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Stoopid jokes

Discussion in 'Other Chatter' started by nickliv, Dec 4, 2010.

  1. Biker

    Biker Full Member

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    Just heard Leonard Nimoy passed away today aged 83. Sad news. :(

    But he left a lasting legacy, including this little gem that the over 50s here might remember with fondness. R.I.P. Mr Spock.

    [​IMG]
     
  2. Harvestman

    Harvestman Bushcrafter through and through

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    That's sad news. However, in the spirit of the thread...

    "He's dead, Jim!"
     
  3. Biker

    Biker Full Member

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    Nice one. :cool:

    And I bet Madonna's glad she no longer the focus of social media attention now either.
     
  4. John Fenna

    John Fenna Lifetime Member & Maker

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    That is cool!
    I love the Pipes - although they call me "Welsh" my Mother was Scots and my Paternal Grandfather was in The Royal Scots...
     
  5. Harvestman

    Harvestman Bushcrafter through and through

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    I once had a crush on this pretty Dutch girl who had to wear inflatable shoes owing to arthritic metatarsals.

    Eventually I rang her house to ask her out but her Dad said she'd popped her clogs.
     
  6. Goatboy

    Goatboy Full Member

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    I decided to sell my Hoover... well it was just collecting dust.
     
  7. bearbait

    bearbait Full Member

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    Mummy, mummy! Can I lick the bowl?

    No dear. Please flush it like everyone else.
     
  8. Native Nathan

    Native Nathan Native

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    When making cakes, good mothers let the kids lick the beaters.
    Great mothers turn the mixer off first.


    Q) What's invisible and smell of banana's?
    A) Monkeys Farts

    Q) What's blue and smells of paint?
    A) Blue Paint.

    Q) Have you been to the restaurant on the moon?
    A) The foods great, but not atmosphere...
     
  9. Insel Affen

    Insel Affen Settler

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    Latest Celebrity News:

    George Michael has broken his leg in a nightclub. Witnesses say that he slipped on some chocolate.

    Apparently it was a careless wispa on the dance floor.
     
  10. Goatboy

    Goatboy Full Member

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    I've named my new Samsung phone "The Titanic". So now when I plug it into the computer it says "The Titanic is syncing"!
     
  11. Insel Affen

    Insel Affen Settler

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    Ha ha!! Reminds me of this video www.youtube.com/watch?v=yR0lWICH3rY

    (I hope it works as I'm doing it from a work computer which doesn't like You Tube).
     
  12. Filterhoose

    Filterhoose Full Member

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    My pals a drummer in a pub rock group. He has played with them for years. Over the past few months his drumming has got progressively worse and he has developed problems with his timing. The rest of the band had a meeting to discuss his poor timing and decided to sack him. Totally devastated given the commitment he had shown over the years he threw himself behind a train.
     
  13. Insel Affen

    Insel Affen Settler

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    I had some sad news today too about a friend I have who works in a warehouse. He was killed this morning at work when a load of boxes of coffee fell on him.

    He didn't suffer, it was instant.
     
  14. Macaroon

    Macaroon A bemused & bewildered

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    How can you tell when the drum riser is level?

    When the drummer dribbles out of both sides of his mouth!
     
  15. Macaroon

    Macaroon A bemused & bewildered

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    Why are all the drummer jokes so stoopid?

    So the singer can understand them!
     
  16. bearbait

    bearbait Full Member

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    Usual composition of a Rock Band?

    Three musicians and a drummer.
     
  17. Adze

    Adze Native

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    I have a friend who is a drummer... so far I've explained this joke twice...
     
  18. bearbait

    bearbait Full Member

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    Sounds like he really wanted to play bass guitar.
     
  19. bearbait

    bearbait Full Member

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    At a gig the drum solo is just so the audience, and the rest of the band, have time to go get another beer and have a pee.
     
  20. Adze

    Adze Native

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    No... it was only twice I had to explain it
     

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