Top ten myths about introverts

[kennyboy]

Yes, I'm an introvert!
There, I've said it and I fell fine.
I suspect a lot of people here are introverts like me. We 'have a need' to be by ourselves and enjoy our own company.
Just because we don't 'fit' into a group doesn't mean we are bad people.
We are strange and exotic creatures.
If one of your friends is introverted, then you have a friend for life.

Discuss!


Top ten myths about introverts
Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk.
This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days.

Myth #2 – Introverts are shy.
Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don’t interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. Don’t worry about being polite.

Myth #3 – Introverts are rude.
Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting.

Myth #4 – Introverts don’t like people.
On the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you’re in.

Myth #5 – Introverts don’t like to go out in public.
Nonsense. Introverts just don’t like to go out in public FOR AS LONG. They also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities. They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don’t need to be there for long to “get it.” They’re ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial for Introverts.

Myth #6 – Introverts always want to be alone.
Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time.

Myth #7 – Introverts are weird.
Introverts are often individualists. They don’t follow the crowd. They’d prefer to be valued for their novel ways of living. They think for themselves and because of that, they often challenge the norm. They don’t make most decisions based on what is popular or trendy.

Myth #8 – Introverts are aloof nerds.
Introverts are people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their thoughts and emotions. It’s not that they are incapable of paying attention to what is going on around them, it’s just that their inner world is much more stimulating and rewarding to them.

Myth #9 – Introverts don’t know how to relax and have fun.
Introverts typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places. Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies. If there is too much talking and noise going on, they shut down. Their brains are too sensitive to the neurotransmitter called Dopamine. Introverts and Extroverts have different dominant neuro-pathways. Just look it up.

Myth #10 – Introverts can fix themselves and become Extroverts.
Introverts cannot “fix themselves” and deserve respect for their natural temperament and contributions to the human race. In fact, one study (Silverman, 1986) showed that the percentage of Introverts increases with IQ.


Source: carlkingcreative.com

 

[TeeDee]

+1. For me , at least that was spot on. But I don't like to talk about it..

 

[Stew]

I'm mainly an introvert but it's hard to shoe horn people into categories too much, I think.

 

[TeeDee]

I would add:-

Myth 11# Introverts are incapable of being aggressive.

How wrong!

 

[Chainsaw]

Hmm sounds like I'm just shy then.... Tbh reads like it was written by an introvert trying to big themselves up. I think people are shades of grey, way too complex to categorised, depending on how strongly someone fitted the introvert bill, you could throw in a couple more characteristics and it could be borderline aspergers. Meh, doesn't really matter, people are people and will interact differently. Interesting post.CheersAlan

 

[Toddy]

That describes a couple of family members to a T.

cheers,
Toddy

 

[ged]

...Discuss!...

Good post, but I don't think the News of the World potted psychology helps a lot. As others have said, people are far too complex to classify with a few pre-printed stickers.

The first thing I'd ask is "Are you happy with what you are?"

When I was younger, for what seemed to me to be a very long time, to be perfectly honest I wasn't happy with what I was. I was different. I didn't know why. For a start I was left handed in a right handed world and although you may laugh at the notion now, being left handed when I was a child in the community that I grew up in was a stigma. My grandfather almost wouldn't admit it, and at school I often had to sit at the back of the classroom with a special exercise book being taught how to write all over again. I knew that I could write perfectly well (and spell with the best of them) but the letters all sloped the 'wrong way' and for some reason the copper-plated schoolteachers didn't like it. That was pretty confusing for one of the most intelligent and gifted eight year olds that the school had ever seen. The intelligence was another handicap. I used to ask awkward questions (like why did they want me to write stupid things in this stupid exercise book? and why did they smoke cigarettes?) and in later school life that got me branded as a troublemaker. All I really wanted was to understand why so many things seemed to be so incredibly stupid. After a while I decided it was best to stop asking. People started to say I was an introvert, but really I was just keeping my mouth shut for fear of the consequences.

As I grew older I began to understand. The teachers were doing the best they could, which (again, to be perfectly honest) left a lot to be desired. My grandfather was just a poorly educated miner wanting the best for his family, and the best, as far as he was concerned, was to be 'normal', to be able to get a job at one of the few places he knew about which would offer employment to someone 'normal', and perhaps, hopefully, to be able to use hand tools with the great skills which he had taught himself. Well I can use hand tools now, and I've taught myself a few other skills. I never achieved his level of skill in woodwork, but even so it's a shame he can't see the evidence of what I can do. While writing this I've realized that although he loved us more than life itself I think I was always a disappointment to him, and that's causing me some pain. But I know now that if he could see what I've achieved through grim determination if nothing else he'd be proud. He died when I was eleven from a lung disease caused by his employment. There was never any admission of liability by the National Coal Board, never any compensation to his widow, despite nearly forty years of trying, and the lawyers made a fortune as you will probably have read. Just one of the things that seemed to me to be incredibly stupid. You don't have to look very far today, nor very hard, to see more than you can possibly cope with. Stand on a bridge on almost any motorway in the UK on a Friday night. We're still working to a timetable set for us in the Middle Ages by people who thought the Earth is flat. It's insane.

