The story so far ..................
Bushcraft bill decided that today he would eat fungi and gaze longingly at the bushmen
making reed baskets with their feet. Later that day while stalking deer Happily ever after
drinking another brew 'Oh My God!' Bill said, as he stood up as a huge thunderstorm
brewed overhead blotted out the cold, indifferent sun. What's the secret of his success?
Those Dodgy Mushrooms made him smile. Meanwhile, the grazing Bushmen began to
maneuver his trustful Ray Mears Shirt around his broad-head axe head. Then he decided
to blow on his twig whistle to call the local Boy Scouts who were whittling their Scout
Leader. The scouts responded like small kittens and began suckling. Being frantically
battoned in this occupation is Bill's nightmare and his fantasy and yet he ate dodgy
mushrooms, until he saw a scrumptious looking pudding to eat. That was great! If ya like
spicy meat balls cooked in lizard's. He withdrew his gaze from the And with the knife cut
off some bramble leaves to to stick on the full pouting lips of the late queen mother and
one of her dashing Corgis which had just rolled over cheese and had penetrated a yoghurt
pot full of smelly crazy chicken wings that were still on the chicken who looked like they
were ready for stuffing with nothing but a Healthy Garlic Found by the scout vampire. Who
lived in a large purple bender "Hark, I hear up in Alaska...."
"Wiki-ups aren't purple but rainbow coloured with ribbons for guylines and knicker-elastic
instead of bungees which meant that during blustery conditions no harm came to innocent
bystanders or oscillating spiders unless they were winching in great salty chocolate balls.
Sadly, Bill died (ooops) dyed his long blonde hair with the juice of a thousand lemons. He
began squeezing the remaining juice from his old wet socks afterwards he brewed an evil
concoction to wash down those dodgy mushrooms which now grew like wild fire on his
woody woodpecker, which he purged with fire while smiling and releasing the badgers.
Meanwhile, back at the BushcraftUK forums there were a demented members wrote
about word games whilst lightly stropping his big shiny Red Hunters axe to boldly go
where no Bushcrafter except Ray Mears and his amazing Bushcrafting honey Monster
And sidekick Grylls with hidden harness and pop-up inflatable bush mate with realistic hair and moving eyes had gone before.
Bills blog was getting well read when suddenly a Bear gryllis appears with its characteristic stupid use of leaves because diahorria is really very enojyable when you dont have it. But basically fire in the hold! and you will trot like Gryllis or run like a canadian moose in a tutu whilst wearing flipflops, leaving scent behind that attracts the little sick puppies hungry for more treats which have ran down your trouser leg.
Did you know that sometimes the hat that Bill treasured above all was used to filter river water before the puppies and creepy stranger used it as breakfast cereal cartons and Bill liked to think that life was good until he met Bear Grylls and his reknowned mighty £350 bushcraft knife unusually made from an aluminum can and sticky tape sharpened with a large mango pit bull. Unperterbed Bill donned his pink marigold gloves, which matched his silky saw and grabbed creepy strangers, dangling by their big toe, and swinging in the trees until they reached above the horrible lords of iron sculpting their insidious people that became soaring bastions of ice cream cones, mint choc chip continued on, so that their future lay in the hands of time, but which timezone you may ask as you gaze at the watch only to realize...............................