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Diarrhoea Problems - Help/advice needed

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boatnosepanbow

Tenderfoot
Nov 13, 2011
71
1
Anywhere the wind takes me but only where the kest
My dear friends and fans of bushcraft uk. I need some advice. I cooked a trout broth land night and have not stopped excreting since. A belly of bad broth can make a bushmans bottom burst, so it is important that any high quality forest-wanderer extraordinaire must have a rich supply of bush land toilet paper.

So so my question, my fellow hunter-poachers, is this:


What is the best bushcraft toilet paper?

I have used doc leaves many times in the past. What about you guys? It needs to soothe as well as clean. Your support and help is much appreciated at this time of desperation.

Thanks

BN 'mushroom soup poo' PB
 
I find that when available, the leaves of digitalis ( foxglove ) are the wildernesses version of andrex, very comforting when one is suffering from Montezuma's revenge. I would also suggest drinking plenty of water and eating some burnt toast, water to flush the system, and the charcoal of the burnt toast will absorb any nasties in your tum.
Sorry to make fun of your unfortunate circumstances, but whilst writing this reply, I had a song by Jonny Cash playing in my head, burning ring of fire, I have a very warped mind and sense of humour, but hopefully it may lift your spirits while your suffering :)
Best wishes and a speedy recovery
Jon


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
 
Wild wandering woodsman said:
I find that when available, the leaves of digitalis ( foxglove ) are the wildernesses version of andrex, very comforting when one is suffering from Montezuma's revenge. I would also suggest drinking plenty of water and eating some burnt toast, water to flush the system, and the charcoal of the burnt toast will absorb any nasties in your tum.
Sorry to make fun of your unfortunate circumstances, but whilst writing this reply, I had a song by Jonny Cash playing in my head, burning ring of fire, I have a very warped mind and sense of humour, but hopefully it may lift your spirits while your suffering :)
Best wishes and a speedy recovery
Jon


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
Click to expand...

my sincere friend 'wild wandering woodsman Jon', oh how your kind words have helped. For my ring has been soothed by your care and sensitivity. I have just covered the last drops of my faeses with pine tree shavings to overpower the smell. I will trek to the local spring as dawn and collect some water to rehydrate my defeated body.
 
boatnosepanbow said:
My dear friends and fans of bushcraft uk. I need some advice. I cooked a trout broth land night and have not stopped excreting since. A belly of bad broth can make a bushmans bottom burst, so it is important that any high quality forest-wanderer extraordinaire must have a rich supply of bush land toilet paper.

So so my question, my fellow hunter-poachers, is this:


What is the best bushcraft toilet paper?

I have used doc leaves many times in the past. What about you guys? It needs to soothe as well as clean. Your support and help is much appreciated at this time of desperation.

Thanks

BN 'mushroom soup poo' PB
Click to expand...

In the past I have used sphagnum moss and doc leaves, once your problem sorted drink plenty of fluids to stop dehydration, also try and keep your hands washed/clean or you will just recycle the problem!
 
One more for sphagnum moss, though I read in a book years ago that you can use a rock :You_Rock_
 
Boil up some Oak bark and drink the "tea" - if you can!
The tannin is said to bind you up again ... but it is so unpleasant to drink that you may prefer to suffer the squits!
That is if you have a good supply of moss or Foxglove leaves and no need to travel far....
 
I find Wet Wipes useful while in the wild.
I have used leaves and moss when I ran out of paper, but did not find it efficient, and those remaing plant bits did not feel nice between the cheeks.
 
That trout must of gone off.. keep it in a cool box and out the sun next time :)

Hope your feeling better soon.. BNPB.

ps.. always keep a loo roll ice cold ;)
 
My dear friends of Bushcraft UK, for I Boatnose Panbow, forest dwelling survivor mercurial! For as the wind whistles and the kestrel flies by, I have recovered from my recent bout of diarrhoea. It has taken me a more or less a week to recover and I have lost lots of weight. Fear not, BNPB will soon be back in full health. I spent today preparing cauldrons full of a recipe that I call 'heathland healthy broth'.

Unfortunately, whilst out in the wilderness I succumbed to the illness and the elements and I passed out attempting to trek back to my cabin. As I was at high altitude, I lost all signal and battery on my telephone and could not call for help. I awoke on what I believe to be the next day to a sound a know all to well - the high pitched melody of a juvenile kestrel. At this point I knew it was a matter of life and death, I would be leaving a global fan base with nobody to look up to. With that in mind I managed to pull myself to my feet, my trousers still sodden from the excrement that I had failed to hold on to, using the thorny branches of some nearby heathland. Immediately I made my way towards the fowl beast to discover it had been terminally wounded already.
Luck favours the legendary so they say.
I waited for the beast to fall victim to its attacker, before plucking and gutting it. Luckily, I had packed materials to create a fire. I managed to muster enough energy to build a small dakota fire pit, where I roasted the bird. Once cooked I savoured every bite of the beast. I don't know whether it was the energy from the food or a placebo but I had enough energy to get back to my cabin. On the way I found some doc leaves, which I used to wipe away some of the mess from around my legs, it was enough relief. Lucky my phone had enough battery for me to read the advice, otherwise I would have been left a mess in the wild.

As as a result, I have written you all a thank you poem about the horrendous events of the past week:

a week ago boat nose went
Up the heathland hill,
he wasn't well already
and in his travels he fell ill,

he posted a plea on the forum,
a plea for help and mercy
sphagnum moss was recommended
to stop him being dirty,

he took onboard the sound advice
of bear bait and cross land kelly
but without access to clean water
a storm grew inside his belly

the night was cold
he was trekking home
over the moorland bramble
he knew that not calling home for help represented a significant gamble

so that one night panbow was beaten
the weather had drained all hope
not many bushmen could survive such horror,
but boatnose was born to cope

sometime later boatnose rose,
to the sound of a squealing kestrel,
As if by magic he began to move
like a car that was filled up with petrol,

he caught and roasted the felled fowl
and gobbled it once it was done
on his way home he found some leaves
To soothe his sore bushman bum

fear not fans
boat nose is home
back in his woodland Abode
but never again will he Forage when ill
he would rather stick to the road



friends, fans, that was my amazing thank you poem. I hope you thought it was incredible!


Thanks

boatnose 'against the odds' pan bow
 
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