When nature calls, and mosquitos call too...

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Kooga

Member
Jul 22, 2015
24
0
Sussex
I think this is in the right sub, if not please move it.

Have just come back from a week hiking in Norway and after one new experience I've been (quite literally) itching to ask some advice.
(Skip to * for the question.)

Picture this if you will: You're walking through quiet, dark and damp woodland and calmly observe there's a particularly high concentration of biting insects in the air this evening, contenting yourself that you're appropriately covered and have nothing particularly sensitive exposed. Just then, you happen upon a sweating and red-faced individual - trousers round his ankles and squatting in blatant discomfort. He's whipping his head left and right, slapping frantically at his own bared cheeks, and cursing and gnashing like something possessed. All while apparently attempting to relax enough to 'let go'.

This plays out for a minute or so before he stands, muttering maniacally, and waddles off about 10 meters. He angrily attacks the ground with his digging stick before repeating the image for another unfulfilling minute. He tries a few more locations before re-suiting and swaggering uncomfortably off to convince himself that his metabolism is in fact so efficient that it actually produces no waste at all...

*So then, when doing the business, are there any suggestions for evading being bitten on the areas where you really don't want to be bitten?

Short of carrying disposable 'head' nets :eek: I can't think of how something that typically requires a certain level of comfort and relaxation can be achieved under such circumstances.
 
Plan ahead ~ Go in a window of relatively bug free opportunity, don't wait until you're desperate and have no choice but to grin and bear/bare everything ;)
 
Never thought about it I have always just gone when your out in the Canadian prairies for 8 weeks you just end up going with no other choice like Janne said get on with it and don't scratch you soon get use to it.
 
If I get badly bitten by something they call sand flies here ( gnats?) I apply a bit of my own spit. Cools.

I once got bitten by a Horse Fly on my genitals. That was no fun.
Also managed to get ticks there. Even less fun.
 
Hm never had a problem with that :D
But when mosquitos go crazy this is how I end up
Yesterday , mud on hands and face , right after you do it , they leave :)

373afc73d25d.jpg


After you got bitten as mentioned here your own spit works great , I have been taught that since I was a small kid
 
A pack of antihistamines costs pennies. They're worth their weight in gold, and a Beaton's midge jacket is the one bit of kit I wouldn't go out without when the biting blighters are around.

Inflammatory response is generally an escalating one, unfortunately, and it's very much not funny.

M
 
Find somewhere with a breeze, that and maybe "fire in the hole" before rather than after. Well rather "smoke in the hole" rather than fire. We have a short drop and a thunder box at two of ours woods and if you light throw in some loo roll it really clears out the guests first.
Hope that makes sense?
 
To follow up on what Toddy says...B&M's are currently selling Antihistamines, both Cetirizine Hydrochloride 10mg's and Loratadine 10mg's in packs of 30 for 99p. They are in blister packs and in my local store at least they have a good sell by date on them. So many uses for them, it seems silly not to have a pack.

D.B.
 
Cheers the lot of you, all makes sense.

A bit of planning ahead, combined with some realistic expectation of bum-bites and then appropriate treatment.

Never tried saliva as a remedy so will do and and thanks also todd and drain re antihistamines.

Now I just have to learn to relax...

Janne, I feel for you.
 
Never entirely figured this one out, but it is something I think about for each trip. Generally haven't had a problem, but on a June trip to Norway's Telemark region found there was a short window of opportunity in the morning (sunny days at least) between the midges retiring from the increasing light and breeze and the horse flies getting their act together. That was the time to go fertilize a birch!

In New Zealand the mossies were not a problem but the sandflies were, but they flew during the day only, so if you could wait till after dark you were alright.
 
Hm never had a problem with that :D
But when mosquitos go crazy this is how I end up
Yesterday , mud on hands and face , right after you do it , they leave :)

373afc73d25d.jpg


After you got bitten as mentioned here your own spit works great , I have been taught that since I was a small kid
Oh, it's MUD on your hands and face.

I was worried. Thought you'd had a little accident when making a trip to the woods.
 
Three options:

1. Just ignore them (and hurry up)
2. Pick the right spot (e.g. windy)
3. Use some form of repellent, be it a smokey fire or one of the modern electronic mosquito-repellers that you can buy. I would advice against applying most, if not all, mosquito lotions to your genitals...
 
For insects the routine i use is;

High garlic diet, smidge repellent, prescription anti-histamines.

Never fails, but the pills hide the bites anyway, much to the envy of the scratch posts about me.

Tonyuk
 
You guys should know, it is much, much worse when it is -30C or below....

Hence the sparse population of those areas.
Yes, I am writing this tongue-in-cheek, but doing a No2 is tricky and has to be planned.
Doing a No 1 is not much easier, the physiological reaction can make it quite difficult.
We have a saying in Sweden, loosely translated: The last drop end up in the trousers! ( Sista droppen byxan tar)
 
Or just squat, listen to the birds and enjoy the (very) close contact with the wildlife...

I suppose it all depends on you inclinations. I can't really get into the mind-space where horsefly-bites to my genitals is a good thing.

You guys should know, it is much, much worse when it is -30C or below....

But then you may end up spending more time, if the aurora borealis is particularily nice that evening. BTDT
 
I suppose it all depends on you inclinations. I can't really get into the mind-space where horsefly-bites to my genitals is a good thing.



But then you may end up spending more time, if the aurora borealis is particularily nice that evening. BTDT

Um, I can't imagine wanting to spend more time. The coldest I've 'been' outside was -19C. Cycling home, the cold had inevitable effect filling my bladder. By the time I'd finished peeing, my genitals were shrunken and blue. I really would not have cared if the 'last drop had ended up in my trousers' as Janne put it. I was more concerned with avoiding real, possible frostbite (particularly given I was about to get back on a bike and subject myself to increased wind chill).
An insulated 'he-wee' would have been quite useful, thank you.
 

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