How safe are women alone?

[robin wood]

ah I found some research done on it. Thankfully my worry is wrong - You are better off fighting the attacker than complying.
Studies have finally dispelled the myth that women are unable to protect themselves and that resistance will only "make things worse," replacing this erroneous claim with newfound data: immediate and aggressive responses including fighting back are effective. Conversely pleading, reasoning or appealing to a rapist’s humanity is not - the latter being "almost universally futile," notes Dr. Judith Herman, foremost authority on trauma and author of the best selling book Trauma and Recovery.

"By not resisting rape, women may be putting themselves at greater risk," says Sarah Ullman, assistant professor from the University of Illinois at Chicago. Of course fighting carries risks, but Ullman’s research on resistance strategies concluded that a woman’s "level of physical injury is mainly determined by the offender’s use of violence" and initial blows struck, not because she fought back.

Having choices and defense skills may also be critical in the aftermath. "The women who fought to the best of their abilities were not only more likely to be successful in thwarting the rape attempt, but less likely to suffer severe distress symptoms," wrote Herman. "By contrast, women who submitted without a struggle were more likely to be highly self critical and depressed in the aftermath."

This is clearly research done in the US where a high proportion of folk carry guns and violent attack is more common than here. Do you think it relates directly? and does it help folk decide whether women are safe in the English countryside or not?

When I read something like this "foremost authority on trauma" I think who says so? Someone once put out a press release calling me "internationally respected craftsman" and all the papers just printed it. I quite liked it and sometimes use it myself but they are simply marketing words, note she is also "author of the best selling book"

Regarding arming yourself does anyone remember WPC Nisha Patel-Nasri the off duty police officer much publicised victim of knife attack, turned out it was her own kitchen knife http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/crime/article718630.ece
And her husband is currently on trial suspected of being involved.
http://www.lifestyleextra.com/ShowS...ws_headline=husband_denies_murder_of_wpc_wife

People remember the initial report of a vicious knife attack and fear for their own safety, so often the story is different. We live in one of the safest times there has ever been but for some bizarre reason are fed daily with fear.

I liked the comparison of the chances of being attacked or struck by lightening, does anyone have any statistics on how many random attacks occur in countryside? Certainly there seem plenty of people here who have spent plenty of safe time out there.

Life is not without risk, I forget who said "a ship in a harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for" I would not propose going out in a dingy in a force 10, its about understanding the true risk and enjoying life.

 

[Pict]

Robinwood,

I appreciate what you said about a climate of fear when we live in very safe times. I think most of the problem is the concentrated effect of the news media, its like all news is local news.

Here in Brazil we have a street crime problem, yes we do. I´ve lived here for ten years and been involved in a few incidents of it myself, yes I have. However, I am daily bombarded with all the sordid details of every evil decision made within a hundred kilometers of here. The net effect is to think that this is happening all over or that we are in that kind of danger all the time. If you want to "feel safe" turn off the TV.

I really like the idea that security is just another survival skill. That makes sense and puts the subject in context. Like water or shelter it could easily rise to the top and become your most urgent need. Its a skill set like any other.

In some parts of the US it is quite common to apply for and recieve a concealed handgun permit, my state is one such place. I hear people there say they want to get a carry permit to "feel safe". Carrying a weapon does not make you safe, it makes you armed, and if it affects your emotions to do so I would say you are deluding yourself.

Staying safe is a matter of situational awareness and ACTING upon that inner voice that tells you when something isn´t right. Don´t talk yourself out of all those undefined warning signals your lower brain is sending you. Deer don´t have any "weapons" but they spook and run away. They also pay constant attention to what is around them. It is almost a certainty that your attacker was paying attention to you long before you were paying attention to him.

A former co-worker of mine who had been a Navy SEAL said it very well, "Guns? They´re for when you screw up." Mac

 

[firecrest]

Im surprised people feel we live in safe times and its all media hype! I have been verbally and physically attacked so many times by yobs that congregate near my house that I have been forced, for over ten years, to not leave alone after dark, or only when its raining, and if Im out in the dark I have to get a taxi home because I dont drive. its not the media throwing stones at me and threatning to kill me! Im not being overly dramatic either. This is a bad area and everybody here is subject to tyranny from "children". I think when people talk about `never having it safer` they usually mean from mugging or murder, which has reduced significantly since victorian times.

 

[locum76]

If you want to "feel safe" turn off the TV.

 

[Pict]

Firecrest,

I'm not saying that there are no bad places. I lived in a very bad neighborhood here in Brazil for five years. I didn't need the media to tell me things were bad there, the grapevine was good enough. That mayhem was localized though, if you left the neighborhood things were better, even a few miles away. Our response was to move a few miles away and life is much calmer now. So far we have only had one killing on my street since we moved (off duty police officer gunned down by a jealous husband) as opposed to one a week in our former location.

The Brazilian media is pretty morbid when it comes to reporting the latest violence, there are even whole shows devoted to the latest gory details or large police paramilitary operations. They never mention anything about violence in the bush. Here in the city I have all sorts of people say "Mac aren't you afraid of the bush?" I rarely run into anybody (except where I park) so no I'm not afraid of people in the bush here normally.

