Now I can't answer the sandwich crusts query, but I do know this one after being invited to an Army medical dinner (now look what you've started Red!):
ARMY MEDICAL SERVICES PORT RULES
Charging/Movement of the port.
1. At the end of the desert course, tables are to be cleared with the exception of port glasses and decorative silver.
2. The Mess Manager will inform the PMC when all tables have been cleared, and the port decanters are in place.
3. The Presiding Member will remove the stopper of the first decanter, and pour the port of the Guest of Honour, situated immediately to his/her right hand side. He/She will then pour his/her own port before sliding the decanter to the guest/member to his/her left.
4. Once the Presiding Member has done so, those who have had a decanter placed in front of them will remove the stopper and retain it on the table in front of them. They will charge their glass and slide the decanter to the next person in a clockwise direction. At no point will the decanter lose contact with the table. Each member will charge their glass and continue the movement, passing to the left each time.
5. The port is always to be circulated in a clockwise direction, from member to member, until the circuit is completed. Where ladies are in attendance, the member should fill the glass of the lady on his left, before his own, then pass the decanter to the front of the lady to the member on her left.
6. It is a breach of etiquette to delay the passage of the decanters.
7. Those members who receive a decanter from their right, whilst having a stopper in front of them, are to slide the decanter to a position alongside the stopper. The stoppers are not to be replaced.
8. The Mess Manager will inform the PMC when all glasses have been charged. The Mess Manager will also inform the Bandmaster/Director (where present), before temporarily retiring for the duration of the toasts.
The toasts.
9. The sequence and format of the toast shall be as follows:
a. The first toast is The Loyal Toast. The PMC will strike the gavel 3 times and will say:
Mr/Madam Vice The Queen.
Mr/Madam Vice will rise, pick up their port glass, hold it waist high and say:
Ladies and Gentlemen, please be upstanding for the loyal toast.
All members and guests will rise, pick up their port glass and hold it waist high. Mr/Madam Vice will then pronounce:
The Queen.
All members and guests will reply:
The Queen.
All members and guests will then sip their port and resume their seats. (N.B. if a Band is present, the National Anthem will be played upon Mr/Madam Vices pronouncement, and on the last note members and guests will reply.)
b. Further toasts may follow in the same format as above. Other toasts may include the Colonel in Chief or Colonels in Chief where mixed cap badges are present. If a foreign guest or guests are present, it is courteous to toast the head(s) of state of their respective Nations, in alphabetical order. Commonwealth guests are not to be considered foreign, as the loyal toast is appropriate to them.
10. After the final toast, Mess staff may serve cheese, biscuits, coffee, mints and liqueurs, etc. and port decanters may be passed around without ceremony thereafter. Where a Band is present, the Bandmaster/Director may take port with the Presiding Member.
