Good Excuses Please?

[Nod]

Dear Other Halves,

Could you please be so kind as to post the best excuses provided by your "bushcraft nutters" when questioned as to why they have been out Bushcrafting yet again.

I am currently on a yellow card at home and require excuses for:
Staying out waaaaay too long.
Coming back smelling of smoke,
Drying undergrowth and fungi etc on the radiators and airing cupboard.
For my increasing collection of sticks and lumps of wood left by the garden shed.
And finally, for the vast amount of wood shavings blowing all over the garden as I attempt yet another wooden spoon.

Thanks in advance.

 

[C_Claycomb]

Maybe I am being slow, but I fail to see why an excuse is required.

I mean, what is the WORST thing that could be done to a normal person, "Get out, I don't want you in the house, go sleep in the garden!"

Just think of the oportunities that would present!!! :-D

My advice? Quit doing things by half measures!!!! Chuck the spoons, get out of the shed and start carving longbows in the living room. Forget fungi, start drying the skins off road kills (or any other kind that are handy). Make the house smell of woodsmoke so that you blend in, better yet, take a leaf from US bow hunters' book, start wearing cover scents. Fox is good, but deer will do.

Seriously, excuses are only a temporary solution. You need to get to a point where they are no longer necessary. Try to work out how to make your other half a bushcraft sympathiser at least. That is the only long term solution that I can think of.



Have you thought of saying you were out with your mistress?

 

[boaty]

Could you please be so kind as to post the best excuses provided by your "bushcraft nutters" when questioned as to why they have been out Bushcrafting yet again.

Are you looking for new excuses? It won't work - they use telephones. Whenever one hears a new excuse, it quickly gets phoned round. They are always one step ahead.

Apologies and gifts work better than excuses

 

[Viking]

Take her with you an learn her about bushcrafting. I did now we spenf most of our weekends together out in the woods :-D

 

[Ed]

I agree with viking.... but my other half 'IS' a bushcraft nutter!!!! you should see her christmas list!!!

But try these....

(Staying out waaaaay too long.)
Aliens.... you may get a book out of it!

(Coming back smelling of smoke,)
If you used the above... The Aliens tried to cook you..... or chris' idea of smelling of something worse, she'll soon like woodsmoke

(Drying undergrowth and fungi etc on the radiators and airing cupboard.)
ooo where did that come from.... we must have damp!

(For my increasing collection of sticks and lumps of wood left by the garden shed.)
It's for the BBQ

(And finally, for the vast amount of wood shavings blowing all over the garden as I attempt yet another wooden spoon.)
'What!!!.... you realy want me to go down B&Q and get a bag of shavings to spread on the garden for £15...!!!'

Hope this helps :-?

Ed

 

[ChrisKavanaugh]

Don't the welsh traditionaly carve spoons for their sweethearts?

 

[Ed]

They sure do.... They are called love spoons, lots of lovely weird carvings that all have symbolism.

Ed

 

[Nod]

C-Claycomb......I love your style, Longbows and road kill it is!!!!

In fact you all seem very well prepared in the handling of queies from the other halves. Maybe you should all put together an Information Sheet on this very subject that could be shared amongst the community!!!
Thanks everyone, you really made me laugh..........just off with the Aliens now to carve a wooden love spoon for the BBQ... :-D

 

[theknight]

"Coming back smelling of smoke"

Break the news gently but tell your wife that you are really a part time Fireman and you have been keeping it from her for years and you are now glad that you have got of your chest!.......bit thin I know but worth a try!

 

[Justin Time]

No need for excuses, simply state that it's good for the family and helps pay the mortgage, best to do this when on the way out the door......

when you come back happy, refreshed, stinking, dripping blood from that new cut, and with various types of soil, flora and fauna attached to boots and clothing then you can explain....

Bushcraft helps to relieve the stress and strain of modern living, which means that you're better company when you get back home. and the faint grasp you have on sanity is strengthened by your time outdoors which means you're able to work more productively, Cut off that lifeline and you'll soon be unemployed and miserable as sin, making everyone elses life hell.

Seems good enough for me, but what do I know, since I'm single again....

Justin

 

[Gary]

Justin does have a point my wife actually kicks me out the door telling me to go get a 'fix of green!'

Trick is to train them secretly into thinking its what they want!

 

[Wendi]

The real trick Gary is to find a woman who loves it as much as you do and is eager to share the experience with you.

 

[Tony]

The real trick Gary is to find a woman who loves it as much as you do and is eager to share the experience with you.

Hi Wendy - where have you been, we've missed you :mrgreen:

I think you have hit it on the nail, but most of us are married before we really discover the desire to spend all our time in the outdoors. Too late then I think that most of the other half’s are very patient with us, well mine is :-D

 

[al]

went to the woods the other day after my lady said"shall we go to the woods so you can chop some fire wood up" got there and my woman and our little girl sat under a tree eating their dinner i cooked them then my little girl played with her digging stick i made her( very important you know) and it chucked it down, we all got wet and muddy and it was great , cheers al :-D

 

[PC2K]

it's cheaper than seeing a srink ! :shock:

 

[Anonymous]

only time i have ever been "lost in a woods was wioth a girlfriend. she said i was the person she'd most want to be with in that situation. alas i am now single. but more time for the woods that are my true love

 

[bushwacker bob]

You guys are doing it wrong. i found that seeking forgiveness after the event is a lot easier than seeking permission before!

 

[Powderburn]

My brother-in-law uses this on my sister:

"You're lucky I'm out hunting/fishing/camping/hiking with your dad and brother(s) instead of drinking up all of our money in the bar and chasing women."

It usually shuts her up until the next outing rolls around. :biggthump

 

[alick]

Give her some time to herself by taking the kids with you. There are some times when that's more precious than gold :-D

 

[Andy]

if worst comes to the worst and you split up. the lady ay get the house so you will just have to go and live in the woods