Not doing too well...

[Oblio13]

I can never think of anything appropriate to say in situations like this. I suppose nothing appropriate exists. In person, I'd just sit quietly and not say anything. On the internet, all I can come up with is to remind you that plenty of people have gone through this before you, and plenty will go through it after you. It's a kick in the stomach, but it gets better.

 

[Shambling Shaman]

You have my condolences, Keep an eye on your Dad but mined your self as well. I know all to well the strain of being the strong one for everyone els.

 

[Wilderbeast]

condolences, look after yourself and your dad, thats what family is for

 

[xylaria]

Friend came with cards `I never thought of her as a stepmother`

Nor did I..what do I put on the floral tribute?

.

Freinds of mine whose parent becomes widowed, tend to address the card using the first name the of the one that has past away, if that is any help. My husband had a elderly aunt whose female partner of 30 years died, and no-one knew what to put on the card. It was before civil partnerships were legal.

I never know what to say to people that are grieving. It is hardest human emotion to understand. It is hard seeing people you love in pain. I always feel like I going to say the wrong thing, because I can't work out what the right thing to say is, so I say nothing. Like you I look to where I could be practical help, in truth there is limit to how much practical stuff can be done. I find it normal to feel helpless because in the end of the day you can't fix what is making everyone hurt, even if you wish you could.

My blessings to you and your family.

 

[Mike Ameling]

Be sure YOU are also taking care of Yourself. Have a few family/friends "putter about" the house with you as well. Nothing fancy/elaborate. Just sharing some everyday normal stuff. It helps. It is too easy to seek isolation in times like this. You may not have been very close, but a connection was still made. So that whole "grieving" cycle still needs to be gone through.

As I said before, sometimes just that presence of another person nearby means more than idle/awkward conversation. Plus watch out for overindulgence on the inevitable food that gets dropped off. Some is good and a comfort, but ...


And be careful in this weather! I don't know how yours is right now, but I had -33 last night and -25 the night before! (Farenheit of course) It got up to near Zero this afternoon. And they are now predicting low 20's with snow and possibly freezing rain tomorrow! Near record cold to another Ice Storm in 24 hours! Winter! Rah rah.

Mikey - that grumpy ol' German blacksmith out in the FROZEN Hinterlands

p.s. My one uncle found a "friend" after my aunt passed on. She was always referred to as "and special friend" or by her first name. And their kids just referred to her by first name - except for a couple who could not get past the idea of someone else besides their mother being with their father. After he passed on, they were a little sorry for their views.

 

[Barney]

sorry to hear about these sad times Tengu, keep your chin up best as.


as has already been stated you cant look after anyone else unless you are looking after yourself.