How to fall out of a hammock...

[Harvestman]

...in style.

(as I demonstrated this afternoon)

1. Forget to take along the tree straps and whoopie slings.
2. Realise that this means you will have to suspend the dyneema cords directly from some small branch stub.
3. Select a suitable looking short dead branch that isn't as sturdy as it looks.
4. Set up hammock.
5. Get in.
6. Branch snaps immediately.
7. Land in sitting position on steep slope, facing uphill.
8. Start to roll backwards downhill at terrifying speed.
9. Stop rolling backwards after about half a second when the back of your head hits a tree growing just downslope.
10. Come to a dazed stop in a sort of half-sitting, half lying down position, with your feet higher than your head.
11. Decide that it would be a good idea just to stay still for a few seconds and collect your wits.
12. Sit still.
13. Look at dead branch with dyneema cord attached to it, which seems to have landed in you lap.
14. Realise that said branch is no longer attached to the tree as it had been a few seconds ago.
15. Decide to get up.
16. Flail about wildly whilst discovering that getting up from this position is not as easy at it seems in theory.
17. Stand up.
18. Look around frantically.
19. Thank the stars there were no witnesses.
    

I hope that you find this tutorial useful. Feel free to get out there and try it for yourself.

(No bushcrafters were hurt in the making of this tutorial, even if they deserved to be for being so stupid)

 

[Jinsin456]

The best one I ever done was the first time I tried out my dd hammock. Had one too many and forgot to partially zip up the mosquito net as I got end. Ended up moving further and further forward towards the narrow more unbalanced end of the hammock and the next thing I knew I was lying upside down as the midge net had caught me.

Ended up basically having to fall out onto a big patch of moss was rather funny

 

[Dreadhead]

hahah thats braw, i bet you did the double take when you stood up tae check naeone saw you. tis when you know youv embarrassed yourself

 

[RonW]

LOL....

Can't help but seeing this scene in a cartoonstyle.....

LOL

 

[Wayland]

Oof... I feel your pain.

 

[mace242]

Photos or it didn't happen

 

[pauljm116]

You were very lucky there were no witnesses. Whenever that sort of thing happens to me I get up look around and find that at least 10 people came out of nowhere and are asking me if I'm alright, which is even more embarassing than just laughing at me.

You'll never go anywhere without your tree straps and slings now though.

 

[Harvestman]

Photos or it didn't happen

The camera was in my pocket. Somehow I didn't have time to get it out...