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Fife's Got Everything
My mate used to phone from 10 miles up the coast at Kinghorn to let me know when a dolphin school was on its way, and I'd return the favour when they were on the way back.
I took my wife on a badger watch one evening a few years ago, she's still talking about the old brock who came out doing his Bear Necessities song and dance routine, and who made it very plain our hide at his next scratching post had ruined what would otherwise have been a great night out!
Peregrines flush pigeons from under the Forth and Tay bridges.
The sea eagle release programme had farmers spitting feathers until its closure a few years ago, but there is still the odd one ventures back to the release ground. Just look for a pair of flying doors!
Otters in the rivers Leven and Eden make an interesting paddle-stop. Salmon, sea trout and broonies mean I've spent a large proportion of my life either up trees or up to my waist in watter. Little gems... a robin perched on my boot... a stoat dragging a rabbit ten times its size through the snow... a jay at my elbow, almost breaking its neck in curiousity as I tie a fishing fly... a weasel peeking from a dozen places at once, frantic to know why I'm there... a fox following ten yards behind me along a disused railway track, desperate to overtake.
............... wonderful things
Oh Fifes got everything, just the place for towrists,
See the bonny pit bings staundin in a raw.
The New Tay Road Bridge, finest in the country,
Half a croon tae cross it and it disnae raise a cheer;
Its a bob tae cross the Mersey, ye can stuff it up yer jersey,
Would they pay it down in London, oh no bloody fear.
Fifes entertainments, finest in the country,
Were the boys tae come tae if ye want tae get some tips;
Theres fitba at Central Park, neckin burdies in the dark,
Haggis suppers, hot pies, bingo and chips.
Fifes Scotch Whisky, finest in the country,
Distilled frae mountain water at the Coaltown of Markinch;
Man its got such power, matured for half an hour,
So dont be vague and ask for Haig its whisky at a pinch.
Fife Coast beaches, finest in the country,
If ye dinna mind the sewage, floatin mond yer toes;
The Costa del East Neuk, its enough tae mak ye bloody puke,
If ye want tae go in for a dook, ye hae tae haud yer nose.
Noo Fifes got culture, finest in the country,
Oh when it comes tae arty talk, oh were no the mugs;
Weve got Chink nags on oor waas, a wheen o gonks in oor haas,
Vernon Ward, Tretchikof and white wally dugs.
The Rosyth Dockyaird, finest in the country,
If ye want a cushy number working for the State;
Theres auld folks, blind folks, holiday inclined folks,
And if ye want a submarine, just wheel it oot the gate.
Oh Fifes got everything, just the place for tourists,
See the bonny pit bings staundin in a raw.