Ray Mears, how I hate you (poem)

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Greywolf

Forager
Jun 5, 2005
188
4
54
East Riding of Yorkshire
Ray Mears how I hate you
Making people go ‘wild’
You reveal bushcraft secrets
In your voice, Oh so mild.
They’ve camped in my garden
And they’re eating my peas
Will you stop teaching them?
I’ll say “pretty please!”
So give up book writing
Don’t go on TV
Please come round to my place…
… and teach them to ME


:D

Greywolf
 

Ogri the trog

Mod
Mod
Apr 29, 2005
7,182
71
60
Mid Wales UK
Goose said:
Wonder if he reads the forum?????

Though it would be heartening to know that he might poke his head in now and again, I doubt he'd want to make the fact known as we'd just pester him with trivial requests for answers to problems, which it'd be better for us to work out for ourselves.

Ogri the trog
 

match

Settler
Sep 29, 2004
707
8
Edinburgh
we'd just pester him with trivial requests for answers to problems, which it'd be better for us to work out for ourselves.

No disrespect to Ray, but I reckon that given the array of knowledge each of us carries, the combined knowledge that we all give to bushcraftuk means that in all the time I have been here I have never seen a question go unanswered, or a solution to a problem fail to be provided.

(If he does come here from time to time, I'd like to think it would be to read, learn and ask questions, as well as provide answers to them :D)
 

Paganwolf

Bushcrafter (boy, I've got a lot to say!)
Jul 26, 2004
2,330
2
53
Essex, Uk
www.WoodlifeTrails.com
Maybe not, id do the same, this forum is a great indicator of what goes on across the country, what people are buying and such, if you was the leading bushcraft celeb/guru in the UK would you not check it out to see what people think of you,your products and your shows? makes good market research sence to me.
 

Kim

Nomad
Sep 6, 2004
473
0
50
Birmingham
SO, back to poetry...Ode to Ray

Ray, oh Ray, who likes green,
and keeps his knife so very nice and clean,
oh you bow-drill like a god,
isn't it odd, that you're never in the same place at the same time,
a bit like Superman...

Just imagining Ray there with his underpants on over his trousers...and a big B..for bushcraft emblazened on his chest!!!
 

JakeR

Bushcrafter (boy, I've got a lot to say!)
Jan 18, 2004
2,288
4
36
Cardiff
LOL

Ray Mears, Ray Mears of bushcraft fame,
you camp, you cut, you eat wild game,
You carry bugger all,
and manage it fine,
Your knife is very sharp, a bit like mine,
Perhaps you use a certain leather strop,
Or maybe i should know when i should stop, ;)
I feel rather stupid for writing this poem,
and am lost for rhyming words (like [something] or phloem),
i shall stop it right here,
and maybe one day,
will manage to get back...
....my reputation...errr
... lost from trying to be....um
a poet even though....
i know that ...
i can't.

Any other entries?

:)
 

Womble

Native
Sep 22, 2003
1,095
2
57
Aldershot, Hampshire, UK
In England fair, in forests deep
Where badgers wander, squirrels play
And men do ramble, seeing some
But missing most brought by the day

In lands of southern Saxons bold
Upon a down the ash trees grow
That - lit by starlight - seem to stand
Enchanted by a full moons glow.

There walks a figure, all alone
(Unless they have a camera crew)
They watch the world go by again
The modern world they do eschew.

Who stands here now? Are they some lord,
Astride their lands, all they survey?
Or are they just someone who looks
And strives to learn the natural way?

A shelter built from leaves and moss
A feast of food - all there to find
The shavings on the floor tell of
A sharp knife (with a scandi grind).

But what's important here - the skills?
The fire lit and cordage made?
Or could it be the land itself
The forest, heath and woodland glade?

Or round the fire with friends of old
To tell the tales of day gone by
And laughter fills the firelit glade
As smoke enfolds the starry sky

The call of birds on morning clear
Refreshing rain to feed the soil
The warming sun, the silver moon
The solitude, far from the toil.

To sit beside a rugged oak
Becoming one with what they see
The deer walk by, yet not disturbed
By what stays still beneath the tree.

But now the figure moves away
Through wood, and briar, oak and beech
Their footprints light and movements sure
They go to learn - perhaps to teach.

And as the figure fades from sight
You ask "Did Ray Mears just walk through?"
But pause, and think again, because
Perhaps the figure seen…

…Was you.
 

Stuart

Full Member
Sep 12, 2003
4,141
50
**********************
Magnificent!!!!! Round of applause for womble!!!!! (where is the I'm not worthy smiley when you need it)

I cant express how impressed I am, you are very talented womble
 

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