The scoutmaster was teaching the scouts about survival in the desert.
"What are the three most important things you should bring with you in case you get lost in the desert?" he asked. Several hands went up, and many important things were suggested such as food, matches, etc.
Then one young scout raised his hand.
"Yes Johnny, what are the three most important things you would bring with you?" asked the Scoutmaster.
Johnny replied, "A compass, a canteen of water, and a deck of cards."
"Why's that Johnny?"
Johnny answered, "The compass is to find the right direction and the water is to prevent dehydration..."
"And what about the deck of cards?" asked the scoutmaster.
"Well, Sir, as soon as you start playing Solitaire, someone is bound to come up behind you and say, 'Put that red nine on top of that black ten!"'
oh and this one is as old as the hills but always good for a chuckle.
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal, they lay down for the night and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. Holmes said: "Watson, look up and tell me what you see".
Watson said: "I see a fantastic panorama of countless stars".
Holmes: "And what does that tell you?"
Watson pondered for a moment: "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow."
"Why? - What does it tell you, Holmes?"
Holmes was silent for a moment then spoke: "Someone has stolen our tent."