Got sent this today at work, made me chuckle
Job applictaion submitted by a 75 year old pensioner at the Tunbridge Wells store.
Name:
Kenneth Way (Grumpy b`stard)
Sex:
Not lately, but I`m always looking for the right woman (or at least one who will cooperate)
Desired position:
Companys Chief Exec or Managing Director. But seriously whatever`s available, if I was in a position to be picky I wouldn`t be applying in the first place - would I ?
Desired salary:
£150,000 pa plus share options and a Tony Blair reduncancy package. If that`s not possible make me an offer and we can haggle.
Education:
Yes
Last position held:
Target for middle management hostility
Previous salary:
A lot less than I`m worth
Most noteable acheivement:
My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes
Reason for leaving:
It was a crap job
Hours available to work:
Any
Preffered hours:
13:30-15:30 Monday, Tuesday and Thursday
Do you have any special skills?
Yes, but they`re better suited to a more intimate environment
May we contact your current employer?
If I had one would I be here?
Do you have any physical conditions that would prevent you lifting up to 50lbs?
Of what ?
Do you have a car ?
I think the question here should be "do I have a car that runs?"
Have you received any special awards or recognition?
I may already be a winner of the Readers Digest Timeshare Free Holiday Offer, so they tell me
Do you smoke ?
On the job - No, on my breaks - Yes
What would you like to be doing in 5 years?
Living in the Bahamas with a 6ft blonde supermodel who thinks I`m the greatest thing since sliced bread.
Actually I`d like to be doing that now
Nearest relative?
7 miles
Do you certify that the above is true and complete to the best of your knowledge?
Oh yes, absolutely
Old people rock !!
Apparently he got the job because he had the employers in stitches at the interview.
Job applictaion submitted by a 75 year old pensioner at the Tunbridge Wells store.
Name:
Kenneth Way (Grumpy b`stard)
Sex:
Not lately, but I`m always looking for the right woman (or at least one who will cooperate)
Desired position:
Companys Chief Exec or Managing Director. But seriously whatever`s available, if I was in a position to be picky I wouldn`t be applying in the first place - would I ?
Desired salary:
£150,000 pa plus share options and a Tony Blair reduncancy package. If that`s not possible make me an offer and we can haggle.
Education:
Yes
Last position held:
Target for middle management hostility
Previous salary:
A lot less than I`m worth
Most noteable acheivement:
My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes
Reason for leaving:
It was a crap job
Hours available to work:
Any
Preffered hours:
13:30-15:30 Monday, Tuesday and Thursday
Do you have any special skills?
Yes, but they`re better suited to a more intimate environment
May we contact your current employer?
If I had one would I be here?
Do you have any physical conditions that would prevent you lifting up to 50lbs?
Of what ?
Do you have a car ?
I think the question here should be "do I have a car that runs?"
Have you received any special awards or recognition?
I may already be a winner of the Readers Digest Timeshare Free Holiday Offer, so they tell me
Do you smoke ?
On the job - No, on my breaks - Yes
What would you like to be doing in 5 years?
Living in the Bahamas with a 6ft blonde supermodel who thinks I`m the greatest thing since sliced bread.
Actually I`d like to be doing that now
Nearest relative?
7 miles
Do you certify that the above is true and complete to the best of your knowledge?
Oh yes, absolutely
Old people rock !!
Apparently he got the job because he had the employers in stitches at the interview.