"dont let kids outside!"

[Corso]

Problem is services like WCS have to follow up these calls, I work in the NHS and have strict guidance/ required manditory training etc. re child safety and we don't treat any pediatric patients at all in my hospital. Its probably a heavy workload rather than a jobsworth attitude that drove the phone call.

Didn't you have some issues with the RSPCA some time back fish? - sounds like you have some issue with the locals

 

[Toddy]

Boisterous, noisy, very active, "wild as the heather", children, regardless of how courteous they actually are, worry some folks.
Especially older people who don't have youngsters around their lives any more, or those who are worried about things like cars and bikes and balls, or peace and privacy before all else.

They might well be your little angels, but other folks who have to listen to them, might not agree.

Nasty thing to do to a neighbour though rather than just having a quiet word.

On the whole we're very quiet here, even the local children (who do play outdoors all year long) but a neighbour's daughter whose children live in the city brings them here to visit, and it's suddenly like mayhem. They don't know how to play without yelling, screaming, crashing into things. They're allowed out to play really late too for just into primary school kids (10.30pm)
It's almost like two different species of children, it really is.
I like hearing the local kids out playing, bikes, squabbles the lot, but the visitors grate somehow yet other grandchildren come to play and they just fit in like all the other children.

They run around, they ride their bikes, scooters, play with balls, etc., they take their dogs out to play with them, they climb trees, they skiddle around down the burn, but they don't seem to feel the need to scream and shout with every breath.

Sorry Justin, that's not a slight at you; I've never met your family, just an observation.

I hope you get things settled quickly and without any further bother

M

 

[Tengu]

Yes, that is what I was thinking, some curtain twitcher.

 

[xylaria]

The SS can be worse the rspca. Be very very careful.

The correct phrase to use is " the insinuating idea that I or my wife have committed neglect has caused us alarm and distress, and to have written in an official letter we find libellous. "

The phrase alarm and distress is important, I dont know why but it makes offical bodies back off, having an insinuating comment that causes you harm to your reputation as a parent is libel.

The daily mail loves these stories. But seriously tread very very carefully.

By the way I feel like grassing my nieghbour, her kids are out all hours, she smacks them that hard I can hear it and swears at them in way that that would shock a squady.

 

[mountainm]

Maybe not a good idea to post up her name on a public forum - you could be leaving the forum liable if there's any dispute about it.

 

[santaman2000]

I think my reply would have been, "Why yes. Yes they do. Just like children are supposed to do. Is there a problem?"

 

[mountainm]

Also she probably has a duty to call you - especially given the Baby P and other recent incidents - I bet their processes have all been tightened up beyond reason since then so they pursue everything - again, she's probably only doing her job based on some other nosey neighbour so I wouldn't drag her name into it...

 

[Fraxinus]

Fishfish, am I correct in remembering you home school your children? If so, that may be the crux of the issue. Too many people resort to jumping the gun on things they know nothing about or to use that lovely word "assume" they know. Wouldn't it be nice if they just dropped by and asked a question? no harm no foul. I had a note on my camper to say "you need to tax this or else" Two days after I taxed it under the new regime of no tax discs!!!
Sorry that you had a worrying weekend, that is really unfair and I think Xylaria's comment above is spot on "alarm and distress etc."
atb Rob.

 

[Bowlander]

My 6 year old lad left the house at 6.30 this morning to help the neighbours scan their sheep at the pens, he came back for lunch, then back out until 4.30. Its great for his confidence and independence. Watching him concentrate while turning sheep through the gate opposite was great.

 

[Tom Gold]

Fishfish, so sorry to hear this mate, and respect for the philosophical way in which you are handling it.

I tell myself regularly that because my kids are growing up in a completely different world from the one I grew up that I need to be open minded and not try to model their childhood on mine.

Then I read something like this.

Anyway, I'm sure you dont need anyone to tell you you are doing the right thing but I hope you are taking comfort from the sane and supportive messages here,

Cheers,

T

 

[Toddy]

It sounds like a great childhood Justin; but did the neighbour really want a six year old under foot to 'help' at that time of the morning ?

I'm probably going to be shouted down for this, but the last thing I'd want is some neighbour's very young child underfoot, and unwittingly under my responsibility as I became de facto babysitter for the day.
Sheep aren't exactly lightweight, and having been knocked down by the 'pest' lambs in my own childhood, I can truthfully say they're not gentle either.

