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Burn

Ugh

Dogma

What you said probably staggered him.

Dunno about the cost of getting married but we're still married after 62 years because we reckon divorce is far too expensive.

Bienvenue en BushcraftUK.

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Season

I nearly went to Hull by taking the wrong turn on the motorway while fetching my son from Leeds University and had to backtrack. It's still remembered as the trip to Hull and Back.

Using the human, technical and financial resources entailed on conflict avoidance would be in the better interests of the world as a whole.

We regularly see Pine Martins in the Pyrenees. They don't seem shy of humans.

Just had a polyp removed from my bowel. All OK as I took my own SAK.

I'm due for surgery tomorrow: I'm taking my own SAK.

In our French village, a local naturalist advertises guided walks for tourists up in the hills. There's a local legend that two Parisiennes turned up starkers at the rendezvous point. He refuses to confirm or deny the story.

Welcome/bienvenue/wilkommen

Switch

I was once snorkelling on Tahiti beach in St Tropez and after a long swim along the beach, decided to come ashore. I realised that I was about to land on the nudist beach and was so embarassed to be the only one wearing swimming trunks that I took them off and strolled nonchalantly back along...

I'm happy to say I haven't the slightest idea what any of you are on about.

I'm in stitches!

Ounce