As I started to become my own person instead of trying to be something someone else wanted me to be, things became a lot simpler. If they weren't happy with what I was, that was their problem not mine. I don't see why I should make life-changing decisions like getting married and having grandchildren of my own just to satisfy the barely understood primeval instincts afflicting members of my family and social groups. I didn't hold my tongue quite so much. There are too many of us already. I said so. It didn't always make for a smooth passage and once someone even called me a "mouthy sucker". Well there was a different consonant at the beginning of that second word.

That's life, I suppose, nothing I can't handle now but in the early years it was sometimes tough going. I still have to grit my teeth when I look at the way we do a lot of things. For example, I've never smoked. I've always enforced a non-smoking policy in my businesses. It's perfectly legal for the newsagent to sell cigarettes to my employees, which will certainly damage their health when they smoke them, but now I'm the one who gets fined two and a half grand if they light up on my premises. Go figure.

It's a topsy-turvy world, and there are still so many things we don't understand. I think you need to admit that you don't understand them. Then you have a base from which to work, and you can start to make some progress, and while you're making progress it's easier, much easier, to be happy with what you are.

I'm different. But then we're all different in lots of different ways. Now, I'm happy with what I am. Very happy, actually.

 

[HillBill]

All sounds about right

 

[Bardster]

Count me in for that one

 

[Stew]

Perhaps look at mbti stuff to see where you fit as well. More choices than just introvert extrovert.

 

[Swallow]

That's a good map. Does that mean we can stop describing ourselves as "anti-social" to extroverts now?

 

[Maggot]

The thing I would like to discuss in the OP is the statement "If one of your friends is introverted, then you have a friend for life." Why? Don't introverts fall out with people? Don't introverts argue? If you are an introvert, does that mean you can't be a bit of an idiot? The list you quote is like an introverts manifesto, there are plenty of arrogant, selfish, punch in the head introverts.

Indeed, Peter Sutcliffe, Fred West, Harold Shipman, Beverly Allitt all fit the profile of introverts. Look what they did, very extrovert acts of public brutality.

People are extremely complex, look at some of the work of Jung, he nails it. Basically Jung says that you have behaviour functions, and when your dominant is extrovert, your secondary is introverted. When your primary is introverted your secondary is extroverted. So, you may be extroverted in the local with your mates, gregarious life and soul. Put you in a Government Cabinet meeting and you may not say a word.

We are, thankfully, much more complex than a pointless list can suggest.

 

[Tengu]

Bigging them self up

 

[EmmaD]

What absolute and utter nonsense. For the last decade or
so Government and corporate sectors have tried to pigeon hole people, and so making those sectors easier to deal with. Corporations and businesses like to categorize you into four sectors. Blue, green, yellow and red. It is bolllocks. Individuals are exactly that. Individual. Categorization cannot. Does not. And will never work. It makes me incredibly angry during meetings when they assess profiles and look in their book for the best way to deal with you. Utter corporate crap.

 

[Laurentius]

I don't buy into the easy stereotypes that a person has to be one thing or the other all of the time. I like to spend time on my own, and even go so far as being people avoidant at times, however that does not mean I cannot have a good time out with a few friends either. I have a public persona and a private one entirely consistent with each other.

 

[woodspirits]

ged, you really need to stop waffling on!, oops, that was myth#3. damn! and i thought it was just another list .... (just kidding mate)

 

[Ronnie]

I don't buy into the easy stereotypes that a person has to be one thing or the other all of the time. I like to spend time on my own, and even go so far as being people avoidant at times, however that does not mean I cannot have a good time out with a few friends either. I have a public persona and a private one entirely consistent with each other.

I completely agree - personality isn't a constant. That being said, the whole Myers-Briggs test thing is interesting. I wouldn't be surprised if the BCUK population was weighted around a few of the rarer personality types!

 

[woodspirits]

What absolute and utter nonsense. For the last decade or
so Government and corporate sectors have tried to pigeon hole people, and so making those sectors easier to deal with. Corporations and businesses like to categorize you into four sectors. Blue, green, yellow and red. It is bolllocks. Individuals are exactly that. Individual. Categorization cannot. Does not. And will never work. It makes me incredibly angry during meetings when they assess profiles and look in their book for the best way to deal with you. Utter corporate crap.

err, ... myth #3 then is it emm ? (think leonard rossiter to miss jones)

 

[EmmaD]

err, ... myth #3 then is it emm ?

Only if you would class me as an introvert. And even I have to confess my profiles to date put me on the opposite end of that particular scale. None of the introverts I know are rude. Except the socially inept ones. But does that then mean they are extroverts. No. It just means pigeon holing people does
not work

 

[BobvanVelzen]

Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies.

Im quite introvert, but still feel some need to see my few good friends every now and then. But I Love adrenaline, I enjoy various "extreme sports" like climbing, ATBing and such. I just don't feel the need to do this with many people around me. Just my fellow introvert friends, Who also enjoy being silent. So we could go climbing, and not have smalltalk for hours.