My little monster is 11 going on Teen.
 
As a slight hijack of the thread, when did "parent" become a verb? Parent is a noun. I am a parent. I do not "parent" my child. Its one on the horrible made up words. I am a parent. I might raise, teach, admonish, educate or discipline a child, but I cannot parent a child any more than I can author a book or artist a painting.
 
I became a parent a little earlier this year and, to be fair, I don't really know what I'm doing apart from my best. He's 6 months old now and coming on in leaps and bounds and is bright as a button. I've kind of resigned myself to the fact that in modern times I haven't a clue what's going on but can only be there for little Alfred and support him in whatever he does, feed and clothe him, teach him what I know and teach him to uphold his manners and to be his best mate. Whether it'll work out or not I don't know, other than that I'm stumped. :dunno:
 
i agree with lucan listen to what they have to say but give them bounderies and try and lead by example regards dave
 
I have no children but this is my favourite age group to teach. They spend a lot of time in their own little childhood world but have a great knowledge of what (they think) goes on in the wider world.
 
Hmm still think the verb "to parent" is revoltingly twee, I don't recall hearing it more than ten years ago.

Back to the subject in hand, I agree firm boundaries are a must. Explain why a rule exists and then stick to it. Don't negotiate with children, set rules and follow them. Reward good behaviour and punish bad behaviour.

Don't waste too much time on reading books. Be there for your children. Read to them, do things with them, but remember you are no their friend, you are their parent.

Red
 
British Red said:
As a slight hijack of the thread, when did "parent" become a verb? Parent is a noun. I am a parent. I do not "parent" my child. Its one on the horrible made up words. I am a parent. I might raise, teach, admonish, educate or discipline a child, but I cannot parent a child any more than I can author a book or artist a painting.
Click to expand...

Parent or pedant? :lmao:



Please take this in good humour I don't want to be flamed.
 
All very constructive advice. Thank you. Don't get me wrong it's not doom and gloom at all. 99% of the time, being a Dad to an 8 year old girl who wants to please, soak up everything you know and unknowingly make you a better person is why we have kids. OK so our 11 month old isn't in the same league, but hey ho, I can change a nappy hanging upside down from a tree without complaint!

As a person I like to get things right before they spiral into anything messy. I am a very strong self teacher/learner and in the past I like to have a infrastructure/framework to base/mould my instinct on and act positively. I was taught as a young boy to respect everybody because the next man/woman, no matter who, are what their circumstances are, will be better at something than you and you should learn from that. I want to get some tit-bits of advice from these expert authors. Don't worry - I don't believe everything I read, so I do question anything suspect or different to our family values. So far I have only had to learn from my mistakes a few times, but that's a whole new story.

I have already taken loads of very useful ideas from all of your opinions on this thread so thank you all for your unassuming wisdom...............hc
 
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