Does anyone else not know how to ask for help?

[gibson 175]

Whilst on the subject of men asking for help,( a slight deviation maybe from the OP) an interesting theme popped up when I worked in suporting/engaging unpaid male carers ie those caring for family members or friends. I heard stories of men being refused time off work for caring duties eg if a dad needed to take their autistic son for a hospital appointement. The excuse was that 'shouldn't your wife take your son to hospital,that's her job not yours? Granted most employers are more enlightened but not all employers and certain sorts of employers would probably not be very supportive.
So as many people above have pointed out it is harder for men to ask for help -but that may be due to not being supported by their employers or people in their peer group,when those men ask for help. Hence my advice to just have a quick chat with the GP

 

[Silverclaws2]

Another problem with asking for help and particularly so when it concerns the caring profession is being rebuffed. Of which is a bit of a kicking when it happens given all one has gone through to find the courage to ask for help and yes it is about courage when one is not used to asking for help.

One of the potential reasons for this experience of being rebuffed concerns the art of communication in that folk not used to asking for help may have difficulty in translating their thoughts into a language that can be understood by a helper

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Edited to add a method of communication I have found helpful in the past;

Take the time to think about what is troubling and write it down.

When an appointment with a healthcare professional is imminent, go over what one has written down and with a sheet of paper list one's thoughts in short bullet form.

At the bottom of the page state ; ' please feel free to ask questions ', where one can then elaborate on the bullet points.

The. last GP I did this with told me he wished all his patients did this as it would make everything a whole lot easier.

 

[Pattree]

Yes indeed. Recognising a call for help that may come in one of many different forms is a skill that can only partially be trained. Experience and an empathetic nature are invaluable.

 

[MikeLA]

I understand and can see a lot men including me feel the similar. Found my GP is a complete waste of time 2 months for an appointment and it’s just in, tick a box and out.
Now a unpaid carer for two older family members and rarely have anytime to sort myself out.

 

[Chris]

I understand and can see a lot men including me feel the similar. Found my GP is a complete waste of time 2 months for an appointment and it’s just in, tick a box and out.
Now a unpaid carer for two older family members and rarely have anytime to sort myself out.

I can recommend the NHS self referral thing above if your GP isn’t helpful.

Also you can let your GP know that you are an unpaid carer and they should give you a bit of extra help. I had to do this with my Dad.

Please do take some time to look after yourself as well Mike, being an unpaid carer is extremely difficult sometimes. It’s normal to find some of it overwhelming, so don’t beat yourself up about it.

 

[gibson 175]

I understand and can see a lot men including me feel the similar. Found my GP is a complete waste of time 2 months for an appointment and it’s just in, tick a box and out.
Now a unpaid carer for two older family members and rarely have anytime to sort myself out.

The support for unpaid carers is abysmal-there is some but it doesn't suit everyone. At the end of the day you are largely on your own.PS by law you would be eligible for a stautory carers assessment. Don't know if that helps. https://www.nhs.uk/social-care-and-support/support-and-benefits-for-carers/carer-assessments/