Ever not known how you feel about something?

[British Red]

I've just picked the thyme I hung up to dry clean of stalks, and stowed it away in little jars, and as I worked at it I thought about your original post BR.
I think it's to do with scale. At the domestic level, the smallholding level, we're careful, we pick over and store the best and use up in timely fashion the crops that are either bruised, or they've been got at a wee bit, or even that there's a glut or the season's by and they're not quite ripe (tomatoes ) but to see entire fields just grubbed up and pulped with not a thought to the variety of use and foods just feels totally alien, wrong, not right.

My tuppence hap'worth

atb,
M

You've probably nailed it there Mary!

 

[Toddy]

I was a full time stay at home Mum; the silence in the house when the boys both went to secondary school drove me out. I could find plenty to do, loads of things to be involved with, but the silence in the home; that was hard. They weren't even home for lunch anymore.

It's as rich a life for your family having Mum (or Dad) at home as you choose to make it
I'm lucky, the village we live in was still a 'village' then, it was (and I suppose still is really) a very family and social place. Those Mums who went out to work full time lost that connection. They didn't have time to shop locally, catch up with the gossip, talk to the ladies who minded the mother in law, or who my Granny terrified when she was president of the Women's Guild when they were young Mums themselves or quietly hear who needed a wee hand, or who'd had a new baby, or who'd flitted, they didn't have time for the committees and the events, or to take cubs, scouts, beavers, guides, brownies, bb's, gb's, anchor boys, etc., They made time for the school visits, for church on Sunday, but life was busy, busy, busy and it's only now as many are retiring that faces that have been missing for a while are slowly reappearing.
Basically they lost the social networking of village life.
I know that that's not something that matters to you BR, but it does to an awful lot of people; it's how we keep in touch with our world around us. It's how the ebbs and flows of the seasons go through the social round mixed in with the realities of life of hundreds of families.

Yes housework can be reduced to a very efficient routine, but a relaxed family home full of contented people is a quiet delight.
Mine's a bit quiet these days, I miss having children around.

Each to their own; with the financial expectations nowadays rarely is one salary sufficient, so needs must for most folks.

My elderly Auntie reckons she and her sisters and friends had the best lives, I reckon my generation's doing not so bad I feel kind of sorry for the younger ones though, too many are finding it hard to juggle family, work, expectations, time for themselves, etc.,

atb,
M

 

[British Red]

OH I do it too Mary - hung out with the neighbours today - they are going on holiday so I was checking their holding over so I can tend the stock and crops and all the rest. Could have done it in half an hour but stopped for tea and a chat. I'm just self aware enough to recognise the chat and tea for the idleness that it is compared to working for a living

As you say the full time "housewife" is a rarity now - I just hope those doing it appreciate how lucky they are (as I do). Its great to have the time to catch up on the gossip and hang out with the neighbours and even time to lend a hand - many a working person would love to do just that

 

[Toddy]

I think they would, I think they miss a kind of richness in small detail in life. The years whirl by and they're gone before they know it; but the reality is that they need to work, so they do what they can and find time to breathe when they have a chance.

On that note, I dug out a bottle of elderflower syrup this afternoon (one of those blasted Kilner ones ) and it's got a layer of mould on the top
I'm hoping it's like jam and can just be lifted off, but I am beyond vexed with these blooming bottles.
I sterlised them, and their corks. I heated the bottles in the oven and only reattached the wires and plastic bits just before I poured the syrup into them.
I think I need to pressure cook these, but the glass is full of bubbles and I'm wary about any pressure on them.
Any suggestions for sommat practical to do to rescue this ?

cheers,
M

 

[British Red]

Sling it Mary - and pressure can it in Litre jars with a two part lid next time, then decant into a bottle for using. Not worth a jippy tummy

 

[Toddy]

Pretty much what I thought, just I hate to waste it, and the last bottle tasted so very good
Sod's law.

M

 

[santaman2000]

......Each to their own; with the financial expectations nowadays rarely is one salary sufficient, so needs must for most folks......

Agreed. But It might be harder to determine whether the financial need causes the spouse to have to work, or if spouses working creat the financial need. What I mean is that yes it takes two salaries to support the average family now-a-days. But then again, since most spouses are working doesn't that mean we have essentially double the workforce that would exist if only one spouse worked? And doesn't that larger workforce drive down the salaries because of supply and demand?

 

[santaman2000]

That's okay - I'm still marvelling at you coming over all politically correct and girly

Yeah, me too. It ain't really like me is it?

 

[santaman2000]

The one that makes me laugh is the idea that being a "Home maker" is a full time job! I've done it - it isn't! Even when raising small children it isn't. Oh sure you can make it occupy the time, but if you are up, dressed and breakfasted and getting on with it before 7am (as I was working), running non stop like a demented thing (as I was when I was working), you soon run out of things to do. There are only so many cupboards to clean, walls to paint, clothes to wash, stories to read etc.

Before I hear the howls, bear in mind I'm not saying it is important - it's just not that time consuming if you really go at it. Look how many hours a week it takes a cleaner to look after the average house. Throw in some laundry and cooking and there you have it. Looking after kids? Well teachers manage to look after 30 at a time - it hardly needs one on one attention all the time. So, as I say, great job, valuable job, fun job - just not hard.

Agreed the basic household chores can be done fairly quickly and easily (well maybe the cooking takes a bit more skill if you really want good food) That's why housekeepers and maids get paid less than many other jobs.

But then again, I suppose that's why I'd also call someone who does the household chores a housewife. To qualify as a home-maker takes something more intangible and difficult to describe.

 

[British Red]

A cocktail frock and a dry Martini to greet you after work?

