Best method for telling the kids their beloved pet has died ?
- Thread starter pumbaa
- Start date
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This story is one you can use, it is more for the death of a relative, I can vouch for it, as my boys have heard it after losing a grandparent, and it made a difference.
I do understand that it depends on your view of faith and afterlife.
Letting the kid help with the burial of a pet may be useful, or taking the body to the vet if thats what your doing.
This story is one you can use, it is more for the death of a relative, I can vouch for it, as my boys have heard it after losing a grandparent, and it made a difference.
I do understand that it depends on your view of faith and afterlife.
Letting the kid help with the burial of a pet may be useful, or taking the body to the vet if thats what your doing.
bummer when it rains it pores sorry Pumbaa 
not got anything to add in the way of serious advice
You could get down the pet shop quick and get one that looks the same
hope you work it out let us know how you get on
James
not got anything to add in the way of serious advice You could get down the pet shop quick and get one that looks the same
hope you work it out let us know how you get on James
Pumbaa you're having a difficult time. I have had to do this job several times with my kids. I find it best to sit them down with a cuddle, be honest about it and cry with them. Then let them help with the burial - draw a picture or pick some flowers to bury with their pet. It does help them to see it through this far, though I'm sure there will be more tears for the next week or so. Best of luck.
Shona has it right on the button, be straight , let her be involved and lots of cuddles (and make sure you get some for your self or at least a friendly ear to bend))
Learning that "death is part of life", is one of the most important life skills (along with the fact that big boys do cry)
Learning that "death is part of life", is one of the most important life skills (along with the fact that big boys do cry)
You probably did the right thing in telling then. I made up a stupid "gone away to a farm where she'll be happy" story (bit difficult when you already live in the country) to tell my 5 year old when our dog died. Six months later she made me tell her the truth. I think dealing with the death of a pet, however sad it is, helps prepare children for life.
MagiKelly
Making memories since '67
Last year we had a lot of deaths. In early August my wife's grandfather died on the Monday, Tuesday night my mother had a stroke and died the next morning. Over the next couple of weeks our childrens God Parents both lost their mothers. We had four chickens that we kept in the garden and they were all killed by a fox.
My daughters were 4 and 5 respectively and it seems they were becoming accustomed to death.
Our cat, Tara, was starting to show signs that she too was not long for the world. She was sleeping almost all the time, not moving much and hardly eating much. She was in no pain but as she was 18 it was obvious what was happening.
Anyway Saturday morning Karen and I are having a lie in. There is the sound of Eleanor (5) and Gwen (4) running up the stairs. The door to the bedroom bursts open.
"DAD THE CATS DEAD, REALLY DEAD WE'RE NOT KIDDING!" they shout in unison"
I go with them down stairs and lieing in the study is the cat. Still curled up as if she is a sleep. Obviousley she has not suffered any pain in her passing. I am crouched at the cat with a daughter at each shoulder looking at the cat. I am aware that this may have effected them emotionally so I put on my diplomatic voice.
"Tara has gone to heaven now", say I "She does not need her body there and"
"Can we get a Puppy?", chips in Eleanor.
"No"
"A kitten?" counters Gwen
"Not just yet" I answer, aware of the fact we are still couching over the not long dead cat but not wanting to be too robust with the girls.
"What about on Monday?" asks Eleanor with renewed optimism.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
There are two lessons from this.
1) Kids are far more resiliant than we give them credit for &
2) My kids are mercinary buggers
My daughters were 4 and 5 respectively and it seems they were becoming accustomed to death.
Our cat, Tara, was starting to show signs that she too was not long for the world. She was sleeping almost all the time, not moving much and hardly eating much. She was in no pain but as she was 18 it was obvious what was happening.
Anyway Saturday morning Karen and I are having a lie in. There is the sound of Eleanor (5) and Gwen (4) running up the stairs. The door to the bedroom bursts open.
"DAD THE CATS DEAD, REALLY DEAD WE'RE NOT KIDDING!" they shout in unison"
I go with them down stairs and lieing in the study is the cat. Still curled up as if she is a sleep. Obviousley she has not suffered any pain in her passing. I am crouched at the cat with a daughter at each shoulder looking at the cat. I am aware that this may have effected them emotionally so I put on my diplomatic voice.
"Tara has gone to heaven now", say I "She does not need her body there and"
"Can we get a Puppy?", chips in Eleanor.
"No"
"A kitten?" counters Gwen
"Not just yet" I answer, aware of the fact we are still couching over the not long dead cat but not wanting to be too robust with the girls.
"What about on Monday?" asks Eleanor with renewed optimism.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
There are two lessons from this.
1) Kids are far more resiliant than we give them credit for &
2) My kids are mercinary buggers
MagiKelly
Making memories since '67
arctic hobo said:Brilliant story
Every word is true as well. I was not sure whether I should just give in or go off on a rant about the cat just being dead and them were trying to negotiate their next pet.
We have new chickens now but the cat has still to be replaced. Maybe for christmas.
My Mother and Father in law told my Wife (when she was about 7yrs old) that their goats had retired to a place in the south of France called Abattoir to explain their recent disappearance. She didn't twig for years, and when she did they told her that she'd actually helped to eat them.
Needless to say she didn't speak to her Mum and Dad for a couple of weeks.
Needless to say she didn't speak to her Mum and Dad for a couple of weeks.
Good on you pumbaa, honesty is definitely the right way to go. I don't think telling kids fairytales about death is too good, because at one point or another they will realise the truth, in the playground or elsewhere, and they may not be too happy about it.
We told ours that Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy were all run over by a bus, and Hammie the Hamster was with them...
4 birds with one stone!!!
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.
.
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.
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...and when my daughter realised the truth, she said, "Well ,at least you didn't make us eat him...!!!!"
4 birds with one stone!!!
.
.
.
.
.
.
...and when my daughter realised the truth, she said, "Well ,at least you didn't make us eat him...!!!!"
zackerty said:We told ours that Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy were all run over by a bus, and Hammie the Hamster was with them...
4 birds with one stone!!!
.
.
.
.
.
.
...and when my daughter realised the truth, she said, "Well ,at least you didn't make us eat him...!!!!"
sounds good! you get style points dude.
