I like Hammocks.

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Not sure if this is the right area for me to post....

I lived in a town until I was 10, then spent a summer in Portsmouth.

Portsmouth was boring until I found HMS Victory. I visited it every day for about 2 months and soon learned the whole tour, inc mind your head because of the low beams, which didn't affect me as I was only about 3 ft tall.

The gun crews slept above their guns in hammocks. They struggled as they were too big for the space and got flogged if they stole anyone elses space. They also used them as coffins.

The officers also had hammocks. These hammocks were box like things that had ropes from both ends.

I decided when I grew up I would be a pirate and steal the Victory and sleep in a hammock.

After Portsmouth, I ended up on a farm, a mile from the next house, and just down the road from a private tip, on the edge of a wood on a farm.

When I was 12 the tip became my playground during the summer holiday while my parents worked. I suppose I was a sort of latch key kid.

Yellow area where my tent was, below, the tip, to the right the woods

 

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There was an old caravan in there that was falling apart.

I managed to get the sides off and make myself a tent shape out of them.

A pile of cork out of a destroyed refrigeration unit filled one end, some cushions made my bed.

Took ages to convince mum to let me sleep in it. She worried about all the things that could go wrong.

I loved sleeping in my tent except for the brown thing that kept sitting in it looking at me. It was 4 inches tall, a foot long, had a long tail and red eyes. I decided I would always think and call it Mr Deer as anything else would freak out mum and I wouldn’t get to play there – let alone sleep there again.

It sort of freaked me out a bit too. I had heard of Bubonic Plague and didn't want any.

Spent some time throwing stones at it. It just moved out of the way and chittered at me.

I had saved up my pocket money and got a sheath knife from the village shop and used it to cut spears. These wernt the straightest things on the planet. I didn't know you could straighten them with fire, not that I had one. Anyway, setting fires in the wood or tip would have got me an instant grounding.

Mr Deer wouldn’t sit still so I could get it. I hunted it all over the tip without success. Took me a while to suss that I needed blunter points so they wouldn’t keep snapping. Kept me busy for days, but didn't end my problem.

 

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I had some baler twine, so I cut down a 2 inch thick piece of wood to make a bow, but couldn't bend it. It didn't occur to me to shave it thinner, although I did take the bark off.
I cut thinner ones until I found one I could bend.

Arrows were a problem. They wouldn’t fire straight, being rather bent. Eventually, I got some dowelling and that was much better. Still couldn't get Mr Deer. It would still be there looking at me when I woke up.

I found some rainbow trout in the stream. I tied string on the back of an arrow and spent hours trying to shoot the fish. Somehow the arrows would sort of bend as they went through the waters surface and miss the fish. Eventually, I was disturbed by the farmer. “When you have quite finished! Leave my fish alone”

Still couldn't get Mr Deer. Tried a catapult made out of a bike inner tube and a forked stick. Still no good.

I got hold of a Diana air pistol. It was so gutless that he wouldn’t even move when the pellets bounced off . It would just berate me in its squeaky little voice.

Decided I was never going to get him and gave up.

 

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The last straw was when he chewed through my sandwich box and ate bits of my lunch when I was out exploring.

I decided that as I couldn't get it, I would move up into the trees so it couldn't get me or my lunch.

Had a go at building a tree house. It took me ages to build as I didn't have a ladder. I didn't have a hammer or nails either, so I ended up in a pile of splinters when my pallets all fell out of the tree.

The farm dumped a huge polythene sheet they had used to cover a hayrick. My tent got waterproof!

Decided to make a hammock.
I cut a rectangle of polythene, poked some holes along both ends and put an arrow through each and tied on some bailer twine.
Ended up with a huge lump on the back of my head when one of the arrows broke.

Sorry its such a rough drawing

 

[No Idea]

Had another go.
This time I cut an 8 ft square of polythene and tied the corners to 4 trees. It was lovely – until it rained. Mr Deer thought me scurrying back in the dark hilarious and sat there chittering for ages. It didn't occur to me to put a cover over it.

 

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Tried rolling the polythene square and tying the ends up to the trees. This was almost impossible to get into and I got a sore rear when the rope slipped.

Roll of polythene tied by ends

 

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Eventually, I worked out that I needed to lay the sheet flat on the ground and fold the two edges to the centreline, and keep repeating until I had two rolls.

 

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I hammered one of my broken arrows through both rolls at one end and did the same at the other end, tied on some baler twine, tied it to my trees and got another bruise as the twine broke.

End tied off with arrow to stop it slipping

 

[No Idea]

Up until I hit the ground this time, it was just about perfect. With the two rolls, you sort of unrolled them in the middle and when you get in they sort of cocoon you.
I needed rope. Searched the tip, there wasn’t any.

Tried tying bunches of twine, but they would snap one after another as the loading wasn’t constant.



Discovered I could plat bailer twine. The orange plastic stuff was best and getting the ones with the knot at the end was the way to go. If I platted three plats together, I got useable rope of 9 bailer twine strands.

My knots were a bit haphazard as I didn't know any. Tying a constricting bow around the polythene after the arrow did work for a night – until the arrow pulled out. More bruises. Hello again, Mr Deer.

Eventually, I sorted out the knot I needed. To tie my ropes to the polythene. Tying it to the trees was easy as I didn't intend to try to get it down again.

I had a long white fur rug that I would put in my hammock and then climb into my sleeping bag in the hammock. It was lovely and warm and I knew I was safe as I was convinced Mr Dear couldn't climb trees.

 

[No Idea]

I found some orange boxes, tied them together and fitted ropes to make me an officers hammock. I ended up in hospital with lacerations to my stomach that time as when it broke I landed on my arrows. Mum was furious and I went back to my polythene hammock when I next got to stay in the wood.

After that, Summer ended. The following years were a mix of other pursuits and the hammocks were forgotten.

5 years ago, I was looking for something for my kids to do during the Summer holiday.

I saw some rope and some tarpaulin cheap in a discount store…..

 

[JonathanD]

How do you reply to a thread like this?

 

[telwebb]

I think you just sit back and let it roll...

 

[TeeDee]

I think it may be subliminal spam.... Impressive length of post , pictures and sketchs. Must have taken a bit of time.

I think its trying to encourage more hammocking.

 

[shaggystu]

superb thread, lovely story telling, great ending.

thanks for sharing

stuart

 

[ex-member Raikey]

wow, this is good stuff i can relate to parts of it,..!

did you use the keyboard?

or the "Wireless, PC to Brain Interface (pat pending)" and just spill it out?

 

[mace242]

Brilliant post. Thanks loads.

 

[Retired Member southey]

Good work chap, nice read and good r and d,

 

[Tengu]

Hammocks turn your skin blue you know.

 

[Robbi]

brill post, made me chuckle as it brought back memorys !!

thanks for posting....please continue...