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Seasonal Jokes

Discussion in 'Other Chatter' started by Alan De Enfield, Dec 10, 2019.

  1. Alan De Enfield

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    [​IMG]
     
    #1 Alan De Enfield, Dec 10, 2019
    Last edited: Dec 11, 2019
    zornt likes this.
  2. crosslandkelly

    crosslandkelly A somewhat settled

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    Access denied.
     
  3. oldtimer

    oldtimer Full Member

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    Yup. Very seasonal. You see something, raise expectations, open it and are disappointed.
     
    Toddy, Robbi and Corso like this.
  4. Corso

    Corso Full Member

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    Is that what millennials are calling santa's naughty list these days
     
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  5. crosslandkelly

    crosslandkelly A somewhat settled

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    Nope, definitely boomer ok. :D
     
  6. Alan De Enfield

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    It shows for me - Try again - does it work now ?

    [​IMG]
     
    bobnewboy likes this.
  7. crosslandkelly

    crosslandkelly A somewhat settled

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  8. Fadcode

    Fadcode Full Member

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    MY GPS


    I have a little GPS
    I’ve had it all my life
    Its better than the normal ones
    Because it is my Wife

    It gives me full instructions
    Especially how to drive
    “its thirty miles an hour” it says
    “you’re doing thirty-five”

    It tells me when to stop and start
    And when to use the brake
    And tells me that It’s never ever
    Safe, when I go to overtake

    It tells me when a light is red
    And when it goes to green
    It seems to know instinctively
    Just when to intervene

    It lists the vehicles just in front
    And all those to the rear
    And taking all this into account
    It specifies my gear

    I’m sure no other driver
    Has so helpful a device
    For when we leave and lock the car
    It still gives its advice

    It fills me up with counselling
    Each journey’s pretty fraught
    So why don’t I exchange it
    And get a quieter sort

    Ah well, you see, it cleans the house
    Makes sure I’m properly fed
    It washes all my shirts and things
    And…keeps me warm in bed

    Despite all of these advantages
    And my tendency to scoff
    I do wish that once in awhile
    I could turn the damned thing off.
     
  9. bearbait

    bearbait Full Member

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    (Problem uploading image!)
     
  10. bearbait

    bearbait Full Member

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  11. Woody girl

    Woody girl Full Member

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    Ha ha! Was dying to see what you were trying to post. Good one.!
     

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