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Re-arrange...foot.. mouth.. in..

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wicca

Native
Oct 19, 2008
1,065
35
South Coast
The Gym I use shares a building with a Golf Club and a small cafeteria. The cafeteria (owned by the Golf Club) is also used for functions ie: wedding receptions, business meetings etc:
Stumbling from the Gym this morning in my usual sweat soaked state of exhaustion I was confronted in the entrance hallway of the building by a lady dressed in a very elegant black business suit. She looked at me and I, with my best stupid Cheshire Cat grin gasped out.." Morning, you've just met the walking dead"..
I then noticed that some other people had also entered the hallway behind her...all dressed in sombre black clothes. They all trooped upstairs to the Cafeteria where I later found out a formal after funeral reception was being held for a local dignitary. :twak: :sulkoff:
 
Thanks Wicca i needed that surprise laugh, you know it is a good one when you're alone and the laugh blurts out dead loud
 
Aah , the old foot in mouth...
I know how you feel Wicca...

Swmbo tells me I have that gift too...

A couple of years ago , we were out having a few drinks and towards the end of the night we stopped at a mobile snack bar type of place, that sold your burgers, kebabs that type of thing...
Family owned quite obviously as a very nice couple were serving.
I made conversation whilst waiting for the food , asking where they were from , which was Turkey , but stupidity had the better of me ...and so I also asked if his lady was pregnant...
The guy just laughed out loud and said :
" Nah mate , she's just fat!"😆

Needless to say I was quite apologetic to the lady after that much to everyone's amusement.
Lady didn't really laugh though
...
(I swear she didn't look fat, just skinny with a big gut , probably too much kebab 😊.)
 
wicca said:
The Gym I use shares a building with a Golf Club and a small cafeteria. The cafeteria (owned by the Golf Club) is also used for functions ie: wedding receptions, business meetings etc:
Stumbling from the Gym this morning in my usual sweat soaked state of exhaustion I was confronted in the entrance hallway of the building by a lady dressed in a very elegant black business suit. She looked at me and I, with my best stupid Cheshire Cat grin gasped out.." Morning, you've just met the walking dead"..
I then noticed that some other people had also entered the hallway behind her...all dressed in sombre black clothes. They all trooped upstairs to the Cafeteria where I later found out a formal after funeral reception was being held for a local dignitary. :twak: :sulkoff:
Click to expand...

And I'll bet you think your really stupid just now
 
Leshy said:
Aah , the old foot in mouth...
I know how you feel Wicca...

Swmbo tells me I have that gift too...

A couple of years ago , we were out having a few drinks and towards the end of the night we stopped at a mobile snack bar type of place, that sold your burgers, kebabs that type of thing...
Family owned quite obviously as a very nice couple were serving.
I made conversation whilst waiting for the food , asking where they were from , which was Turkey , but stupidity had the better of me ...and so I also asked if his lady was pregnant...
The guy just laughed out loud and said :
" Nah mate , she's just fat!"

Needless to say I was quite apologetic to the lady after that much to everyone's amusement.
Lady didn't really laugh though
...
(I swear she didn't look fat, just skinny with a big gut , probably too much kebab .)
Click to expand...

Said similar to my English teacher after the summer hols. She started crying and ran out of the room. It really was a 'shoot me now' moment.
 
I still cringe at the memory nearly thirty years ago when I came home to find a housemate as was often the case bending over the engine bay of his ropey old Lancia being watched by the couple from over the road.

I was a bit mystified and taken aback by the hostile and tearful reaction of the woman to my cheery "why don't you just shoot it and put it out of its misery" until my housemate retrieved a rather oily, disheveled but (fortunately) otherwise unharmed cat belonging to the neighbours which had got stuck under the bonnet and had a ten mile trip to and from his work -they had heard it while out looking for it

I really wished the ground would have opened up...



Sent from my LG-H340n using Tapatalk
 
Big G_73 said:
Sorry to hijack your thread, wicca :)

Did any watch this last week, Extreme Embalming : https://www.thesun.co.uk/living/2628126/extreme-embalmers-features-a-socialite-who-toasted-mourners-with-champagne-and-a-rapper-who-played-poker-at-his-own-wake/

The programme follows British funeral director John Harris as he travels to Puerto Rica to discover more about the trend for Extreme Embalming.

It's supposed to be coming over here to the UK! :yikes:
Click to expand...

No, but a friend of mine in Egypt has been experimenting with mummification for a couple of years now :)
 
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