Wild ferrets farce

[swyn]

I thought that I would put this up as it has made us all laugh.
On Monday a friend rang my wife to tell us that she had seen two ferrets running loose in the woods near where she was riding her horse. She wondered if we knew if anyone had lost some.
On wednesday the landlord at the pub had tried to catch a ferret but it had run towards him and launched itself into his finger whereupon he had swung it, still attached, up in the air in surprise. The animal then let go and ran under a car in the car park. He didn't bother trying to catch it after that! Later that day the landlord had a 'phone call from a regular that he had caught a ferret and had given it to a neighbour who had a box to keep it in. (We knew nothing of this yet)
On Thursday morning I was told by the Keeper that this neighbour had a ferret and did we know anyone who had lost one...Mid day My wife was 'phoned by the landlord to say that He had caught a ferret and did we know anyone who had lost one....So there I am thinking there are two ferrets caught in the village. I went to see what my wife knew of this and found out that we had the landlords ferret. Which when I went near to check it over promptly launched it's self into my finger! My wife went to help and it launched into her finger!
I saw the Keeper that afternoon and got to the bottom of the mystery as He explained that this animal had escaped from the neighbours box in the night and had gone back to the pub to be rather more cautiously caught by the landlord. So this single ferret has now bitten the Landlord once, me once and my wife, who is usually more cautious FOUR times!
The sad bit is that nothing has been seen of the second ferret (if there was ever one I ask) The good news is that the underkeeper has taken on this little gill. We transferred her into a more suitable travelling box wearing the thickest gauntlets that I could find... and would you believe she went quietly!! So there is hope for her yet!
Swyn.

 

[bilko]

Sorry, stupid southerner question. You use them to catch rabbits don't you?
I know some people keep them as pets.

 

[swyn]

Not a stupid question at all. They make super pets. I used to work them when I was a teenager. My children have watched them being worked with the underkeeper. My son knows some of the circuit demonstrators and helps out if we see them at shows. They have only had them as pets not to work.
As pets they are easily house trained and if you want entertainment look no further! We like the musky smell but it is a personal thing.... Other people hate it!
They are very gentle if handled from young but like the earlier post WILL bite and it is bl**dy painful!!!
They always want to be the other side of the door, whichever side they find themselves on so all the carpet upstairs under the doors has been dug up!
They need a serious commitment or like the post they get abandoned when they become a bit too much for someone to handle. There is a growing number in the ferret rescue society as people see them on TV or at shows, think they are cute and do not realise what they have taken on.
There is also an evenings sport racing them. A bit like the gee gees but smaller and furrier! My daughter is good at spotting the winners ( the thin ones) there and usually comes in at least £4.00 better off. They race along drainpipes with windows cut into them so you can see the action. Four or six pipes in a row with a special gate to start them and quick people at the ends to catch the winner and the others. The fat ones usually get stuck, or fall asleep.
They also have an unusual breeding cycle and this needs careful attention if the gill is to survive more than a year or two. Our hob was vascectomised (expensive!) but this ensured that we wern't over run with kits and the gill was taken out of oestrus (spelling) early in the spring and lived a lot longer than an unmated one. When she finally did die aged five the male went to a breeder that we knew to keep his gills that wern't mated that year in good fettle. Lucky fellow! The breeder was happy to pay us for him as the vascectomy had a purpose.
Swyn.

 

[demographic]

There used to be an auction near me that sold small livestock and all sorts of other stuff.

They also sold ferrets sometimes and there was an old bloke there who used to get them out of the box and handle them, he had a technique to handle them which involved sort of flipping them from hand to hand which kept them rather dis-orentated (sp?) so they didn't bite and all the while he was saying how they didn't bite and could be handled

After then he put them back in the box and they were sold and I think you can guess what happened to the fingers of the buyers when they handled this fairly p****d off ferret.

 

[Heathenpeddler]

We keep ferrets here. They are not workers, they are my partners pets. One she hand reared from a kit, it slept in a maternity bra during the day to keep it warm (she had it on over her tshirt)

The vasectomised male is an important point. The gills can pick up all sorts of infections if they are not mated and you can end up swamped in kits if you have a hob that isn't snipped

 

[swyn]

There was a second ferret! I caught it two days later with the assistance of the work experience lad who has been with me recently. First we rushed around looking for heavy gloves then we caught her then we had to get her to the underkeeper... who now has both.
This one was much less savage and better fed. We caught her near a cottage where cat food is left in a bowl so maybe she was feeding from that.
Finally, yesterday, we heard that another person in the village had caught a gill and had taken this to the wildlife hospital. That makes a total of three ferrets!
Swyn.

PS. Heathenpeddlar, my wife laughed at the bra idea! Brilliant! Remembering bringing back one of our pairs, for one of the older childrens 13th birthday present (He is now 25) in a similar way from The Royal Show on the back of my motorbike! Little boy had tears in his eyes as this was a complete surprise.
S

 

[Silverback]

A family pet rabbit, decimated chicken coop and a raided pheasant pen can be expensive to compensate. There is an old saying around here - There is no such thing as a lost ferret!

Sad but true I am afraid.