After living in a violent place I had to learn when to turn on the concentration and pay real close attention. I also had to learn to relax at times when things checked out. It was a wake-up call to me when I moved back to the US for a year after five years in that neighborhood. I was at Walmart trying to get my kid strapped into a new and confusing car seat and I had my head down in the back seat too long. This rising fear started coming up, look around, look around, and I suddenly stood up, and looked around. Of course there was nothing there. "Dude, you're at Walmart... relax, nobody's going to zone in on you." (said the voices in my head) It wasn't until them that I realized how much the violence here had conditioned me to stay alert.

I have since learned to turn that on and off as needed and life is much better. Mac

ETA - My point. If you watch a constant stream of real violence (as opposed to fiction) be it local news or from the latest war in darkest Africa I believe that emotionally you will be on a constant adrenaline drip making it difficult to just relax and be at peace.

 

[John Fenna]

Towns and crowded places intimidate me - the wilds are much more relaxing!

 

[jojo]

Pict has got a very good point when he says to turn the tv off. Day after day, we receive images of violence. On our screens, we see these images of violence in the whole of the country, but concentrated , making it look like there is non stop violence. Most of it, most of the time does not affect us. There is violence in our own little corner of the world, yes, and this is the bit of environment we need to be aware of.
I, in Lowestoft, am not affected by the violence in, say, Birmingham, or London. The only place, the only potential violence I need to be aware of, and could possibly do anything about, is within my line of sight. Hope this rambling makes sense

 

[firecrest]

Pict - I watched City of God which kind of put me off Brazil - is it really like that?
To be honest ive answered my own questions - I put up with so much in this town, I'd probably be much safer alone in the wilds! The areas surrounding manchester, where I live, its just crawling with feral kids. You know what, I bet some days in the bush would turn their lives around to.

 

[C_Claycomb]

The problem with feral kids is the same you have with any fast breeding species where there aren't enough predators to keep them in check...

Bring Back Big Cats!

 

[jojo]

The problem with feral kids is the same you have with any fast breeding species where there aren't enough predators to keep them in check...

Bring Back Big Cats!

I like your style Chris!!!!

 

[firecrest]

Or we could always put rat poison in bottles of white lightning and leave them on street corners.

*note - no no. Im not serious!

 

[Pict]

Firecrest,

That's a case in point. It is like that... in the City of God... and Cafezal, and Jardim Leblon, and Morro das Pedras, and Indio, and don't even get me started about Riberao das Neves. The rest of Brazil is similar at times but only on occasion. If you stay out of... those places, the drug trade, bars, and other peoples girlfriends, your chances of survival go WAY up. Some places here are downright boring. Other places are spectacularly beautiful and quite peaceful. It just pays to know where you are and what you are about. Mac

 

[Graywolf]

Pict you talk a lot of sense.

 

[RobertRogers]

It is rather dangerous, especially in remote areas. There are many wolves in sheeps clothing - even those who you might never suspect.

 

[william#]

Also, even if you are in no danger, you may well get hit on by randy male campers who think they are in love with you. I'm not kidding. Scientific research has proved that there is a very fine line between the feelings of euphoria caused by being in the great outdoors along with people of a similar outlook and interests, and feelings of love and sexuality. For blokes, being in the great outdoors can actually make them horny. If there is a pretty unaccompanied female nearby, all the testosterone kicks in and they want to be chatting you up. They also think you'll feel the same way.

This is one of the reasons many women stop going to meets or camping trips after a couple of times. They love the outdoors, but get fed up of men (some of them married) hitting on them regardless of how innocent the intent.

Anyway, there's no reason you shouldn't give it a try. Some precautions might be in order like a shreek alarm, but I think you're probably in more danger in a town centre or outside a nightclub than on a campsite.


I'd be interested in seeing what some of the ladies think.

Good luck either way.

Eric

a psychologist could argue that all our en devours are motivated by the need to reproduce(robots to rna/dna).. forget shreek alarms there are plenty of logs in a wood

 

[Cobweb]

Ok, this a question for the guys:
What would be the best way to put off a would be 'wooer' if you got into a situation with a randy male? Just in case a jab in the jewels isn't really appropriate

 

[xylaria]

Ok, this a question for the guys:
What would be the best way to put off a would be 'wooer' if you got into a situation with a randy male? Just in case a jab in the jewels isn't really appropriate

you could belch, fart, tell them your gay, celebit, go on about how lovely your hubby is. I normal say my hubby is lovely cos he is. I have never had a problem with any one at any bushcraftuk event.

 

[Mesquite]

you could belch, fart, tell them your gay, celebit, go on about how lovely your hubby is. I normal say my hubby is lovely cos he is. I have never had a problem with any one at any bushcraftuk event.

Only problem with saying you're gay or celibate is the 'wooer' might take it as a persoanl challenge to 'convert' you or say he can cure you of your celibacy because he's such a 'hot' lover.

 

[Tengu]

I never have this problem.

Something must be wrong

 

[Cobweb]

Aww poor Tengu I doubt anything is wrong, you are just so Hot that even the most randy of males thinks that he doesn't stand a chance

I've tried the 'I'm Gay' route, it doesn't work at all, I am thinking of investing in a wedding ring, but I suppose it's not really foolproof, especially if there is alcohol in their blood... Mind you if it gets to that stage a knee in the bits might be the only thing...

Luckily, I haven't had that problem with the group meets yet (There is always a first time) I normally get hit on while working at a Wedding by good ole (drunk) Uncle Bob and even the Groom once :O