999 services in britain are well trained and very professional. I go out the bikes with the kids I bring an OS map now in case I need to ring them. Last year my son broke his arm in children's playground, it was somewhere we had never been before, and the ambulance had trouble finding us. The directions I gave the operator were "the children's play area next to the A50 between the Meir roundabout and tescos roundabout. We are on the side of the carriageway going towards the city. We are on the opposite side of the A50 from Meir baptist church. " That sounds like clear instructions but I needed to repeat several times as the traffic noise was horrific. The ambulance car turns up and parks outside the baptist church, gets out and starts looking for a playground on the wrong side of the road. I frantically jump up and down wave my arms from the other side of the dual carrageway. If it wasn't for a passing cyclist who was in dayglo clothes and was well over six foot the driver wouldn't of seen us. There is no substitute for a clear OS or GPS co-ordinate.
The only real idiot I have talked in medical emergency was the when I had to ring the emergency doctor.
" My partner has just been discharge after having colonoscopy and is having complications"
"Is he conscious?"
"Yes. he is throwing up brown liquid, and is in severe pain"
"Where exactly is the pain?"
"He has had colonoscopy he is in severe pain"
"yes, but where is pain?"
"EERrrr in his colon, his tummy area. Can speak to someone who is medically qualified?"
"I need to assess your partners needs, Does he have pain anywhere else apart from the tummy?"
"Ahhhhgggghhh, , can I please speak to someone who is not an idiot"
ummmpph clicking sound of phone
"Hello practice nurse here"
