He's doing that wrong...

[Stringmaker]

I was in the bar of a hotel recently, watching one of the staff trying to light the fire.

He was trying to light wrist-thick rounds using newspaper tapers; no tinder or fine kindling was to be seen.

I was SO itching to take over and do it for him but I managed to keep my nose out of it. Eventually, with the help of a pile of firelighters the logs caught, so we had some flamey goodness.

Have you ever watched someone do a "bushy" activity badly but in a non-bushy environment/context and been desperate to take over?

 

[Shewie]

When we were on Vancouver Island a couple of years ago the hotelier was doing a similar thing, she left the room leaving a pile of smoldering logs so I grabbed a big pair of bellows from the fireplace and started giving it some welly. Just as it was starting to roar she came back in the room and went mental at me because apparently the bellows were antique rather than actual users. I asked why she would leave them next to the fire if they weren't to be used but she just muttered something under her breath and walked off, taking the bellows with her.
We ate elsewhere that night

 

[Perrari]

It's amazing how many people dont have a clue when it comes to lighting fires !

 

[sasquatch]

I was in a pub in the winter after a long walk in pouring rain, I bit my tongue for about 15 minutes watching various bar staff try to light the fire. In the end I asked if they minded me having a go, voila! instant warming fire. Even got a free pint out of it as people were very appreciative to have the fire going.

 

[blacktimberwolf]

Mrs. wolfy once tried to burn a pile of damp leaves by putting a match to some paper on top of the heap !.................. though I explained to her that what she was trying to do was impossible & gave her a brief low down on fire making, I don't think she was entirely convinced.

 

[Stringmaker]

It got so bad with me that I almost whipped a butter knife off the dining table and started batoning with it!

Now I think of it you do tend to see baskets of fuel logs but never any tinder or kindling. I guess sales of firelighters and matches must be doing well...

 

[Gaudette]

Was in a restaurant in Spain last year and watched a waiter deliver a perfectly good fish on a salver to a German chap. When he placed the fish on the table he lifted his arms in the air and said ole! He then preceded to theatrically fillet the fish. By the time he had finished it was a pile of white mush. I agree it's not really a bushcrafty tale but it did demonstrate how not to fillet a fish.


--------------------------------------------
"If we had some bacon we could have bacon and eggs, if we had some eggs"

 

[Stringmaker]

If a knife was involved theh that's good enough for me!

 

[Sappy]

Went to an outdoor fair a few months ago and someone was doing a cordage and netting demonstration and making a hash of it so I asked if he wanted a hand, turns out he'd only made a few nets and a few hundred foot of cordage so was understandable why he wasn't much use

 

[blacktimberwolf]

Although the German raising his arms in the air could be a bit riské

 

[Emdiesse]

On my first little bushcraft adventure with my friends from home. One of my friends held a finger-thick twig over a lighter to make a fire. It was great fun to watch.

 

[superc0ntra]

Mrs. wolfy once tried to burn a pile of damp leaves by putting a match to some paper on top of the heap !.................. though I explained to her that what she was trying to do was impossible & gave her a brief low down on fire making, I don't think she was entirely convinced.

If she's the Mrs. then by definition she is right and you are wrong.

 

[Bushwhacker]

If he got the fire going he didn't do anything wrong, just... erm ...... different.

 

[The Big Lebowski]

I've seen several people light fires badly, even 'bushcrafters'

Its funny how the things you pick up transgress into normal day to day living!

 

[Stringmaker]

If he got the fire going he didn't do anything wrong, just... erm ...... different.

In absolute terms you are of course correct.

He still did it wrong though

 

[Stringmaker]

I've seen several people light fires badly, even 'bushcrafters'

Its funny how the things you pick up transgress into normal day to day living!

You're so right.

I was watching "Wartime Farm" and wincing at the blunt axes and snedding techniques being used!

It's a very fine line though between that and becoming a "bushcraft bore" which is why I left the hotel fire bloke to his devices.

 

[Ivan...]

Saw some photos of my youngest Katie (Mongoose13 on here) with 3 of her school chums one weekend in the park and they decided to have an impromptu bbq, and brought a wry smile to my face watching her take charge of the fire lighting and cooking of burgers and sausages, so as no one got burnt or suffered from food poisoning, thought to myself thats my girl!

Was quite proud, she had picked it up from her silly old dad and put it into practice.

 

[Johnnyboy1971]

I once saw a youtube video of a guy trying to sharpen his fire steel with his knife. I didnt have the heart to comment but was impressed how he didnt loose any fingers.

I did see someone once trying to hammer tent pegs in with the back of an axe without a mask on, each stroke was within an inch of his head and ear. Was only when i pointed this out to him that he decided to use a mallet instead.

 

[Squidders]

I once saw someone trying to get a fire going at a camp site using an electric airbed pump... they were at it for over an hour. Very funny.

I said nothing though because I didn't want to damage his ego.

 

[DaveWL]

My problem is that "I" occasionally become disjointed from "ME". I'll be doing something and my brain will be screaming at me "you're doing that wrong ... you're doing that wrong ..."

What surpises me is how long I'll keep doing it before I listen to myself.