 

[RonW]

Any suggestions for sommat practical to do to rescue this ?

cheers,
M

Dip the top with cork in some hot wax or parafine, so it is completely airtight.

As for the rest; couldn't agree more, Mary. Many do not take the time to be socially active and I do feel that that is a CHOICE they make. It is possible to live on one fulltime paycheck or 2 partime ones, but that does mean not having a tv with dvd-player in every room, iphones and ipads for the entire family, an Audi and BMW on the driveway etc. People could do with a lot less these days, but "everyone" tells them they do "need" that stuff.

 

[santaman2000]

A cocktail frock and a dry Martini to greet you after work?

That would definitely influence the decision!

 

[Toddy]

Somehow the image of British Red or Santaman2000 in a cocktail frock just doesn't quite compute

M

 

[British Red]

Ahhh but you never knew me in my Rocky Horror days

 

[santaman2000]

Dip the top with cork in some hot wax or parafine, so it is completely airtight.

As for the rest; couldn't agree more, Mary. Many do not take the time to be socially active and I do feel that that is a CHOICE they make. It is possible to live on one fulltime paycheck or 2 partime ones, but that does mean not having a tv with dvd-player in every room, iphones and ipads for the entire family, an Audi and BMW on the driveway etc. People could do with a lot less these days, but "everyone" tells them they do "need" that stuff.

There's a lot of truth in that. But even apart from the frills we can do without, there's a lot of expensive necessities: braces for the kids' crooked teeth, unexpected car repairs, and yes, when a teenager gets his or her drivers' license, another car (albeit a cheaper used one) plus the additional insurance at teeanage rates. I know some might not think that's a necessity but the alternative would be worse as said teenager needs to begin his or her first job as well and nobody will consider hiring anybody without a DL and a car.

 

[santaman2000]

Somehow the image of British Red or Santaman2000 in a cocktail frock just doesn't quite compute

M

There's a vast difference between wearing one, and getting into one

 

[Ecoman]

I'm in a very fortunate situation where my missus is the bread winner and she loves her job. She also wants me to be at home to manage the cash, sort the house and generally be there for her and our daughter.

Since leaving school I was never more than a few days unemployed before leaping into another job. Even when I went back to University to get a degree in multimedia when I was 27, I still held down a full time job as a coach driver working at a National Express franchise. When our daughter was born six years ago we discussed at length which of us would be the stay at home parent until our daughter was old enough (18 months) to be taken into a nursery during the day. It was obvious that Cathy was at a difficult time in her career and she didn't want to miss out on the opportunities that she was being presented with. 4 months later I then gave up an excellent job to become a house husband and she was back at work. I was now immersed in a world of nappies and night feeds. Up to this point I had never been truly out of work and I found the situation to be completely alien. It was really difficult to embrace the whole stay at home Dad thing and I got many a strange look from mothers when taking Heather to playgroup and coffee mornings.

When it was time for Heather to go to a nursery and me to go back to work I jumped at the chance! It was great when I finally dropped Heather off and skipped off to work, packed lunch under arm. The illusion lasted all of six months!! We noticed when one of us was with her for a week she was a happy toddler and always smiling, giggling and playing nice. A few weeks of Cathy and I working and her being at nursery she would be moody and sad and always crying. She also didn't want to be left alone. We swapped nurserys to one where all her friends were and all was fine for a while and then it started to happen again. The decision needed to be made there and then as to what would be the course of action as we wanted the best for our child. OK so we wouldn't be able to afford the latest gizmos and gadgets but the welfare and happiness of our daughter and a happy home life was more important that a new PS3 or shiny Range Rover on the drive.

I started to work from home as a travel consultant for the oil industry and made a small amount of money doing that (probably as much as earning a proper wage and then spending a large chunk on childcare). It wasn't much but it made me feel less of a sponger (not that I was anyway but its nice to earn your own spending money).

When Heather went to school I got a job as a Base Superintendent for a subsea excavation company. It was a great job and well paid but it came with an element of commitment, out of hours work and pressure. This impacted on the family big time and Cathy and I found home life more stressful even though we now had a stash of cash that we had not seen for a long time. When Cathy was offered the job on Arran it was an extremely hard decision but we knew it was an opportunity we would be foolish to pass up. So after some serious toing and froing I jacked in my job and spent 4 months renovating our house so we could put it on the market.

Since moving to Arran we have found live is a lot more stress free, we spend lots of quality time together and as I'm at home during the day, we don't have to worry about cleaning or cooking taking up our evenings and we even get to sit down for meals as a family which before was a rarity. As soon as a part time job comes up where I can still be there to put Heather on the bus in the morning and meet her at night, I will be jumping on it. Until then I will be content in the knowledge that I'm a kept man, my job is a house husband/stay at home Dad/Home maker and very lucky to be in this position. I have nothing to be ashamed of and seeing our daughter smiling as she sees me after school will be one of my fondest memories when I'm old and infirm (shut it! Stop sniggering at the back!!)

Do I want the extra cash...hell yes!

Would I sacrifice what it could buy me for the happiness of my family...hell no!

 

[santaman2000]

Ecoman you're just getting a head start on what it's like to be a retiree and a grandparent. The duties are much the same.

 

[Ecoman]

Woo hoo! I can't wait!!!.....only 25 years to go and I might be at retiring age....pending government legislation of course

 

[xylaria]

Ecoman you have made some really admirable life choices there. Looking after a baby is hardest job i have ever done, parenting is most important job in the world. A walk along a freezing beach, under a full 180 degree skyscape beats any gagdet.
You might find you have been stitched up for a state pension.