M

 

[Insel Affen]

Glad it's not my neighbours, they often hear me shouting to my 8yr old to put down the saw or something. Mind you last time we went out, all you could hear me shouting was, 'Alex, put down that knife....Alex, put down that axe, not without Dad!'

Hang in there, fishfish, I'm sure it will sort itself out and all will be well.

 

[fishfish]

thanks for all the support guys and gals,from what the SS had to say i can narrow the culprit down to one person,its a small village,this person is a school governor and very anti-home school,and by day works as a health care professional ,funnily enough the same person who called the police when my kids drew on the skate ramps with chalk that washed off when it rained!

 

[Bowlander]

It sounds like a great childhood Justin; but did the neighbour really want a six year old under foot to 'help' at that time of the morning ?

I'm probably going to be shouted down for this, but the last thing I'd want is some neighbour's very young child underfoot, and unwittingly under my responsibility as I became de facto babysitter for the day.
Sheep aren't exactly lightweight, and having been knocked down by the 'pest' lambs in my own childhood, I can truthfully say they're not gentle either.

M

I can understand your concern, they asked if he'd like to go and watch the scanning, he marks the ewes and does the gates. He wasn't in harms way turning the sheep, the farmer was a few feet away with a collie and they'd put him in a safe spot. We keep asking if he is any bother to send him back but they say he is a good help to them.

I think his knowledge of the birds and bees is expanding as there was much talk of a tup that wasn't working properly!

 

[xylaria]

thanks for all the support guys and gals,from what the SS had to say i can narrow the culprit down to one person,its a small village,this person is a school governor and very anti-home school,and by day works as a health care professional ,funnily enough the same person who called the police when my kids drew on the skate ramps with chalk that washed off when it rained!

Report him to the police.

The SS, police and all the other agencies have a proper and serious job to do without having deal with malicious reports. I knew someone that just plain spite used report anyone that slighted her to whoever, the SS, tax evasion, dole fraud, council even the rspca. When one day she reported a probation officer that just qualified saying her kids lived in filth and her fella was a peado. So the police got involved and this womans pattern on behaviour was discovered. I dont know what they arrested her with, but she got bound over as a nuisance.

The SS should visit, get the vacuum out. They dont book appointments as far as I know unless they all ready think it is malcious. If you get education officer visits they might just look at those reports instead.

 

[OldJimbo]

The SS can be worse the rspca. Be very very careful.

The correct phrase to use is " the insinuating idea that I or my wife have committed neglect has caused us alarm and distress, and to have written in an official letter we find libellous. "

The phrase alarm and distress is important, I dont know why but it makes offical bodies back off, having an insinuating comment that causes you harm to your reputation as a parent is libel.

The daily mail loves these stories. But seriously tread very very carefully.

I would agree - unfortunately.
And I've been there, done that and should have got the T shirt. And it took two years.
Any time that anyone ever goes against your kids in a situation like this, start collecting the paper trail which will lead to their removal. Your first impulse will be to think "This is a joke, right!". It's not.

 

[Laurentius]

I had a seriously abusive childhood, I was regularly let out on my own to ride my bike, to climb trees and engage in other activities so dangerous that I get flashbacks even thinking of them. Where were social services when they were needed then? I think there ought to be a national compensation scheme I can claim off.

 

[dragon32]

Hi Fishfish,
I dont know if this is any consolation but my two foster kids have emotional and mental problems and our social worker has encouraged me to take them out myself into the country as that is a major interest of theirs. The oldest kept getting into problems at school because he kept turning up with knives. Since I showed him how to safely use a knife for bushcraft, he has stopped doing it and can now safely get a fire going when we camp. The youngest one has a bit to go yet although his problems are more severe than the older one. When someone reported us to social sevice because the eldest one was telling his friends he was trusted with a knife, our social worker came out to see us and him and was perfectly happy that it was all done under supervision. I think its all to do with where you live and the amount of adverse publicity their social services have recieved in the press. Take no notice and just answer any questions they ask you openly and dont worry.

Don

 

[Bowlander]

Great stuff Don. A real common sense approach.

 

[tankie]

And you wonder why people like me gave up working for Kent Youth services, every time I tried to do or organise outside activities with youngsters my hands were tied by red tape, sigh!